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Original poster

17yr old DD wants to see DJ Kettama

42 replies

BastardtheCat · 15/10/2025 20:55

Kettama (who DD has never mentioned before) is in Bristol on Dec 4th.

DD is 17 (in upper 6th form) so some friends are already 18. She’s only just turned 17 (youngest in her year) and wants to go.

We are in West Wales so it would be a train up and back, more like that she’ll be catching a return home at between 4 and 5am after the rave. She’ll be with 5 other girls. She has a fake ID which looks a little like her (has used it to go to Swansea twice where I collected her at 1am) and the venue looks like it will be strict in terms of drug searches and sniffer dogs.

Would you allow your DD to go at this age? I’m the most boring parent in the world apparently for casting doubt on this.

OP posts:
BrainlessBoiledFrog · 15/10/2025 20:57

Nope!

fluffiphlox · 15/10/2025 20:59

Fake ID? Is that normal? I’m very old. (I was allowed at 17 to go from South Wales to Birmingham for an event but no fake ID).

FKAT · 15/10/2025 21:00

I wouldn't have a problem with the gig or any of that but I find it hard to believe there are trains at 5am to west wales. Premier Inn would be better.

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FKAT · 15/10/2025 21:01

I am also old and would be going to raves on the welsh border at that age and I wouldn't be discussing it with my mother or asking permission. No fake id needed back then though.

EffinMagicFairy · 15/10/2025 21:01

What happens if her fake ID doesn’t get her in? My concerns here would be her friends won’t want to miss out and leave her outside on her own.

Beedeeoh · 15/10/2025 21:02

fluffiphlox · 15/10/2025 20:59

Fake ID? Is that normal? I’m very old. (I was allowed at 17 to go from South Wales to Birmingham for an event but no fake ID).

We all had them when I was 17 (also a long time ago!).

I wouldn't have any issues with the plan except for the fake id meaning she might be turned away, I'd want her to have a back up plan for that.

Original poster
BastardtheCat · 15/10/2025 21:13

Thanks everyone.
I was 19 heading to my first rave on the top of a cliff in the Gower so no ID needed.

Most youngsters (get me) are ID’d nowadays. She looks about 14 so despite getting into Swansea city venues, there’s a very real chance she’ll get stopped on the way in to this gig. I’m worried - it’s such a long way away. Tickets are approx £50!

Their plan was to catch the train to Swansea then rely on someone (me) to collect them from there. We’re in the back of beyond so nothing reaches here until much later.

OP posts:
Original poster
BastardtheCat · 15/10/2025 21:14

She’s so bloody impressionable though and desperate for freedom 😫

OP posts:
Confusedmumofteen · 15/10/2025 21:18

Acceptable ID is listed as passport or driving licence. Does she have a passable version of either?

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 15/10/2025 21:44

I know that teenagers use fake ID and it's been a thing for many years.

I was always under the illusion they used fake ID without their parents knowledge and consent because they were using it to do something they are not legally allowed to do .

I'm actually shocked OP that you are happy for her to use fake ID and that you are complicit in her doing so.

Leeds2 · 15/10/2025 21:52

Sorry if I'm a bit slow, but what does she need the ID for? To actually get into the venue, or to buy alcohol whilst she is in there?

Pedallleur · 15/10/2025 22:06

Apparently it's 5th December at Document. So I'll guess it's 18s and over

Confusedmumofteen · 15/10/2025 22:11

Pedallleur · 15/10/2025 22:06

Apparently it's 5th December at Document. So I'll guess it's 18s and over

It's strictly over 18s according to the website for tickets.

Mum4MrA · 15/10/2025 22:13

I don’t think I would be happy due to the distance/transport and the fact that her friends will have legitimate ID unlike her, so she runs the real risk of not being allowed in and being left outside alone. I think that makes her particularly vulnerable.

Megifer · 15/10/2025 22:22

How has she got hold of a fake passport or driving licence? 😱

mamagogo1 · 15/10/2025 22:37

There’s no trains that early west bound. Best bet is to go to the bus station for national express because it’s busy at that time with all the youngsters waiting for the first regional buses of the day plus national express run night buses. I would not have condoned this gig myself but I know dd snuck into all kinds of places before 18 at boarding school, there was a hole in the fence!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/10/2025 22:51

I would encourage them to get a hotel room and perhaps that’s her Xmas present? So you know she has somewhere safe to go to if she doesn’t get in or if she wants to leave early

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/10/2025 22:53

I would possibly also go there myself and collect her (if you don’t have other kids to care for) and take her back to a hotel with me. I am a softie but I would be so torn between not wanting them to miss out but also wanting to be there as a safety net!

louderthan · 15/10/2025 22:58

I think it’s very risky to go that far and hope to get in with fake ID. What if she doesn’t get in?

Original poster
BastardtheCat · 16/10/2025 05:59

Thanks everyone for your input. She’s lulled into a false sense of security because of the two times I’ve allowed her to go into the city with friends. I feel that there’s a very real chance she’ll get stopped and won’t get in and then what? At £50 a ticket, her friends will want to go in.

Like someone pointed out, her friends are 18 so have legitimate ID. Hers is a drivers license from a friend that she vaguely looks like.

I think I’ll stick to saying No. Allowing her to start going out at our local city with close friends and me collecting her at 1 is a far cry to an event in Bristol with tight security and no plan B.

OP posts:
Donotgogentle · 16/10/2025 06:20

But op, she’s Year 13 and nearly an adult! Why would you think it’s ok to say no to her or think she cannot make her own decision?

Lots of 17 year old go inter railing for example. Is she going to uni next year?

She definitely needs a plan for what happens if she’s denied entry though.

Donotgogentle · 16/10/2025 06:22

Re the fake ID. I saw a mother out with her DS recently in London. He had a fake ID and the doorman blocked him, v embarrassing.

spoonbillstretford · 16/10/2025 06:29

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 15/10/2025 21:44

I know that teenagers use fake ID and it's been a thing for many years.

I was always under the illusion they used fake ID without their parents knowledge and consent because they were using it to do something they are not legally allowed to do .

I'm actually shocked OP that you are happy for her to use fake ID and that you are complicit in her doing so.

Meh. I had a fake NUS card 30 years ago, the only thing we used it for was to go out to the student union bar which was a far safer space at 16/17 than any pubs and clubs. DM would pick us up at 11.30pm. It was like going out with your training wheels on.

I would at least make a plan for the ID not being accepted.

TheaBrandt1 · 16/10/2025 06:35

God did none of you go clubbing at 17? I wasn’t the coolest teenager in the world but even I did that.

My concern would be the distance the getting back and the risk of not getting in. But a flat “no” is harsh. I would want a contingency plan if she doesn’t get in.

She’s 17 and very nearly an adult not 12.. If they are in an established friendship group and are broadly sensible it should be fine.

TheBlueHotel · 16/10/2025 06:38

I have a DS the same age - I'm happy for him to travel to gigs and come back late (with a group of friends) but not to an over 18 event when he's relying on fake ID to get in. Just no.