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Original poster

Children and pocket money...do you "control" what they spend?

87 replies

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 07:57

Dc have £10 pocket money a month each. They both invariably want to spend it on Robux/minecoins. It seems such a waste to me, and nit at all the point of giving them pocket money to start with. But I am also a bit of a soft touch with it.

One has just asked to use his entire £10 on robux. He got the pocket money yesterday. I just dont want him to tbh. He'll spend it on the current game if the moment which he and all his friends will move on from in a week or a few weeks.

Do I just say No?
Say he can use £5 on robux (suggested this, the thing hhe wants to spend it on is £10 worth...)
Suggest he waits few days and can have it if he still wants it?

I dont know why, I just feel really harsh saying no. Probably just need to get a grip!

OP posts:
Ducksurprise · 04/10/2025 08:36

It is hard but you have to let them spend as they want so they learn and so they can be children.

We used to tell our children that we were giving them £2 extra, one of those pounds had to go away to be saved for long term, and one of those pounds had to go away to save for short term - and then they could spend the rest how they liked.

I still found it hard when they saved up their short term money for some expensive crap at Smiggle.

If your children are not regretting spending on roadblox then it isn't a waste of money.

Original poster
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:39

Thanks all, some excellent points.

This is pocket money, given, not earnt.i don't pay them for chores, because, well no one pays me 😂

I think i need to tighten up on the random £1 & £2 additional spends in the month and say "no, you've spent all f your money" im probably hindering the process by being soft in that respect.

OP posts:
LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 08:40

No this is really controlling.

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Original poster
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:40

Ducksurprise · 04/10/2025 08:36

It is hard but you have to let them spend as they want so they learn and so they can be children.

We used to tell our children that we were giving them £2 extra, one of those pounds had to go away to be saved for long term, and one of those pounds had to go away to save for short term - and then they could spend the rest how they liked.

I still found it hard when they saved up their short term money for some expensive crap at Smiggle.

If your children are not regretting spending on roadblox then it isn't a waste of money.

This is a good idea thank you.

OP posts:
Curledup14 · 04/10/2025 08:40

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:39

Thanks all, some excellent points.

This is pocket money, given, not earnt.i don't pay them for chores, because, well no one pays me 😂

I think i need to tighten up on the random £1 & £2 additional spends in the month and say "no, you've spent all f your money" im probably hindering the process by being soft in that respect.

But let them spend the pocket money however the hell they want!

Squidgemoon · 04/10/2025 08:41

My DS is 9 and gets £2 a week. When I was his age I spent it all on sweets, somehow he just seems to get away with us buying him sweets though … so he mostly saves his and then occasionally buys a Lego set or a jellycat or something like that. He often gets given Robux and Minecoins for his birthday by friends or he gets some in his stocking at Christmas but funnily enough he rarely asks to spend his pocket money on that. It always disappears instantly on something stupid that brings him only about 5 seconds of joy so I think he is learning that it’s not the best use of money!

Original poster
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:41

Curledup14 · 04/10/2025 08:40

But let them spend the pocket money however the hell they want!

Show quote history

Yes i think you're right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:43

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 08:40

No this is really controlling.

Just to be clear, they have always spent it on what they want. But as the amounts increase, it feels (to me) so wasteful. Hence asking for opinions

OP posts:
Ineffable23 · 04/10/2025 08:43

I think it would be reasonable to ask them to think about how they felt last time "Did you enjoy that all last time?" etc, and remind them that if they want to buy other things later they won't be able to, with suggestions of the others things they might want to buy. But if they still want to spend their money on something silly then I think that's one of the things that they have to learn from.

Sprogonthetyne · 04/10/2025 08:44

If they see something they want next week, do you buy it for them or make them wait until next pocket money? Also do they ever go to shops to see things they might otherwise have bought? Do the watch TV on a platform with adverts? It could be that they're just not aware/not remembering what else they could spend it on, while to roblocks are in their face.

Hohumdedum · 04/10/2025 08:44

My DC is still very young but I give them £1 cash/week. They are allowed to spend it on whatever they want, but I will advise them if I know they could get it cheaper elsewhere. I also encourage them to really think about their decision and sometimes they decide they'd rather keep saving for something bigger.

If they really really want a toy that's over budget, we'll see if it's available secondhand or give them a way to earn a bit of extra money for a few weeks - usually doing extra reading or writing practices.

bettydavieseyes · 04/10/2025 08:48

I'm in a minority here then...
I would ask yourself why you give pocket money (I don't until kids are at least 12 and going places by themselves).
I always thought pocket money is about teaching them to budget and save etc. Otherwise why do they need money to blow when they're not earning it in any way?! In my opinion this will make them bad with money later in life!
I wouldn't allow my kids to spend money inside virtual games. That's an awful waste and is a really bad way of thinking.

Ladamesansmerci · 04/10/2025 08:48

I think part of childhood is wasting your pocket money on fun things. I used to save and spend mine on Sarah Bright man albums (I'm autistic and had weird interests, don't judge me lol) as a teen. I certainly never thought about saving for anything actually useful, it all went on my hobbies and interests.

I personally think some kids are naturally more cautious and some kids are impulsive. You don't truly learn about budgeting until you have bills to pay, and that's how it should be. It's not a waste to them if they enjoy it. I'm an adult gamer and still buy some skins and stuff on games! They will naturally save it a bit more as they reach their teens, as they'll learn that if they've spent it all on Roblox, there's no money left for getting a maccies with their mates or going to the cinema.

Curledup14 · 04/10/2025 08:49

In my opinion this will make them bad with money later in life!

😆

JaninaDuszejko · 04/10/2025 08:50

Mine are older and get a reasonable amount per month and can spend it how they want on going out etc. The eldest (17) has alway asked for extra, thankfully she's now got a job as a lifeguard so we won't have to pay for her social life and Vinted habit any more. The second oldest always saves her money. Raised the same but different personalities.

I think at 8 and 10 giving them money weekly might be better but I'd give them however much you don't mind them frittering away. I certainly wouldn't insist an 8 year old saved any pocket money, they can learn that habit once they get a job as teenagers.

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 08:53

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:43

Just to be clear, they have always spent it on what they want. But as the amounts increase, it feels (to me) so wasteful. Hence asking for opinions

Show quote history

But your opinion on what is a waste has nothing to do with what someone else wants to buy with their money. It's as simple as that.

Original poster
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:54

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 08:53

But your opinion on what is a waste has nothing to do with what someone else wants to buy with their money. It's as simple as that.

Show quote history

Yes, and that's why I put (to me).

OP posts:
ViciousCurrentBun · 04/10/2025 08:57

Mine had to earn pocket money, no chores no cash.
It’s a valuable life lesson.

Baital · 04/10/2025 08:59

The things I treat myself to, and the things DD treats herself to, are very different. Neither are necessarily 'wasteful'. But once the money is gone, it's gone. No mid month top ups!

Alternatively give them some of it as pocket money for whatever they want to spend it on, and put some of it aside for purchases that have to be agreed with you.

But I think it is educational to gave some money with a completely free choice, so they get used to making decisions about money.

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 09:00

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:54

Yes, and that's why I put (to me).

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Okay but can you see that it is a bit of a strange question to ask.

"I don't think blue jeans are nice, should I stop my daughter wearing them? It could be problematic if she wore blue jeans everywhere for the rest of her life so should I tell her what to wear now?"

NarnianQueen · 04/10/2025 09:01

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2025 08:06

This is how I feel, but "learning" only works if they have regrets, and they dont seem to.

Show quote history

I think this is fine! Grown-ups spend money on crap too (overpriced pub drinks, designer handbags, bloody beauty calendars!) Giving them their own money (and then no more when they’ve spent it) is absolutely the best way for them to understand the value of every penny. If they’re happy with what they’re spending it on and the bang for their buck, I don’t see the problem.

Octavia64 · 04/10/2025 09:02

No.

that’s the whole point of it. They learn (after several years) that when it’s gone it’s gone and they learn to make their own choices.

OhamIreally · 04/10/2025 09:06

I started giving my DD £5 per week several years ago. Her dad is terrible with money and I didn’t want her to be the same. The first few weeks she spent that money the second it was in her hands. Whereas previously I had bought her chocolate and little treats, now, when she asked, I would say “do you have any money left?” It was quite uncomfortable for her to realise that she couldn’t have something because she’d spent up.
Gradually, on Friday when she got her money she would decide the magazine she coveted wasn’t worth a week’s money and stopped spending everything the second she got it.
Shes ok with money now. I tell her if it’s a need I will buy, if it’s a want she has to buy.

Ducksurprise · 04/10/2025 09:10

bettydavieseyes · 04/10/2025 08:48

I'm in a minority here then...
I would ask yourself why you give pocket money (I don't until kids are at least 12 and going places by themselves).
I always thought pocket money is about teaching them to budget and save etc. Otherwise why do they need money to blow when they're not earning it in any way?! In my opinion this will make them bad with money later in life!
I wouldn't allow my kids to spend money inside virtual games. That's an awful waste and is a really bad way of thinking.

So children should never be able to buy anything they want?
How can they learn to budget and save without learning about spending

But mainly

I wouldn't allow my kids to spend money inside virtual games. That's an awful waste and is a really bad way of thinking

Why- I really want to know why you want to control your child's fun money. Why is it such a waste?

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 09:14

"Why- I really want to know why you want to control your child's fun money. Why is it such a waste?"

It's parents who just want to own another life rather than raise children to live their own lives. This is why so many kids go NC with their parents now or move far away and see them once a year. It's to get away.