Living with a music snob

[LittleBe]

DD (6) has just discovered the KPop Demon Hunters music. We haven’t watched the film, we don’t have Netflix. But all her friends at school are singing it. She has been happily singing and dancing along for about a week.

This evening she asked me to put on Golden so she could do a show for DH.

Cue his comments of do you call this music, what happened to music, where did it all go wrong etc etc.

DH is a passionate rock guitarist and only listens to music from pre-2000 with a very few exceptions.

I partially agree with him, that music used to be better with raw talent. But modern day music still has talent involved, even if it is driven by the music industry and money. And Golden is a bop, it’s been in my head constantly.

Tonight‘s episode has made me view him as a snob. Would you agree? Or is modern music more about money than art?

Firstly, your DH is a twat for not fully supporting DD’s show whether she’s singing opera, Metallica or themes from Frozen.

Secondly, music is in the ear of the beholder. I like ancient stuff, old stuff, new stuff. It’s no one else’s business

She's 6!

It's the same with books and food and lots of things. Kids like lightweight stuff, easily digested crap stuff. Just keep exposing them to the good stuff and they'll get there in the end.

I think this a phenomenon called "Getting old".

He’s not a snob. He’s a joyless knob around his six year old child.

My father adored a genre of music and taught it to me, passed me his vinyl LPs, played for me after school.

He didn’t mock Slade 😁

I had a friend at school who was a terrible music snob and superior about it. It was very annoying.

what’s worse though is your DH Negging your 6 yo child’s attempt to impress him completely the wrong approach it should be How Wonderful Darling! And praise. Not a teenager response

I think he has the perfect opportunity for sharing good quality music with his daughter, and helping her develop a musical awareness that can hopefully be a source of great joy in her life. I wouldn't deride the populist stuff, just provide loads of quality that puts it in perspective, as she matures.

Nothing is less rock ‘n roll than thinking that your ‘era’ had the best music. How uncool.

I'm astonished that it's his music snobbery that's bothering you. Superciliously bemoaning the state of modern music maybe a bit annoying but it has been a normal pastime for middle-aged muso wannabes forever.

What would be bothering me would be the sneery and dismissive way he reacted to his 6 (6!) year-old daughter's performance. What an arsehole. She's 6 fgs.

He should be encouraging his child's love of music and performing.

He isn't doing that, he's criticising her and that makes him an arsehole.

What a monumental twat.

Lots of your post is like it's written in a foreign language tbh & I have NO idea what 'Golden' is. But no matter what a 6 year old is doing/using to perform a concert they should receive positive support from their parents & then gentle encouragement of more quality material over time/if necessary.

I’d add that back in the day when Top of the Pops was on, my Dad would sit aghast at the ‘crap’ he was watching. But we could also enjoy music together.
My kids loved all sorts of weird stuff, not always to my taste. But rather than totally deride it, I’d listen to some of it before deciding it wasn’t for me. Likewise, they adore some of my all time fave tracks from the 70s.
your DH is missing out on what could be a beautiful shared experience with your DD because he’s built himself into a cage.
I’m a rock chick at heart but does he seriously think nothing good has been written post 2000? He’s also missing out on new stuff.

Music isn’t better pre 2000s, there is raw talent now, you’re just getting old. That is it.

Your husband is a dick for being a music snob, my parents were like this and used to make me feel inferior for liking pop music and I used to pretend I liked ‘cool’ music just to please them.

Music taste is about what you like. Your husband isn’t superior to someone who likes to listen to S Club 7 or Taylor Swift and he needs to accept that his child is her own person and should be allowed to happily listen to what she wants to.

Yes his criticism during DDs show got to me the most. Next school year she‘ll be old enough to join the dance club. I told DH it is likely they could dance to this song or one like it, and he should encourage her even if he doesn’t like the music.

He often plays her the music he likes but she finds it boring. There is definitely value in passing on music traditions, my parents did the same for
me. But they also let me be a child and accepted the trends and modern stuff I liked too.

She's 6 he should have humoured the wee girl obviously she's going to be into stuff her age group are into and marketed too.
Dad wants to stop trying to create a mini me.
And this is coming from someone who only likes one genre of music.

He’s entitled to be a music snob, and he’s absolutely correct. Today’s ‘track & hook’ pop music really is formulaic, manufactured rubbish. Devoid of originality, songwriting, creativity or musicianship.

But he’s being an arse applying his musical snobbery to a six year old child. Let her enjoy her K-pop, but also let her hear some of the good stuff as she grows up so she comes to understand & appreciate the difference.

You know that’s exactly what middle aged music snobs were saying about the music you liked in your youth right?

He's a big No Fun Zone. Golden is a fantastic song.

I have no time for people who think modern music isn't as good as old stuff. Life is too short to stick to old stuff.

That's not great OP, I'm not surprised you're pissed off. Tone counts for a lot here though - were his comments good humoured (albeit ill judged, given the age of your DD) or was he genuinely critical or mocking? I'd really struggle to get past the latter and he should take a good look at himself if he thinks asserting his own musical righteousness takes priority over his daughter's confidence.

Today’s ‘track & hook’ pop music really is formulaic, manufactured rubbish.

I assume Stock Aitken Waterman completely passed you by?

He must be pretty joyless if he can't see the appeal to children of K Pop. 'Passionate Rock Guitarist'. I note you didn't say talented or professional. 🤔😂

If he was that good he wouldn't feel the need to slag off different genres. It sucks to be so narrow minded that you only listen to 'rock' from the 90s or earlier.

He's just a bog standard tedious prick.
He can't let people enjoy things without trying to show off how superior he is.

So, as an update- DH came to me and apologised. I asked him what his dad would have thought of Guns n Roses had he played them to him when he was a teen.

He then went and asked DD about Golden again and she said she loves it. She put on her show again and he cheered and clapped.

Quite surprised at his turn around but not complaining.

(for the poster who asked- he‘s a professional guitar player who makes money from his talent, which in some ways for me make it worse how he criticised DDs enjoyment of a KPop song).

Glad he saw the error of his ways.
Cue a happy 6yr old.❤️👍

Can see where he is coming from (to a point) it is usually only when I look back in retrospect that I appreciate a decade. I was a teenager in the 1990's but was obsessed with 60's and 70's music. It is only now I realise how good the 90's was, and how much talent there was, even though I liked it the first time around. I think showing an interest in our childrens music taste is a good thing because we can find out about artists we wouldn't ordinarily seek out.

Just read the update 👍