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Original poster

Nany not replied to job offer - I need to re advertise don’t I?

34 replies

Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 18:50

We met the perfect Nanny, I couldn’t imagine it being anyone else but her. We were unsure about start date as not sure if having to take on annual leave to maternity leave or not and still no answer. So there was 2 options for starting.

There was a while between their last visit and us messaging saying we would love them to be our Nanny. They’ve read it and not replied 2 days later. They’ve gone with someone else haven’t they who can start a month earlier.

Do I message again saying we could do one day a week for a month before they start whilst still on leave? Or just leave it if they haven’t replied. Do I repost my advert as it’s getting super close now or if they’ve undecided and they see we’ve re advertise they might be on the fence?

Bollocks. She made me feel really at ease and comfortable with the process.

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 18/10/2025 18:51

There was a while between their last visit and us messaging saying we would love them to be our Nanny.

How long is a while?

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 18/10/2025 18:53

Id send another message asking for an update on whether they want to accept but yes be prepared to re advertise.

notatinydancer · 18/10/2025 18:55

You could call them ???

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Original poster
Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 18:55

10 days I think. Had replied to a question and asked one, but I was still waiting on a reply from work and didn’t want to just post questions for the sake of it. Regret not just asking before either way

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 18/10/2025 18:58

I think 10 days of silence will make it seem like you went for another option and she's the back up.

It would have been far better manners to message saying you wanted them to be your nanny and that you were still waiting for a confirmed start date.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/10/2025 19:03

Why didn’t you let her know you wanted her and that you’d confirm the start date asap? She’s likely gone with someone else

FanofLeaves · 18/10/2025 19:24

I’m a nanny and if I thought it was getting close to the offer of a job, I wouldn’t expect to wait ten days to hear from you- I think that’s the issue. Things can move fast and experienced Nannies are wary of getting messed around and working for flaky families. The interim between her visiting and you confirming or communicating properly was too long and she’s got cold feet.

Gazelda · 18/10/2025 19:31

I think it was rude of you to be silent for 10 days. I’m afraid you’re right - you need to re-advertise.

Gazelda · 18/10/2025 19:33

I wouldn’t leave it though. Message her again, or call her. Apologise for not being in touch sooner. Tell her how much you liked her and saw her as a wonderful fit for your family. What have you got to lose?

Original poster
Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 22:06

You are all right, we’ve come across terrible and not like someone you would want to work for. I wanted to message her but DH said we shouldn’t until we knew the start date, but I thought we should have messaged to say we would like her etc, and we were still waiting on the start date. baby has been ill and referred to paeds as urgent and not getting enough sleep and back and forth to the GP so I didn’t realise how much time had passed. We thought it would be long term as well for 3/4 years, agreed with all her additional terms etc.
There was definitely no other person we were considering.

But agree we’ve been idiots and she’s gone with someone else and don’t look like good employers. I had been doing my best about learning about being an employer/paying pension etc. Will apply to the local nursery and start looking again. I will message her again tomorrow apologising, I don’t feel calling would go down well if it’s a no. And then I’ll repost an advert on Monday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 22:08

I had an old advert up I hadn’t looked at in a long time under a different name and she did message that one 2 days after my last message, so I think that’s my answer that it is a no. And nothing I say or offer with job terms now is going to change that is it, bollocks. She was amazing.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 18/10/2025 22:11

She might not have accepted anyway. It sounds like you don’t need to her to start for a while and if she was in between jobs she’d take one that started straight away.

Re advertise. Find someone good and set your start date based on when they can start.

Original poster
Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 22:17

Just looked back and it was 5 days from her last message to me asking her to be oir Nanny. We said at the interview there was a possibility the start date was 6 weeks later, but we’d do a day a week to cover that as ease in time. She was aware of that and still replied to messages after that. But appreciate if she’s seen the message and not immediately replied great/let’s start on the contract, then it’s a no isn’t it. But entirely our fault and we’ll know what to do next time.

I do have about 15 people that replied to the original advert, but we didn’t act on it at the time as circumstances changed and we wanted to wait until we were sure what days were needed to not mess people around, so didn’t interview anyone. So will start contacting them tomorrow I guess. None of them stood out like she did.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 18/10/2025 22:36

Ok, so five days isn’t a hugely long time. She may have interviewed with a few families and been offered in the interim. Perhaps for someone who needed someone to start straight away which suits her better.

But, you don’t know either way so just call her on Monday. Stop spinning out. You don’t know yet.

Set up some interviews with the other applicants. It’s sensible to do so. Have you recruited at work? It’s not normal to pick one person based on their cv and only interview that person. You can’t discount them all without meeting them surely.

Original poster
Bolliocks · 18/10/2025 22:53

Never recruited at work. Giant organisation not involved in.
Agree need to stop spinning. Maybe someone else will be an even better fit for us. Agree she’s probably found someone with no gap

OP posts:
CrimsonStoat · 18/10/2025 23:02

You sound very flaky! First you thought it was ten days, then it was five. People contacted you when you advertised but then you didn’t know when you wanted them. You interviewed her, then it might be six weeks till you needed her. She even replied to an old advert that you hadn't taken down.

Get everything sorted first in your mind, write it down, then advertise and have a clear start date to offer.

CypressGrove · 18/10/2025 23:07

Why do you have a second ad up in a different name?

Brainstorm23 · 18/10/2025 23:13

I don't understand why if you think she's so perfect you don't pick up the phone and ring her. I'm as loath to use the phone unnecessarily as most people these days but your stance seems utterly bizarre. Just call her!

RedwallMattimeo · 18/10/2025 23:45

if you’re about to employ a nanny, it’s important to understand that it’s a really personal relationship - they will be in your house and looking after your child - but also has to be professional. You also have to accept that, unless you’re in London, they are often lower earners and so the number of hours you offer and helping them have go from one job to another without a gap can be as important as the hourly rate.
In this situation, you met the perfect candidate, left it five or ten days before telling her this and then expected her to survive on one day’s work a week for 6 weeks. No wonder she didn’t think you were serious. If you were her, would you have hung around waiting for this job?

Hoodlumboodlum · 19/10/2025 06:43

I don't understand your reluctance to pick up the phone and call her.

DoThePropeller · 19/10/2025 06:53

I agree with PP, this waiting six weeks until start date is an issue for someone not currently working. If you find the perfect person, start them sooner, it is worth the investment. You can get some sleep, they can shadow you until you are back to work.

Ooodelally · 19/10/2025 07:15

What was her response to the ‘one day a week for six weeks’ offer? I’d think most people would struggle to be out of full time work for a month and a half? Or was she giving notice to another family for some of that?

FanofLeaves · 19/10/2025 07:23

I keep seeing nanny jobs like that. ‘Just one day a week initially to get my baby used to another person before I go back to work…’ I don’t know how they think we make a living.

MayaPinion · 19/10/2025 07:25

I’d be expecting to start work a lot sooner than 6 weeks unless I was still with another family. Good nannies are like gold dust and if you want one you need to be ready to move quickly to lock them down.

Original poster
Bolliocks · 19/10/2025 10:24

I appreciate we got this all wrong. She is still working for I think another 6 weeks with her current family.

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