Just for fun- what phrases do you read on MN that you never hear in RL?

[BeerOrStout]

I've read this again, today. 'A prince among men'.

I've never heard anyone say that in RL. (Yes, I've read it but not heard it.)

Yes, it’s a long standing and well known expression.

Never spit my tea all over my keyboard either.

Yes, this absolutely drives me mad aswell.
It's so affected and actually utter bollocks unless you are sat with a stethoscope recording the groans of your stomach.

Even worse though is 'Naice'
I won't continue reading as soon as I spot that, knowing the OP is 'not for me' 😬

No, you’re misunderstanding the term ‘food noise’. It has nothing whatsoever to do with ‘the groans of your stomach’.

Lock it in

Outside of MN, see also cliched dating ads. Till I did OLD I never knew there were so many people out there who loved 'going for long country walks then curling up by a roaring log fire'. Yaaaaaawn. I used to see it as code for 'I don't have any hobbies'.

That's not what food noise means and if posters only see it on here that indicates that they don't get information from a variety of sources. It's a widely used term all over the place

“Naice” isn’t really a Mumsnet-only thing. It goes with “refained” as words used to characterize someone trying to sound posher than they are. It’s been around for ages.

I've never really 'got' cocklodger.

Sorry! Never heard or or read it till it was on MN.

I know what it means but why not say 'male lodger' ? A person with a cock who lodgers an d has sex with you. I don't know how that translates literally into someone who doesn't pay their way in your house.

Boils my piss
Grinds my gears
Give your head a wobble
i was today years old
Tell me you're x without telling me x

Only ever seen on MN and hate them all with a vengeance

I’m amazed that people have never heard these in RL. I think I’ve heard every one of them.
IIRC even naice ham gained popularity on here after being found in the wild in a shopping list.

The only thing I see more of on here than in RL is gosh. I heard it frequently when I worked with small children, not much since but see it frequently on here.

You’re overlooking the usage of ‘cock’ as a standard insult eg ‘He’s a total cock.’ So a cocklodger is someone who lives with his girlfriend without paying his share of rent/utilities, relying on the fact that they’re having sex to continue the situation. If they weren’t having sex, he’d have to pay rent etc, like any other lodger. His cock is his sole contribution. Therefore he’s also a bit of a cock.

Life admin and mental load.

Use your words. I guess you only see it in anonymous chat groups because it's so bloody patronising that nobody says it to an adult IRL.

Think as in "I have a good job - think lawyer" Just say what your bloody job is

You do you

Use your words - so patronising like you're talking to a toddler

"Are you on glue?" although I've heard it said by a very annoying character in a NI TV programne so maybe it's common there

Outwith is definitely Scottish. Don't know what I'd say instead of it

I hate all the DD, DXH, DMIL nonsense and refuse to use it

"Boils my piss" is gross enough, but pales in comparison with "Rip (or tear) someone a new one" which has the added 'bonus' of horrific violence.

I think some of the things mentioned have faded out a bit now... I haven't seen a recommendation to give a "tinkly laugh" or a "head tilt" for a while!

Tigerbalmshark

I did actually manage to use “it’s an invitation not a summons” last week! To somebody mithering about having to go to somebody’s work retirement do. I was proud of myself 🤣🤣🤣

Perfect use!!👏👏👏

Some people on here must move in very limited circles if they’ve never seen or read anything being described as ‘vile’ or heard someone say ‘curl up with a book’. The vast majority of things people are listing on here are really ordinary words and phrases that are either commonly used in real life or appear in every forum or social media platform in existence.

Some of them, like ‘ducks in a row’ and ‘mental load’ and ‘give your head a wobble’ are certainly very overused on Mumsnet, but they’re absolutely not unique to it.

I hate the phrase 'use your words' that is often used on MN. It seems a very patronising thing to say to another adult.

I agree about them fading out, I haven't seen anyone on here say "no is a complete sentence" or LTB for a long time now. Or "did you mean to be so rude"

On the food noise thing, one of the leading nutrition and eating disorder specialists in Ireland was on the radio speaking about how the prices of weight loss jabs needed to come down and he said food noise was one of the best terms to be introduced into modern language because before that people he saw couldn’t describe their relationship with food. It had been a term I found ridiculous until I heard him talk about it.

My adult son often says it to me. I do find it annoying😠

I hadn't heard 'reverse ferret' before Mumsnet, but having Googled it I see it has been in use for a while. Never heard it IRL.

I hate all the DD, DXH, DMIL nonsense and refuse to use it

Me too.
I don't know how it fits now as it's very 'old speak' from the 1950s and goes with the 'naice' territory.

No one every says 'My dear mother in law' and genuinely means it.

Really? The thing I wish we put behind us on Mumsnet is the automatic assumption that mothers in law are automatically in the wrong and daughters in law are automatically in the right. It’s tedious, lazy thinking and ageist. And misogynist.

Fab!