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Original poster

Christmas Day plan help!

50 replies

BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 05:28

Hopefully this isn't really a Christmas topic because it's more a single parent question.

This year our usual Christmas day plans have fallen through and I don't know what to do to please everyone and could do with some alternative thoughts

One DD, 15, hates being an only child. Really hates it at Christmas. One dog.
Two married elderly grandparents. Live 5 mins away.
One single elderly grandparent. One dog. Lives two hours away

DD does not want to spend it at home.
3 grandparents happy to spend day together but not host each other.

No-one particular cares about turkey dinners.

It's just becoming a lot of stress which is annoying because it's just a day.

OP posts:
NotThisBollocksAgain · 08/10/2025 06:05

Breakfast at one grandparents house and afternoon nibbles at the other grandparents house? Long dog walk inbetween.

NotThisBollocksAgain · 08/10/2025 06:08

Oops, too early! I missed that one grandparent is two hours away! I suppose the best option is to spend the day with the close grandparents and head over to the long distant grandparent on boxing day, can the dog go with you?

ThejoyofNC · 08/10/2025 06:11

Does DD want a "traditional" Christmas day?

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Events & celebrations
Original poster
BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 06:46

ThejoyofNC · 08/10/2025 06:11

Does DD want a "traditional" Christmas day?

Not particularly. She loves the whole ideal Christmas but we won't have that this year so I think it might be better to go completely opposite

OP posts:
Original poster
BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 06:46

NotThisBollocksAgain · 08/10/2025 06:08

Oops, too early! I missed that one grandparent is two hours away! I suppose the best option is to spend the day with the close grandparents and head over to the long distant grandparent on boxing day, can the dog go with you?

Yes she can but I just don't feel great about grandparent being on their own on Christmas Day.

OP posts:
BadActingParsley · 08/10/2025 07:06

A Chinese meal or Indian meal somewhere in the middle? Dogs in car for meal then dog walk? Or dog friendly restaurant…

how do the dogs factor in? Can they be left at home for a bit?

Musicaltheatremum · 08/10/2025 08:17

Move the single grandparents Christmas day to boxing day. We did this with my family. Christmas day(workers in family so had to travel back down south on boxing day)with my family and visited my FIL on boxing day.
Its probably no worse being alone on Christmas day rather than boxing day. It's a frame if mind and the boxing day GP still has it to look forward to after everyone else has done their day.

FusionChefGeoff · 08/10/2025 08:39

Do you have any budget? Could you book a holiday home somewhere for everyone for a couple of nights?? Or even a hotel stay?!

Original poster
BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 08:51

Musicaltheatremum · 08/10/2025 08:17

Move the single grandparents Christmas day to boxing day. We did this with my family. Christmas day(workers in family so had to travel back down south on boxing day)with my family and visited my FIL on boxing day.
Its probably no worse being alone on Christmas day rather than boxing day. It's a frame if mind and the boxing day GP still has it to look forward to after everyone else has done their day.

I disagree with that I think. Boxing Day there's loads to do. Shops are open, there's football, people meet with friends. There's something very very lonely about being alone on Christmas day.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 08:53

FusionChefGeoff · 08/10/2025 08:39

Do you have any budget? Could you book a holiday home somewhere for everyone for a couple of nights?? Or even a hotel stay?!

Probably not for everyone, but It could form part of the solution.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 08/10/2025 09:04

So basically DD wants to be not at home, you want all grandparents spend Christmas day with you and none of grandparents want to host?

could any of grandparents agree to let you host in their house if it’s practical ? you can come dressed up and do a picnic style Christmas in their living room.
The other option is a cottage renting as PPs mentioned: fireplace, Christmas tree, country walk.
Around here lots of pubs do Christmas lunch but it’s quite expensive so not sure if it’s suitable.

Also if budget is an issue maybe it’s a chance to explain this to DD gently.

Firstshoes · 08/10/2025 09:14

We've booked a lodge in the woods with a hot tub for Christmas. It's a gorgeous place. We've been there a few times before but they're usually fully booked but we managed to grab one this year. They put a tree and lights up for you. We plan to be drinking our Christmas morning Bucks Fizz in the hot tub watching the squirrels this year. I think getting away may be a good solution for you if you can find something available

Hfiajfbdoflv · 08/10/2025 09:29

Agree you should try and go away somewhere. If I was in your position on Christmas Day I would try and set a new tradition. Like climbing a mountain on Christmas Day followed by a big dinner in a pub. Or there are local lidos (heated!) open here for a Christmas swim and run/bike ride.

I know that doesn’t solve the grandparent problem but I do think that grandparents need to take responsibility for themselves at Christmas and fit in with plans if they want to be involved (I know this sounds a bit mean but for example my DH is an only child. And his parents won’t be able to spend Christmas with us this year so they are sorting themselves a nice day together).

Original poster
BrooookeDavis · 08/10/2025 10:15

pizzaHeart · 08/10/2025 09:04

So basically DD wants to be not at home, you want all grandparents spend Christmas day with you and none of grandparents want to host?

could any of grandparents agree to let you host in their house if it’s practical ? you can come dressed up and do a picnic style Christmas in their living room.
The other option is a cottage renting as PPs mentioned: fireplace, Christmas tree, country walk.
Around here lots of pubs do Christmas lunch but it’s quite expensive so not sure if it’s suitable.

Also if budget is an issue maybe it’s a chance to explain this to DD gently.

Basically yes. It's not that grandparents don't want to host, it's just they are divorced (and one remarried) so happy to meet neutrally but not in their own home.

I think getting away even if it's just DD and me and they come visit is the best option. Agree with the new traditions!

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 08/10/2025 10:23

Book an Indian restaurant and ask if the grandparents want to join you! I gave up cooking the big Turkey dinners and we now have Chinese and I haven’t looked back! Quiet morning, lunch out and everyone back to yours for charades?

Mummykit96 · 08/10/2025 11:46

Book a curry house within a reasonable drive of the single grandparent and all meet there go unconventional

Emmz1510 · 08/10/2025 11:53

So am I right in understanding that the three grandparents will spend time together but neither wants to host?
Go out for Christmas dinner? Or can the dogs not be left alone for a few hours?
If that won’t work then either you host everyone and your DD will need to deal with it (they can’t always get to make all the decisions) or go to the grandparent that is on their own on Christmas Day and the other another day.

frenchvanillacoffee · 08/10/2025 11:53

This will be my first Xmas as a widow and I’m dreading it. Two DD one of whom has her bday over Xmas (so also have first bday without her dad to deal with).
anyway I felt like a new tradition / just doing something completely different was necessary so we’ve booked a cottage somewhere. My dad and sisters family will all be with us and we will stay there for a few days over Xmas.
not sure how it will be but I feel like we need to try something new. This year at least.
so as people have suggested - try something completely different this year and see how it goes.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 08/10/2025 12:00

Do you definitely have to/want to see the grandparents? If not and DD finds christmas tricky, you could go on holiday to somewhere that has nothing to do with christmas- get away completely, spend Christmas day on a beach, in a pool or at a theme park somewhere abroad?

KmcK87 · 08/10/2025 12:01

Grandparent that lives 2 hours away comes to stay with you and you all go out for dinner together?

Stompythedinosaur · 08/10/2025 12:03

Can you unpick the reason your dd doesn't want to be at home? You hosting seems the obvious option, and if her objection is about the day seeming too ordinary, you might be able to change that with how you schedule things.

Otherwise a meal at a half way point, or a couple of nights away if finances would allow for that.

Easterchicken · 08/10/2025 12:03

Go away somewhere busy where Christmas isn't the main focus

Maybe somewhere like New York as there is always something open despite the day due to the multi cultural makeup of the area

Or a little trip to somewhere warm so it's completely different to normal

JDM625 · 08/10/2025 12:07

Sorry if I missed this, but DD doesn't want to stay at home just with you, or doesn't want grandparents visiting there either?

Could you not host lunch for 1 set and an evening meal for the other?

Edited to say you can eat anything you want! We normally have a rib roast because I'm not a massive fan of turkey. I'd prefer to eat something we like.

youalright · 08/10/2025 12:12

What about meeting everyone at a restaurant/pub for Christmas dinner. Or just ask your daughter what exactly she wants

nhsmanagersanonymous · 08/10/2025 12:15

Is there budget to go away. Christmas in Italy with all?