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Original poster

“Bedroom kids raising living room kids”

49 replies

Flipitnreverseit · 14/10/2025 11:58

I was a bedroom kid, I just assumed that was the norm?

When I became a parent we ended up with a kallax full of toys in the front room, was fine for when they were babies/toddlers and didn’t want them being upstairs on their own for long periods. But they’re 3.5 and nearly 6 now, and for the last few years we’ve had the front room covered in toys constantly. I’d ask them to tidy up, but the second they had finished tidying they were getting something else out to play with and just making mess again.

I recently had enough. I would like at least the downstairs of my house to be a nice, peaceful and visitor ready space. I just want to look at toys on the floor all day every day. So I packed up all their toys and took them up to their rooms. They have books on the bookshelf downstairs, they get an hour of telly after school/nursery while I do dinner and then it’s time to wind down for bedtime.

I’m not saying they can’t bring a couple toys down and play with them, then take them back up when they’re done.. I think.. but is there anything actually wrong with kids playing in their bedroom? The post makes me feel a bit shamed but it’s not like I can go off to my bedroom like a teenager and sit in my bedroom just for some mess free peace 🤣

I also don’t ship them off to their bedrooms and not let them down. They’re just encouraged to go and play upstairs if they want to get a load of toys and stuff out.

I was going to post in AIBU but they’re brutal over there.. I’m just looking for other people opinions rather than judgment 🤣

Do you keep lots of toys downstairs for your kids?

PS. This may differ for only children, I’m guessing they don’t want to just play alone upstairs, my two will often play in one of their rooms, or visit eachother every few minutes 🤣

“Bedroom kids raising living room kids”
OP posts:
kersh33 · 14/10/2025 12:06

I live in a flat so maybe a bit different but apart from stuffed toys which she can play with on the sofa and games and puzzles we play with together on tbe dining room table, my daughter has always played in her room. But perhaps it’s easier as I could easily go in and out so she never got used to playing in the lounge so I could keep an eye on her.

weareallcats · 14/10/2025 12:10

My dc are teens now but yes, we had their toys and books all over the place and I liked to have them around me so I could see what they were up to. We still all hang out together most of the time, games consoles are in family spaces and no phones/laptops are allowed in bedrooms - they do homework in the study or at the kitchen table. No one really spends any non-sleeping time in their bedrooms. I think we are a bit extreme in the other direction though.

Edited to add that they are allowed to go to their rooms if they want to quiet or privacy - we don’t force them to stay downstairs - but they rarely choose to.

YellowHatt · 14/10/2025 12:12

We do a toy rotation. So there are toys in the living room but not an excessive amount. These get swapped out every few of weeks.

When you say visitor ready: it makes me happy, as a visitor, to see well cared for and played with children’s toys out and about in other people’s homes.

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Families
Original poster
Flipitnreverseit · 14/10/2025 12:18

YellowHatt · 14/10/2025 12:12

We do a toy rotation. So there are toys in the living room but not an excessive amount. These get swapped out every few of weeks.

When you say visitor ready: it makes me happy, as a visitor, to see well cared for and played with children’s toys out and about in other people’s homes.

Yes we did a toy rotation for a long time too. But they seem to never just want one thing out.. always things that have lots of pieces, or multiple toys just strewn across the floor.

I don’t mind people seeing toys out when they visit, but maybe it’s just my kids that can’t play with just one thing so it’s a bit extreme 🤣

OP posts:
MuggleMe · 14/10/2025 12:22

When my youngest got to about 5/6 my girls definitely moved to bedrooms voluntarily. I think you need to accept the chaos for a bit longer.

ShenandoahRiver · 14/10/2025 12:22

Mine had toys, games, lego all over the floor until the youngest was about 7 or 8. I think 3.5 is very young to be playing in a bedroom. But if it works for your family then that is what matters.

Irenesortof · 14/10/2025 12:24

Do what you need to do, OP, the children can fit in with it. It's not child abuse to provide a space to scatter toys upstairs alongside a welcome downstairs if they want to chat or play with you.

katmarie · 14/10/2025 12:26

We have some toys which are always bedroom toys (bigger, bulkier things like the sylvanian family houses), some that are always living room toys, like craft stuff which is done at the dining table, and their Nintendo DS's, which need supervision to limit their time on them. Some things float between the two like the endless lego, and some of the board games. My kids are 5 and 7. I've resigned myself to not having a pristine living room for a while yet, but I do occasionally send them upstairs to play to give me a bit of peace and quiet.

Original poster
Flipitnreverseit · 14/10/2025 12:29

katmarie · 14/10/2025 12:26

We have some toys which are always bedroom toys (bigger, bulkier things like the sylvanian family houses), some that are always living room toys, like craft stuff which is done at the dining table, and their Nintendo DS's, which need supervision to limit their time on them. Some things float between the two like the endless lego, and some of the board games. My kids are 5 and 7. I've resigned myself to not having a pristine living room for a while yet, but I do occasionally send them upstairs to play to give me a bit of peace and quiet.

Yes this is very much us now. They have IPads downstairs but aren’t all that interested in them tbh. Arts and crafts like you are done to the table.. and Lego comes out occasionally or a board game that we all do together in the front room on the carpet. That I don’t mind at all.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 14/10/2025 12:32

We had the opposite.

they shared a bedroom and it was pretty small.

so the living room was where the toys were and where they played.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 14/10/2025 12:32

Our most frequent visitors are kids, and their attendant parents. So it makes sense for the toys to be out!

That said, my son is 2, and I tend to run the house tidying on the rule of "nothing with lots of bits" during the working week. Fri-Sun is open season, then Monday is my day with him and we tidy up together ready for the week.

DingDongJingle · 14/10/2025 12:32

Bit of both really. We have a playroom so all bulkier toys are in there, but they still bring them into the living room to actually play! My older two have only really started spending more time in their bedrooms recently (at 12 and 10), and the 6 year old is always downstairs with me as he’s disabled. Crafts etc are in a sideboard in the dining room as they’re done at the table. So really we just have toys everywhere 😂. It doesn’t bother me though, my house is warm and clean and welcoming and I think it’s weird to think that a house with kids in shouldn’t look like a house with kids in.

minipie · 14/10/2025 12:32

We had a spare bedroom so tried having an upstairs playroom from age about 4 and 6. Result was me constantly running upstairs to referee a dispute about toys. It worked better when they were 6 and 8. But by then they were less into toys and more into arts and crafts (downstairs due to mess) and garden games.

Honestly I think 3.5 is too young to be expected to play upstairs unless you are going to go up there with him.

ilovebagpuss · 14/10/2025 12:42

Mine love their bedrooms some NDnso they need safe space to chill after school/college. Doesn't mean they never come down and play a game or watch a film or just chill with us.
When they were younger it was a mix of toys in the living room and toys in their bedroom time. I think the current conversation is more around kids that were more shut away out of sight for long periods.

GiantTeddyIsTired · 14/10/2025 12:44

When they were younger, we had a bedroom and a playroom, which when they hit nearly teens became 2 bedrooms. I liked it this way as there were some bigger 'shared' toys and it meant that they could play with those together without them having to be downstairs, plus it seemed sensible from a sleep hygiene point of view (and we'd co-slept, so they slept better with someone else in the room anyway)

Otherwise it was a bit like you - toys in the living room when they were very little, then toys in the bedrooms as they got that bit older.

Hmmmmwineandchocs · 14/10/2025 12:52

We have lego downstairs and board games plus her toy kitchen and crafts
barbies/teddies/magic mixies all
live in her room where she plays a lot. She can bring toys downstairs but on the understanding she takes them back up.
Been this way since she was about 5

Snugglemonkey · 14/10/2025 12:56

I think the wee one is a bit young really. I would much prefer someone that age close. We do have a playroom though, so it is easier for me to have them closer. Still often toys in the lounge though!

MumoftwoNC · 14/10/2025 12:56

I used to feel bad that other people's houses are tidier than ours, but now I actually feel differently because I like being able to cook while the kids play nearby.

Also, if toys and crafts are in the living room that actually reduces TV time, because there are other options nearby.

When I think of the families I know (not a big sample size tbf), the ones with very tidy houses don't actually have better behaved or more respectful kids. I can't explain the cause-effect mechanism for that, but that's what I've found.

MumoftwoNC · 14/10/2025 13:00

So in our house, most toys and crafts, and the TV, are in the living room. The bedroom has mostly just the books and clothes.

Tbf my oldest is 5, so that might change, but I don't think it will. Playing with toys and games, and watching TV, should be communal activities ideally imo. Reading is more a single activity so that happens in the bedroom.

I know it's too early to say this but when mine are teens, I want to try to keep games consoles in the living room.

AudHvamm · 14/10/2025 13:01

We also live in a flat so easier to move between rooms, but I try to limit the toys kept in the living room to Duplo/lego, books, playdough and, increasingly, board games. The idea being these are shared activities for a 5yo. Anything else is in her room. It sort of works, but tbh I think the real key is getting the whole family on board with tidy up time before bed. My DD does it but DH or I remind and help her every evening for 10 mins and that has made the biggest difference. Everything goes back in its boxes/shelves and teddies etc go back to her room.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 14/10/2025 13:05

Kids have free roam of their own home.... they can be anywhere they like... it's their house too.

YellowTigerTail · 14/10/2025 13:13

I opened this thread expecting it to be about teens, but they are 3 and 6! Let then be little children for a few years more before you banish them to their rooms.
They will start moving stuff to their rooms in time, but for now if they want to play in the family space, let them. It must be annoying for them to constantly have to traipse upstairs to get the toys they want to play with.

YellowHatt · 14/10/2025 13:16

Honestly I think you’re treating them older than they are. iPads and being alone in their rooms upstairs is something I’d expect of much older children than 3 and 5.

crazeekat · 14/10/2025 13:22

My girls stuff been upstairs for ages now, 13 and 8, but literally not had toys downstairs since little one was about 5, unless obv they are getting played with then they are upstairs as soon as they are done. Exceptions are paint and play doe, there’s a cupboard in the kitchen for all this stuff. And it’s done in the kitchen. The age gap I have is 13 yr old has a small single bedroom who doesn’t use so much toys any more but loads of hair snd make up stuff that she is into. and the 8 year has heaps of toys all in her room. Both have bookshelves. So she has the big room to utilise play. boardgames come down the livingroom for family time but put away again upstairs when finished.nothing gets left downstairs if not getting played with. Sounds miserable (it’s not really ) but If I didn’t do this and wasn’t so strict toys would be everywhere constantly and never tidied away unless it was me doing it so I’m choosing my battles and this one I’m winning.

ApricotCheesecake · 14/10/2025 13:26

I think they're a bit young to play upstairs without you. Mine are older now but they would have wanted to be near me at that age.