Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

No show wedding

57 replies

Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:14

I was an on the day no show at a friends wedding in summer and still feel terrible.
They married abroad on the Saturday and even though I had a really important event on the Friday night I didn’t want to miss either so decided I’d fly the morning of.
I was due to fly very early morning for their afternoon ceremony and I missed my flight because I overslept after a few too many the night before.
I messaged the bride and apologised profusely and sent her £100. She has left me on read since.
I’m 100% on her side with this of course, it was not good enough at all on my part. But I’m left wondering what to do now.
Should I try to message again? We are part of a friendship group of 8 and I’m wondering what will happen now at group gatherings, we haven’t met up as a group yet since.

OP posts:
Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:16

You've ruined this friendship because to you got too pissed.

FuzzyWolf · 20/10/2025 21:18

Do you have a drink problem? I doubt you can make this better. You showed her what was more important and it was a few drinks. I doubt your friendship will come back from that.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:19

Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:16

You've ruined this friendship because to you got too pissed.

I know I feel terrible. I had already cut down to only drink a few times a year and just won’t bother from now on, not worth it at all.
Im wondering if anyone else has had a fall out with someone in a larger friendship group and how that affected the dynamic. The rest of the group don’t have any issue with me and I don’t want to lose them, but I’m wondering after what I did maybe I should fade out of the group? Out of respect for the bride? I don’t have any other friends really but it’s my own fault.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:20

I wouldn't intentionally fade out, they can make their own choices. But you do need to step up as a friend.

Mariets · 20/10/2025 21:21

Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:16

You've ruined this friendship because to you got too pissed.

What she said. Why did you get pissed the night before knowing you had to be up early for your flight?

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:21

FuzzyWolf · 20/10/2025 21:18

Do you have a drink problem? I doubt you can make this better. You showed her what was more important and it was a few drinks. I doubt your friendship will come back from that.

No I don’t drink often. It was a special occasion on the Friday a bit like let’s say a wedding (but it’s outing), where you’d celebrate and have drinks.
My alarm went off in the early hours and I remember picking up my phone and thinking I’ll chill here for another 10 mins before I get out of bed because I had a bit extra time, but then suddenly I was waking up a few hours later with my phone next to me. It was a late night and I’d had some drinks so must have fell back in a deep sleep whilst scrolling in bed.

OP posts:
cheeseandbranston · 20/10/2025 21:23

I think the people on this thread are harsh. If a good friend of mine missed my wedding I wouldn’t be delighted but I wouldn’t leave them on read for 6 months either. Mistakes happen. She’s the bride, not god.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:24

Mariets · 20/10/2025 21:21

What she said. Why did you get pissed the night before knowing you had to be up early for your flight?

Show quote history

I think I just thought I could do it all, have a drink both Friday and Saturday. Never entered my head I would miss the flight, I was due to be travelling with a friend who was at both events too but they made the flight.

OP posts:
NotableI · 20/10/2025 21:24

Christ people are being harsh, I would have been put out if I were the bride but I would appreciate you trying to make amends and pay for your ‘plate.’ I certainly wouldn’t lose a friend over it!

youalright · 20/10/2025 21:24

You've shown your friend she's not a priority i wouldn't forgive you either

Tryingatleast · 20/10/2025 21:25

Op shit happens just unfortunately it’s a biggie and it had an impact on someone else. There’s nothing you can do, maybe message again saying you feel awful but after that you just have to get on with life. I’ll be honest, personally I’d forgive you but everyone is different x

MontythePrince · 20/10/2025 21:29

As a bride I could not get too worked up about this, honestly. These things happen and holding a grudge is never a good look. I think your friend is firmly in the wrong here, not you. Who amongst us has not fallen back asleep after an alarm?

pancakestastelikecrepe · 20/10/2025 21:30

Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:21

No I don’t drink often. It was a special occasion on the Friday a bit like let’s say a wedding (but it’s outing), where you’d celebrate and have drinks.
My alarm went off in the early hours and I remember picking up my phone and thinking I’ll chill here for another 10 mins before I get out of bed because I had a bit extra time, but then suddenly I was waking up a few hours later with my phone next to me. It was a late night and I’d had some drinks so must have fell back in a deep sleep whilst scrolling in bed.

Show quote history

Don't beat yourself up, despite the hyperbolic comments above.
Pretty sure the wedding's vibe was not ruined by your absence and a great time was had by all...
Leave the bride to de-compress from the 'Main Character' syndrome weddings, these days, seem to foster and I'm sure in time, she'll not be arsed...

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/10/2025 21:33

When’s the next group meet up? Do you know what she’s said about it to the other friends? I don’t know what you should do tbh, it’s awkward for everyone. She might not be angry anymore but not sure what to say to you as it’s been so long. Be useful to know what she’s thinking in advance if you can. Hopefully the next get together is low key and you can all be in the same room and catch up calmly.

curious79 · 20/10/2025 21:33

Personally I think the bride is being a dick. Shit happens, people miss flights. Unless you’re habitually crap it’s not a reason to ice you out

LadyDarcy80s · 20/10/2025 21:34

I’d send one more apology text, the balls in her court. I wouldn’t fade away from the rest of your friends though, speak to them about it and tell them how bad you feel.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:37

Thanks for the responses.
We are due meet up in a few weeks.
My friends said on the day she just sort of laughed it off, and then I met with some friends (she wasn’t there) a few weeks ago and they tried to assure me she wasn’t angry, but didn’t seem convincing. They said she’s been really busy on honeymoon etc so that’s probably why she didn’t reply to my text.
I could maybe text her once more and then go from there, just unsure what to say really.

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 20/10/2025 21:38

LadyDarcy80s · 20/10/2025 21:34

I’d send one more apology text, the balls in her court. I wouldn’t fade away from the rest of your friends though, speak to them about it and tell them how bad you feel.

ETA: Just seen your update which answers most of this, sort of 👇
……….

Yes, start with the friend who you were supposed to be flying with.

Did she not ring you, repeatedly, to find out what had happened to you??

It does seem odd you’ve not had contact with any of this group of 8 friends since the summer though.

JudgeBread · 20/10/2025 21:39

Typical Mumsnet, first post sticks the boot in (and is incredibly dramatic) and second post is dO yOu HaVe A dRiNkInG pRoBlEm?!?! Didn't you know that if you drink more than a thimbleful of cava on Christmas you're an alcoholic on this website?

Look you fucked up. You know you did. Give bride a bit of time, if she's a really good friend and you're not the kind of person who always flakes on her she'll forgive you eventually. Part of having a destination wedding is accepting that air travel can be unpredictable and people might not make it.

Ok, you didn't make it because you were a bit heavy on the sauce but... I mean I'd forgive you. It was stupid but it's not world endingly unforgivable. Unless you're the groom.

I'd be cross for a while but it'd become funny eventually. You may have to accept never being allowed to live it down of course, but that's part of all the best friendships - the times you fuck up and still love eachother.

Allswellandgood · 20/10/2025 21:39

cheeseandbranston · 20/10/2025 21:23

I think the people on this thread are harsh. If a good friend of mine missed my wedding I wouldn’t be delighted but I wouldn’t leave them on read for 6 months either. Mistakes happen. She’s the bride, not god.

Absolutely this!
Harsh is the word!
You all sound like you've never made a mistake.
OP comes across as sounding very sorry indeed.
The new bride sounds rather harsh as well.
If she's not willing to speak with a good friend after 6 months have gone by, and isn't willing to meet up with an open heart as to how sincerely sorry OP feels, then it's her who is keeping her foot firmly against the door to their friendship.

Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:41

It's not a case of shit happens (which might be a puncture on the way to the airport) or a lot of your plate. It's that you got too drunk to wake up. That's shitty behaviour.

PullTheBricksDown · 20/10/2025 21:52

Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:41

It's not a case of shit happens (which might be a puncture on the way to the airport) or a lot of your plate. It's that you got too drunk to wake up. That's shitty behaviour.

It also suggests a more serious drinking problem than the 'only a few times a year' post implies. Be honest OP: has anything like this happened before with these friends? If they're your only real friends, who are you drinking with when you do drink?

Pl242 · 20/10/2025 21:54

Obviously she’s right to be angry but it does seem a bit much for her to keep hold of this anger for so long.

One thing I would ask you, do you have form for flaking out or getting massively drunk and it affecting others? I don’t ask to be judgy. I’ve not done what you’ve done myself but really could have back in the day. I was a nightmare in many respects and my friends came close to just having enough with me at times. So just wondering if this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for her? If so I could understand her anger.

However if this is out of character for you then I think she’s being harsh on you.

Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:57

PullTheBricksDown · 20/10/2025 21:52

It also suggests a more serious drinking problem than the 'only a few times a year' post implies. Be honest OP: has anything like this happened before with these friends? If they're your only real friends, who are you drinking with when you do drink?

Show quote history

No, I’ve never slept in after too many drinks before. And yes, I drink a few times a year - usually with these friends! If not - with family, my partner etc at occasions such as Christmas and birthdays like most people! Thank you for the concern, I know people with drinking problems tend to be in denial or hide it, but that isn’t the case here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthismykarma · 20/10/2025 21:59

Pl242 · 20/10/2025 21:54

Obviously she’s right to be angry but it does seem a bit much for her to keep hold of this anger for so long.

One thing I would ask you, do you have form for flaking out or getting massively drunk and it affecting others? I don’t ask to be judgy. I’ve not done what you’ve done myself but really could have back in the day. I was a nightmare in many respects and my friends came close to just having enough with me at times. So just wondering if this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for her? If so I could understand her anger.

However if this is out of character for you then I think she’s being harsh on you.

I don’t have form for it, we all grew up together so between the ages of maybe 16-21 we were all party animals and have our fair share of drunken tales between us. All within the realm of normal and nothing more than something we look back at and laugh at now. From about age 25 I’ve actually been referred to as “the mum of the group” because I got over that lifestyle sooner than the rest of them.

OP posts: