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Original poster

How to cope with DH away - practical advice

40 replies

Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 20:11

Looking for some practical tips to help me get the through the next week.

DH is going on a trip related to his hobby for 7 days abroad. I am 32 weeks pregnant and suffering with horrendous pgp, I had it in my first pregnancy and have now been suffering since I was only 14 weeks. We also have an 18 month old who is clingy and obviously needs me to lift him a lot which really makes my pgp pain unbearable. Lastly I am working full time! So will need to do all nursery runs, cooking etc whilst DH is away.

What are the best practical tips to help me get through the week? I’m really dreading it and DH leaves in a few days. Work is very full on atm and I’m knackered!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 04/10/2025 20:17

Well I guess the obvious question is can't your DH postpone or reduce the length of his trip given the situation?

Frostynoman · 04/10/2025 20:19

Can you get a holiday nanny? (Can’t remember the companies that offer them)

Bigtreeesss · 04/10/2025 20:20

Practical tip #1 get a dh who cares about his family and you won’t be in this kind of situation again

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
seriouslysara · 04/10/2025 20:24

Can you get help? Have a mate come and do at least one bedtime with you so they can be your runner and second pair of hands? Any parents or in-laws that can come keep the show on the road?

Reduce your housekeeping to the absolute essentials (this is a good week to keep food basic), DH is in charge of absolutely everything before he goes (washing, cleaning, meal prep) and absolutely everything when he comes back (you lie on the sofa).

I’m trying to honour your request for practical advice but truthfully this sounds like a dreadful time to be left flying solo by DH, why is he doing this now and why hasn’t he left you with a support plan he’s helped create?!

TimetoGetUpNow · 04/10/2025 20:24

Very very selfish of DH.

You need to avoid lifting your toddler. If you list all the reasons you need to lift him we can help you come up with solutions. I had a similar age gap but no pgp. But my DC1 was massive so im sure I avoided lifting him in late pregnancy.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 04/10/2025 20:26

Can your toddler climb stairs yet?

Justwingingit2005 · 04/10/2025 20:26

I would leave anything non essential for a week.
Easy to prepare meals.
Couple of takeaways.
Bare minimum housework

TeenLifeMum · 04/10/2025 20:26

CBeebies is your friend plus occasional ready meals. Not ideal but it’s about survival.

MikeRafone · 04/10/2025 20:28

Get a M&S shop in with easy to cook food
go on babysitting website and get mothers help for the week
mught also be useful as when baby is born some extra paid help

DorothyStorm · 04/10/2025 20:29

MikeRafone · 04/10/2025 20:28

Get a M&S shop in with easy to cook food
go on babysitting website and get mothers help for the week
mught also be useful as when baby is born some extra paid help

Two good ideas.

your husband is bang out of order.

Engineeringdevelopment · 04/10/2025 20:31

When I had a C-section for DC2, DC1 was under 2. Health visitor suggested making kind of steps with low stool and blanket box so my toddler could climb onto my bed for cuddles without me needing to lift them up.

Original poster
Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 20:33

We do have a cleaner so don’t need to worry about housework, only making sure the house is tidy before she comes. My parents who are closest are actually on holiday at the moment or they would help! We don’t live in London so I don’t think a night nanny or similar is an option plus I only have a few days to sort it.

Main times lifting DS is in/out of the car, bath (he hates shower), cot, highchair and just any time he wants carrying which after nursery until bed is basically all the time! He can walk and climb the stairs although that has its own challenges…

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 04/10/2025 20:36

I’m currently 8 months pregnant, also have a clingy 18 month old so I get it, my top tips would be:

  • Set out a simple activity before bed to make the morning easier, something toddler can do straight away
  • Meal prep some super easy lunches/dinners, also slow cooker if you have one, to minimise on the day time spend cooking
  • If the bath is an issue, skip it every other night for the week, it won’t do any harm
  • Try to encourage holding hands rather than carrying, make it fun!

Good luck! X

sittingonabeach · 04/10/2025 20:37

Why did he think it was a good idea to go away?

Cymbalsimba · 04/10/2025 20:42

Sometimes one of the simple pleasures of a partner being away is lowering all standards so beans on toast for dinner, tv on, get ready for bed when your child does, cup of tea and chocolate and phone / tv in bed once they’re asleep, try and turn the light off an hour earlier than normal.
Albeit I’m sorry to hear you’re in pain!

Yellowrose225588 · 04/10/2025 20:44

My DH works away a fair bit. I agree with PPs he shouldn’t be going in the circumstances in my opinion (assume you are pregnant with his child). However practical suggestions as requested:

  1. DH to step up in advance. This should not be all on you, mine does these tasks in advance and he is travelling for work not hobby
  2. DH to cook multiple meals that are easily reheated and put them in the freezer
  3. DH to arrange a food shop arriving the day before he leaves, so you have fresh milk and bread and don’t run out of loo roll
  4. DH to ensure car full of petrol before leaving
  5. DH to check nursery bag and make sure plenty of spare dry clothes
  6. DH to wash sheets and towels before going so you don’t have to worry about this
  7. DH to do extra laundry before going do that laundry basket is empty. And dry and put away.

essentially what works for us is front-load as much as possible and let him take the brunt of that, since you’re the one picking up the pieces while he’s away.

mine always brings me flowers after as well which helps.

pinkyredrose · 04/10/2025 20:46

Does he really have to go? Rather mean of him when you're going through so much.

Cymbalsimba · 04/10/2025 20:48

Yellowrose225588 · 04/10/2025 20:44

My DH works away a fair bit. I agree with PPs he shouldn’t be going in the circumstances in my opinion (assume you are pregnant with his child). However practical suggestions as requested:

  1. DH to step up in advance. This should not be all on you, mine does these tasks in advance and he is travelling for work not hobby
  2. DH to cook multiple meals that are easily reheated and put them in the freezer
  3. DH to arrange a food shop arriving the day before he leaves, so you have fresh milk and bread and don’t run out of loo roll
  4. DH to ensure car full of petrol before leaving
  5. DH to check nursery bag and make sure plenty of spare dry clothes
  6. DH to wash sheets and towels before going so you don’t have to worry about this
  7. DH to do extra laundry before going do that laundry basket is empty. And dry and put away.

essentially what works for us is front-load as much as possible and let him take the brunt of that, since you’re the one picking up the pieces while he’s away.

mine always brings me flowers after as well which helps.

That’s a good list.

Ally886 · 04/10/2025 20:55

Bigtreeesss · 04/10/2025 20:20

Practical tip #1 get a dh who cares about his family and you won’t be in this kind of situation again

Jesus that's a jump. My DH has to go away for 5 days every other month. I mean he would avoid the fortnight leading up to due date but what's the difference between away with work and away for a hobby?

For the record both involve evenings out for a drink or two

SilkAndSparklesForParties · 04/10/2025 21:08

OP, my tip is undoubtedly too late but stop allowing your toddler to expect to be picked up and carried all the time. I have always had back problems so never did it unless absolutely necessary: bath and car.

Goinggreymammy · 04/10/2025 21:10

Haven't read whole thread so apologies if these are repeating stuff..

  1. Food. Toddlers don't need much. Either batch cook 2 big pots of stuff now to do a week or give him pre prepared toddler meals. You can get take away or ready meals. Send shop bought lunch food with toddler to nursery.
  2. Lifting. I has 18m DD alone 5 days a week after my c-section on DS.
What kind of high chair do you have? We had one with no tray, so I taught Her how to climb up in and pushed it inti the table... she was a big girl eating at table with me. We took one side off Her cot (it converts to a city bed so this wasn't a safety issue) and had the open side against the wall. I could sit on a chair and pull it away from wall for her to get in and out, then push it back again when she was in. I changed Her on the floor or a couch. I think she was able to climb into Her car seat.
  1. You already have a cleaner so you don't have to worry about housework. Anyway 7 days isn't long to leave housework.
  1. Work. If it gets too much you could take a pregnancy related illness day?

Good luck. You can do this.

Original poster
Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 21:10

I did encourage him to go as realistically it will be worse when baby is here however at the time I didn’t appreciate how bad my pgp would get by this stage. I had DS overnight alone last weekend and could hardly walk the next day!

OP posts:
Namechange822 · 04/10/2025 21:14

Would it be feasible to send DS with DH? They get some nice bonding time before baby arrives and you get a break?

Original poster
Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 21:16

Namechange822 · 04/10/2025 21:14

Would it be feasible to send DS with DH? They get some nice bonding time before baby arrives and you get a break?

No definitely not! I think DH will be doing his hobby almost all day.

OP posts:
Namechange822 · 04/10/2025 21:16

That’s a shame.