Pet burial - cremation or burial/flower pot burial

[Dunsand]

Kept details minimal to maintain anonymity as much as possible.

I share ownership of a small pet with a younger relative who lives overseas, though I’m the main owner. The pet is nearing the end of its life.

I would prefer cremation, but my relative would like a burial. I know they live overseas so they won't know what I will do with the pet at the time but when they come home next they will know.

Unfortunately, the garden space available isn’t deep enough for a proper burial, so I started considering a flower pot burial instead.

After looking online, I found that I’d need a fairly large and deep pot, which would cost around £160. On top of that, I’d need compost — probably two bags, adding another £20–30 including delivery. The plan then is in the spring time, to plant something in the pets memory.

At this point, it’s becoming more expensive to arrange a flower pot burial than to have the pet cremated. My relative wasn’t thinking about costs, though — they simply find the idea of a burial, even in a flower pot, more comforting.

What do I do?
I would prefer cremation. It's easier. It's quicker.

I am due to make a purchase on a big pot planter and I am nervous due to the cost, shipping and then compost too.

Because the hamster likes to dig in a bucket in her enclosurer my family member lied the idea of laying her to rest in a big flower pot and it seemed to be the most natural for her.

I am so unbelievably torn. I have no idea what to do or what direction to take here any more. I can't think clearly.

I wanted cremation but my mind was changed to a burial and then a flower pot burial and now it's been changed again to cremation back to burying ashes.

Absolutely torn.

The two different options are both suitable.
The cremation,
The burial

I don't know what way to go now.

“I wanted a cremation but I was talked around into a burial”

I think in this circumstance a white lie is justified. The hamster’s body is tiny, her cremated ashes will be tiny. Choose a pot that is small and portable in case you move home you can take her with you. Mix the ashes into the soil and plant something beautiful in her memory. The other overseas owner will know no different and you have peace of mind. It’s you who is caring for this little hamster, you get to decide her final resting arrangements. If she ends her life being put to sleep by a vet then the vet can arrange the cremation for you.
But my condolences for when the time comes. A tiny body does not mean any less love. I had a hamster who I loved enormously!

I think it is somewhat comforting to have a huge pot and and plant some lavender in her memory next spring.

Such a hard decision to make at this sad time, especially having to keep in mind the feelings of your relative who is not with you to share in the decision making.
Your thoughts on a larger pot, with a lavender plant, sounds like a really lovely, and comforting memorial tribute for your dear, sweet pet.

Thank you for all of the replies and help. I thought about this so much more and I think I decided what to do.

I know you guys recommended a happy medium of cremation followed by a burial in a smaller pot. A smaller plant pot will be disrespected more. Not by me. I have an aging parent and she will likely become paranoid if the idea of a dead pet and chuck a smaller pot or dunno it in the end of the yard.

I will go for a bigger pot and meet my relatives wishes abroad.

I think that you are overthinking this all. It's a hamster, they are very small. I would bury it in the garden. Even a hole 50cm is deep enough. As long as you put a rock or slab on it for a month, nothing will then dig it up. You could then put a plant or some bulbs above the hamster as a little tribute.

This.
We had our beloved pet cremated and then buried his ashes under a favourite tree in our garden - so that would tick both boxes

Cremate then put ashes in a biggish pot and tell them you buried the pet if they will make a fuss.

Thank you for the replies.

I went through with the purchase of huge planter pot that is 90cm tall.

I am on the course for a burial in the pot now. The pot was so expensive, I won't be able to afford another near 200 quid to drop on cremation. I will just make do with the large pot.

I watched videos online about how to do it. I put a layer of peoples down to use as a filter for water so it doesn't flood. Then some compost. Then the dead pet that will be wrapped in a biodegradable cloth or have a biodegradable box. Then some more compost. Then another layer of rocks. That should probably be approx 1 third full then.

At that stage I will place it aside for the spring time and leave that gap for planting in the spring so that I could cover it while the body decomposes.

I think that's how I will do it.

I had darling puss cremated and buried her ashes under a forget me not. It joys so happened I was planting the forget me not on my Dad’s grave at the time.
He loves cats and now they have each other for company

I am very pleased you have been able to reach a decision and it sounds a good one. I hope all goes well. You sound very empathetic and I am sure the child involved feels very lucky to have been able to explain how they feel and that you have listened and taken them seriously. It’s great you have a solution that works for both of you to lay this clearly loved pet to rest. Best wishes to you both.

Definitely don't do a flowerpot burial, I doubt you could bury the pet deep enough and the smell would attract foxes.
I've always buried my cats in the garden as I wanted to keep them close, but I did dig quite deep holes, and placed a paving slab on top each time, until the earth settled.
I've never had a problem with foxes.
If you can't bury them directly in the garden I would go for cremation.

I am anxious that I won't be able to dig deep enough in the lawn for a burial.

I think it may be too late now. I paid a fortune for a huge pot planter. I won't bek able to go again and pay the same type of money out on a cremation.

The pot planter I have is 90cm tall.

It won't be put into the ground. I should be able to bury my pet around the half way mark perhaps. It would be deep enough to prevent other animals digging in the pot.

My pet hasn't passed yet. So maybe I could still go for cremation and plant the ashes but I don't think I will do it this way.

I cremate and keep the ashes. They’ll be buried with me.

Unless you want the giant pot for other reasons you don’t need that large a container to bury a hamster.

A pot about 30cm tall would be more than big enough.

We recently buried our guinea pig in a pot. It worked really well tbh. Pot cost about £40, plus about £5 compost. I put a couple of slates on top for a few weeks to stop any digging animals as well.
There was no smell or fluids from such a small animal and I find it much more comforting than the thought of getting a scoop of ashes from a bunch of random animals.

I know I have a small pet however 30cm would be too small and low. It will likely only encourage other animals to sniff and dig perhaps. I definitely don't feel comfortable with a 30cm pot.

I already bought a planter and waiting for delivery. It is 90cm tall. If I get any more hamsters they can go in the same pot perhaps.

I am sorry to read about the loss of your pet. Thank you for sharing your experience with a pot burial.

I think I have loads of slates in the back yard so I will get some out to use as a lid. I would like to use a lid for the first few weeks and months to keep the soil dry while the body decomposes.