Pet burial - cremation or burial/flower pot burial

[Dunsand]

Kept details minimal to maintain anonymity as much as possible.

I share ownership of a small pet with a younger relative who lives overseas, though I’m the main owner. The pet is nearing the end of its life.

I would prefer cremation, but my relative would like a burial. I know they live overseas so they won't know what I will do with the pet at the time but when they come home next they will know.

Unfortunately, the garden space available isn’t deep enough for a proper burial, so I started considering a flower pot burial instead.

After looking online, I found that I’d need a fairly large and deep pot, which would cost around £160. On top of that, I’d need compost — probably two bags, adding another £20–30 including delivery. The plan then is in the spring time, to plant something in the pets memory.

At this point, it’s becoming more expensive to arrange a flower pot burial than to have the pet cremated. My relative wasn’t thinking about costs, though — they simply find the idea of a burial, even in a flower pot, more comforting.

What do I do?
I would prefer cremation. It's easier. It's quicker.

I am due to make a purchase on a big pot planter and I am nervous due to the cost, shipping and then compost too.

I think cremation is better. I've buried a couple of cats in my back garden but it's quite deep. And not big enough to take any more I don't think!

Can you just phrase it as the burial is impractical and too expensive?

I'm also not mad about this giant pot just sitting there with a dead animal in it. I don't know why really.

Don’t bury it in your garden. Foxes may dig it up.

A dog buried in a pot - slowly decomposing doesn’t bear thinking about.

I cremated my dog and buried her ashes in a medium sized flower pot and grew rosemary in it.

Apparantly they do decompose.

I think from what I see online I would have to have drainage holes in the bottom and then line it with something or stones then do a layer of compost. Have the dead pet in a biodegradable container or cloth and then add another layer of compost. Then after that add a layer of stones so that if I need to dig up a plant at some stage I would know when to stop digging. Then add more compost for planting.

Apparantly they do decompose but I don't know to what degree and their remains go on to feed the soil and plant.

Can you ask your relative to pay half towards the cost ?

I have to say I have never heard of a plant/flower pot burial. Does the pet literally get buried in a pot then covered with compost and a plant planted in the pot? Doesn’t it smell etc., as the animal decomposes?

I have always cremated my pets but it is very expensive now hence one reason for my interest in the flower pot burial.

It's not a dog. It's a smaller pet. Think of the lines of hamster, guinea pig, rabbit. I don't want to give identifying information away.

I don't know. I never did this myself before.

I think regarding smelly, it depends. From what I read online, I will need drainage holes so rain can drain away and not flood the pot. I think if it gets wet and floods, that's when issues happen.

I think if I do a plant pot burial, I would only do the burial up to a half way point approx and set it aside outside with a lid perhaps and leave it undisturbed until the spring time and it should give some time. Then then plant something in memory.

The pot I am looking at is huge. 90cm tall. I probably don't need it that big but that's the one I am drawn to most.

Me, personally I would do a smaller pot and bring indoors but I am not allowed to do that due to living with another person and paranoia on their part.

My relative is a child and never contributed to our pet.

You're the adult and the owner. Of course be sensitive to the child when you explain but it's your decision so you decide. And you prefer cremation so that's what you do.

By the way, having an individual cremation for your pet is much much more expensive so you might want to enquire further about that.

I lost three rabbits when DD was a child.

All were cremated and we left the ashes of two of them in a woodland nearby.

The ashes of the third one has been buried here:
https://www.pcsonline.org.uk/crematoriums/surrey

I personally think knowing the pet is in a nice place and peaceful was more important to my DD (she was 10 when we lost the first rabbit) than having a plot in our garden.

The costs you say for the pot burial are ridiculous for a small pet.

Due to my location and other needs, the pot that would suit me best is 90cm tall. It's huge. It would be piece of outside decor too.

Creamation. I wouldn't mess around with pots and stuff.

This is an easy one to solve. You do a cremation and put the ashes into a large pot (not huge, large). And when the relative comes over you can say that is “pet names” resting place.

Sorted.

I lost my guinea pig one year when the snow was on the ground so I left her in a shoe box until I could dig a hole. Unfortunately, I took the lid off the box when I was burying it and the smell will never leave me. Please be careful that the flowerpot burial is deep enough and not going to leak fluids. You will be so upset if you have to deal with the decomposing body. Cremation and then the ashes in the pot might be better. You don't have to declare that the pet was cremated, you can just tell the child that you have put them into the flowerpot.

Can you not just bury in a local spot or a friend’s garden?

Do you really want a pot in your garden that you will look at every day knowing there is a decomposing animal inside? That’s unpleasant for you and not very dignified for the animal. Get it cremated and scatter the ashes somewhere beautiful or add the ashes into a smaller pot with a plant.
If the co-owner of the pet is a child and lives overseas then you, the adult and resident carer, make the decision over this.

I never thought about cremation and then ashes in a smaller pot. I

I think if I was to get my pet cremated I would like to keep her ashes close to me.

I am going through a process of buying a huge outdoor pot and I am nearly there and just waiting to make a call for payment.

The pot I choose should be natural enough and it should allow decomposing. I choose a big massive oak barrel planter. 😂 For such a tiny little pet.

Now I am torn about possibly changing course.

The joint plan was to plant something in her memory. The animal is a hamster and she loves her digging bucket of substrate so I think my family member finds it comforting the idea that she will be returned to a large pot to be laid to rest there.

If the relative is a child, you are the adult and paying for it, you get to decide. If the pet lives with you and the relative lives in another country it is your pet.

Having a cremation and then burying the ashes in a small pot sounds like a good compromise. I don't think a proper burial sounds practical or really doable in your circumstances.

If you're talking about something as small as a hamster I wouldn't bother with flowerpots or cremation - just bury it in the garden. For something that small I wouldn't worry about digging a very deep hole.

The plan was to lay her to rest in the pot and plant something on top. The the pot will be big enough.

This option is definitely a hard no from me. I would have to dig a hole deep enough and bury the animal deep to avoid other animals digging up the remains.

I would like to think that your relative would be able to come to terms with the idea of cremating the remains of your shared pet, and then perhaps you could bury your pet's ashes in an area of your garden where you could plant a memorial bush, rose or otherwise perhaps?
You could even divide the ashes between a smaller pot if that would give your relative more comfort to have something growing in a pot, the only advantage of that is that it is portable.
Whatever you decide I'm sorry to hear that your pet is nearing the end of its life, always a very sad time ♥️💐

I am just so torn about what to do.

I wanted a cremation but I was talked around into a burial and a flower pot burial and I am to inches of paying for a huge pot and now I am changing course.

Something that I would like, is a portable option. A huge pot is not portable.

I am just after checking online, there is a pet cremation place in the next county that does pick up by courier starting from 175 pounds for small pets.

But then I saw pictures of the cremation chamber and it looks so cold.

I think it is somewhat comforting to have a huge pot and and plant some lavender in her memory next spring.

I haven't a clue what to do.

Thank you.
I am heartbroken. My hamster snuggled into my boobies yesterday and I love her so much.