My reception child is not happy 😥

[Beardeddragonmum]

Wondered if anyone has any advice, my little one has recently started school, a year later as I chose to defer him as he was not ready and had diagnosed learning difficulties! However since starting school his behaviour has shifted he is constantly having meltdowns , screaming refusing to go to sleep waking hourly and hitting myself and his siblings ! I am at a complete loss as to what to do , I am exhausted mentally and physically , struggling to concentrate at work as well, I dread every morning and evening 😥😥

What are his difficulties?

Does he have any support in school or an ECHP?

Was he in nursery or childcare before?

How is his behaviour in school?

Currently in discussions with the school, they've filed the letters from the peads , most recent appointment confirmed he is developmentally age 2.5/3 and all they are saying is he's fine

Waiting to go through the EHCP needs assessment at the moment- he was with a full-time childminder on a one to one basis for the last 6 months

School say he's fine

How old is he? You say he has diagnosed learning difficulties but don’t say what these are.

You can request ehcp yourself. Being developmentally 2+ years behind is a cause for concern. Has he had an educational psychologist assessment?

Do you think he is somehow holding it together at school and then letting it all out at home where he feels safe? The problem with having deferred him is that now school could be expecting him to be at the upper range if the cohort. If he's not small for his age he will stick out too. I think you are going to need to go full guns for SEND assessment and consider looking at special school provision. It's a hard decision but just deferring him a year clearly isn't going to be enough.

You need to ask for a meeting with SENCO and class teacher. Discuss your concerns, take a list with you. Ask what support them can and offer and which external agencies they can involve. Make sure he is on the SEN register and ask to see his IEP. Type up a summary and email to school and ask them if there is anything you missed or anything the disagree with.

Have you applied for ECHNA?

If he has had 1:1 for the last 6 months then going into class will be shock. Why kind of issues are you aware of other than delay? Just so I can think of some suggestions.

He's 5 - delayed development across all areas which the peadetrician has written as learning difficulties ?!

I asked for a meeting with the senco as soon as the school opened in line with the pediatrician advice and was told that is not their process !

How old are his siblings?

On the school’s website you will find the school’s complaint procedure. Find it, you’re going to need it a lot. The first step is normally to make contact with the headteacher when you do this say this is a formal complaint (really important). You need to be clued up on SEND legislation. Contact your local SENDIASS service.

9 and 10

Oh wow, I didn't know this! How do I find out about the local SENDIAS service?

This is what I am know wondering !! He is also very tall for his age and I have no idea about specialist provisions

Google your council name (it’s on your bin) and SENDIASS. Some SENDIASS are better than others.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7dcb85ed915d2ac884d995/SEND_Code_of_Practice_January_2015.pdf#page19
^ This is the law. You will need to read chapter 6. Anything which says must is a legal duty the school should be following under The Children and Family Act 2014, if they don’t you can take them to judicial review.

Oh this is great, thanks, I will go through that this evening , because I will take whatever help /information I can get at this stage

I wouldn’t start with a formal complaint- you don’t want to burn any bridges if not necessary!
Was school warned about his delay well before he started ? It’s only been 4 weeks or so, so little time to put anything in place!
By all means talk to them and the Senco and firmly ask for an action plan, but a formal complaint is too early in my opinion . He might well be ok in the moment in school (and then melts down at home, but they don’t see that).
If that doesn’t help, you need a formal complaint. An EHCP can take years, so definitely get that started

They are fully aware , the forms I had to complete to defer him for a year were very detailed and when had a stay and play sessions, they were going to send the SENco to the home visit but she never appeared!

I only partly agree. If the SENCO is saying no I would ask for a meeting with the head and SENCO and if they’re still not budging then I would go to formal complaint. Have they shared his IEP with you? Is he on the SEN register?

I've had no communication from them regarding anything! I've sent numerous emails requesting responses which hav3 all been ignored and unfortunately as I have to get the other 2 children to school and get to work he goes to breakfast club and after school club each day (which he loves because not many children and they are in the pre school part for this) so I don't get to see the teacher

If he is at breakfast and after school club then I think that is just too much for him to cope with. He was with child minder 1 to 1 and now having very long days. I really think he's probably having to hold it together far too much. You need to rethink all that and work a way to be able to talk to staff at school.

What difficulties did he have at the childminders?
Id also add, that his school day is very long so it’s absolutely no wonder he’s struggling!

No advice but my heart goes out to you and your son. Very tough.