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Original poster

How to cope with DH away - practical advice

40 replies

Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 20:11

Looking for some practical tips to help me get the through the next week.

DH is going on a trip related to his hobby for 7 days abroad. I am 32 weeks pregnant and suffering with horrendous pgp, I had it in my first pregnancy and have now been suffering since I was only 14 weeks. We also have an 18 month old who is clingy and obviously needs me to lift him a lot which really makes my pgp pain unbearable. Lastly I am working full time! So will need to do all nursery runs, cooking etc whilst DH is away.

What are the best practical tips to help me get through the week? I’m really dreading it and DH leaves in a few days. Work is very full on atm and I’m knackered!

OP posts:

Original poster

Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 21:17

It’s an extreme sport it’s not golf or cycling!

OP posts:

Endofyear · 04/10/2025 21:18

OP I would skip baths this week and wash little one with a bowl of warm soapy water and a flannel! Do a big food shop before DH goes, lots of easy/microwave meals. DH can do all the washing before he goes so you've got plenty of clean clothes. Plonk little one in front of cbeebies when necessary and don't feel bad about it! Finally, go to bed when little one does so you get plenty of rest. When DH gets back, let him take over for a few days so you can have a bit of time to yourself!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 04/10/2025 21:25

Husband had to go on a work trip to Toronto late on in my pregnancy too and I had a 2 year old

I literally picked her up at nursery near 6pm, got us home gave her a supper of toast or wheatbix each day and I ate a ready meal or pasta and jar sauce or frozen pizza and put her into bed and just went to sleep with her at 7.30 ! We got take out on the Friday night as a treat.

zero housework other than empty and refill dishwasher and we watched a lot of tv

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BlueberryPup · 04/10/2025 21:26

Are you friends with any parents from nursery who would be interested in carpooling for the week? Or just offer them petrol money to pick up and drop off your toddler? I certainly wouldn't mind helping out a friend for such a short amount of time!

LivingOnCoffee567 · 04/10/2025 21:30

I had really bad PGP from 15 weeks and a word of warning - the more you push it, the likelier that PGP sticks around for a long time after birth. You cause permanent damage by overdoing it. The joints are really unstable.

People don't take PGP seriously because for most pregnant women it comes very late in the pregnancy and it's uncomfortable for 4-5 week.

For me, it was actually debilitating, I needed crutches from 36 weeks and my "baby" is 13 months old and I still can't go for a walk around the block.

So i'd say DH doesn't go.

LivingOnCoffee567 · 04/10/2025 21:32

I do love how men can have hobbies that takes them away from their young families for long periods of time.

I have yet to meet a mother of a toddler and a newborn that absolutely must go away for A WEEK.

Original poster

Simplygreen · 04/10/2025 21:38

LivingOnCoffee567 · 04/10/2025 21:30

People don't take PGP seriously because for most pregnant women it comes very late in the pregnancy and it's uncomfortable for 4-5 week.

For me, it was actually debilitating, I needed crutches from 36 weeks and my "baby" is 13 months old and I still can't go for a walk around the block.

So i'd say DH doesn't go.

I do agree, I had it from 20 weeks last time and it had only just really resolved by 12 months post partum when I was pregnant again! I am trying to do less but do think it’s hard to get people to take it seriously.

OP posts:

Bigtreeesss · 04/10/2025 22:00

Ally886 · 04/10/2025 20:55

Jesus that's a jump. My DH has to go away for 5 days every other month. I mean he would avoid the fortnight leading up to due date but what's the difference between away with work and away for a hobby?

For the record both involve evenings out for a drink or two

Show quote history

What’s the difference between a dh having to take an unavoidable work trip which helps pay the bills or a trip to go on a jolly for a hobby, leaving his heavily pregnant wife and young child, when it’s both avoidable and unnecessary…

sorry you’re totally right, they are absolutely of equal importance

PuppyMonkey · 04/10/2025 22:08

The obvious solution is your DH decides to not be an extreme sport knob end and doesn’t go on his oh so essential knob end trip.

Teacaketravesty · 04/10/2025 22:20

chair next to the bath and child either climbs onto it or you sit on it and he climbs onto your lap
a little stool in the car to put out on the pavement so child can climb in and out, you just steady him.
don’t carry him on one hip: pick him up central to you and if you can tie him to you with a shawl or scarf to spread the weight that helps - take very small steps if you need to walk.
tie a belt around your pelvis to help hold it together (you can buy special ones or use any)
(I’d ask husband to cancel trip, tbh)

pambeesleyhalpert · 05/10/2025 11:44

Cook do a really good range of kids meals, 5 for £13 or something, all home made then frozen so not “unhealthy” they also do great adult meals. I’d stock up on those. Can you take any AL/ sick leave to rest during the day?

Balhambanana · 05/10/2025 11:59

Well . Mine worked abroad for my pregnancies and it was simply a case of lowering standards and plenty of shortcuts. Work is unavoidable though and hobbies… not so much?
I hope you have an equal budget to throw at your week which at least allows a good supply of fancy freezer food and ready meals.
It’s very difficult. In every picture of that era of my life my teeny kids are wearing wellies or crocs and leotards with attached tutus. I remember I just had to pick my toddler battles and the big one was getting dressed and tying shoes , just getting out the door seemed insurmountable 🙈.

NuffSaidSam · 05/10/2025 12:07

Make everything as easy as it can possibly be.

Either work from home or call in sick.

Ask at the nursery if any of the staff would like to earn some extra money by bringing DS home in the evening.

Don't pick him up. If he wants comfort and cuddles sit down with him, cuddle on the sofa, but don't carry him round.

Get DH to batch cook some meals for you before he leaves or buy in some good quality ready meals and mix these in with easy basics (eggs, beans, pizza, fish fingers etc).

theinterest · 05/10/2025 12:17

Is also say OH doesn’t go. I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant and have a just turned 2 year old and terrible PGP which started at week 10 this time around. You will really risk making it so much worse if you have to do all the heavy lifting for a week.

but if there is no other choice, I’d book in with a good pre natal physio and osteopath before hand to relieve as much tension in the joints and muscles as possible and do the same as soon as your OH is home.

other suggestion is take some time off work whilst OH is away so you can nap and rest your back and allow yourself to recover as much as possible in the day between looking after your toddler.

Hope it goes well whatever happens

soundsofthevalley · 05/10/2025 12:32

We had exactly this scenario here. We dealt with it by getting a student from a local nanny training college who came in mornings and evenings to help me. She was there for most of the lifting in and out of cot, bath, etc. I can’t tell you how much help it was. She was obviously paid, but it was les than a fully qualified nanny. I wish you all the best!

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