School’s treatment of DD being unwell

[Dotheblippiwiggle]

DD14 had 5 days off school as she had an awful sickness and stomach bug. She was barely away from the loo during those 5 days. Her school does not allow students to use the toilets unless they have a doctor confirmed medical issue so she would have had an accident. (Another issue entirely as she gets regular urine infections from holding it in until she’s home).
I received an email from school stating her attendance is appalling from the 5 days off. They claimed they came to my house to check DD was actually unwell but no one was home (a lie as I work from home, sitting at the main window and also have 2 ring doorbells). They want me to come into school for a meeting to discuss how I can prevent any further time off school. I’ve also received a council letter telling me if she has anymore time off school they will fine me and take me to court. For 5 days.
Im shocked and disgusted that 5 days of being genuinely unwell has caused such an uproar. I know for a fact many of her friends have had much more time off school and they haven’t received the same emails or letter. (I know their parents so this is confirmed).
It feels like they have decided to pick on DD specifically. No one can plan to be unwell, no one wants to be unwell and if she is unwell again in the future and needs time off school it would make me a neglectful cruel parent to send her in.
Today she woke up complaining of a sore throat, not to get a day off school but to ask me to get her some lozenges. She was quiet at school as it hurt to speak and her form tutor told her ‘oh well, you’re not allowed any more time off so suck it up’.
I don’t know how to react to this, I’m angry and I’m also confused why DD is seeming to take the weight of school statistics on her shoulders. She told me at lunch 4 of her teachers were sat in the canteen and were watching her while talking which made her uncomfortable.
There is no cause for concern with DD, she’s a good student and she’s doing great academically. It’s made me want to remove her from the school although I know this is drastic and not good for her upcoming GCSEs.
Can anyone who works in this sector shed light on why the school are overreacting? Is there anything I should do/say? Tia

Ask them a date and time they visited as there's nothing on your cctv.

5 days off this early in the school year will make her attendance look awful, probably around 75%. But it will even out as the year goes on assuming her attendance is otherwise good so I wouldn't worry

It sounds like the school may have marked the sickness days as unauthorised.

It should be an authorised absence. You do not need to provide medical evidence to prove sickness unless the school has justified doubts about illness being the actual cause of the absence.

I'd ask the school to confirm if her time off for sickness has been recorded as authorised or unauthorised. Challenge it if it is unauthorised.

I'd ask for exact details of the stated home visit as you wish to use your cctv footage to confirm they did attend as you are confused about not seeing them as both you and your daughter were home.

Some schools have lost the plot with attendance.

Your adding 'another issue' with her apparently being ill from following school toilet rules makes me think they're not picking on her, but she's actually a concern, continually trying to get out of something. Maybe she's there most days, but asking to leave lessons regularly.

As pp say, her attendance will be terrible as a percentage if she's missed a whole week in the first month. She's essentially used up what would be acceptable over the year. No she can't help it and it could happen again, but she's missed 30 lessons. They don't want her to miss more, or she'll be over the average / acceptable level. Missing more lessons will mean that this time next year, she won't be performing 'great' academically. She'll be at a disadvantage.

It's the start of a new year, and having 5 days off will totally skew her attendance. If she is genuinely ill there is nothing to be done.

The focus this year for schools is attendance, attendance, attendance with so many children out of school.

It is not unusual to make home visits from often the third day but you would not usually go alone. We would take a photo of the front door or car in the drive if there was no reply, or speak to the neighbours.
Just have a conversation and ask them what they want you to do if the child is ill.

I work in the sector. They've made a massive f up. Write this email to whoever sent it to you and copy in the governors and the safeguarding lead. I promise you they will s themselves and not bother you again.

---

Dear [name],

I would like to arrange a meeting to discuss this issue further as I have several serious safeguarding concerns regarding your email.

Firstly, the email you have sent directly states that my daughter has had five days unauthorised absence this term, which is incorrect. She has had five days of authorised sickness absence where she has been medically unwell. I have informed the school of her sickness following your policy. Schools have a legal obligation within safeguarding as well as their obligations to OFSTED to keep and accurate and true record of attendance and absence as this is a legally required document that can be used as evidence in court of law. I am deeply concerned that you as a school have clearly not fulfilled this legal and safeguarding obligation as you have incorrectly noted my child as unauthorised absence.

Secondly, I am surprised that a professional body such as yourselves are suggesting I should be bringing an unwell child into school against medical advice. The NHS guidelines (and your own policy) clearly state that children should not be in school for a minimum of 48 hours after the final D&V episode. I would be negligent as a parent to send my child into school with active D&V, and I am really disappointed to see that the school are negligent enough of their pupils welfare to encourage someone with an active D&V illness to come into school. I am surprised that the school thought their behaviour here has been appropriate. It is, at best, a lack of judgement, and yet another welfare and safeguarding concern. I am disappointed you value your attendance statistics more than your pupils welfare. Similarly, I would hope a school would have the common sense to realise that given children have only been back at school for one month, a five day absence would give a misleading percentage of attendance. I do not take lightly to being threatened when keeping my child home instead of having her vomit all over your classrooms.

Thirdly, you state you have been to my home to check that my daughter was unwell. This is factually incorrect as I was home with [daughter] the entire time, and our CCTV footage also shows no visits from yourselves. Therefore, there are only two possible conclusions. Either, the school are holding an incorrect home address (which is a GDPR and safeguarding breach) or is intentionally lying to provoke fear (which is harassment). I will need you to state in writing which of those two possibilities occured, and I shall then pass your response to OFSTED and the LADO along with my safeguarding conxern, as both eventualities are disturbing and not what I would expect of a school.

Please let me know the best way to discuss this with your further. I expect to hear back from you within 7 days, and I will include your reply (or lack there of) in my referal to OFSTED and LADO as a safeguarding concern at the school and as a notification of the professional conduct of your staff.

Regards

[Your name]

Dont send this. You'll look like a tit.

How is an incorrect address either a GDPR breach or a safeguarding concern?!

You need to look up the statutory guidance on this. It states very very clearly that illness should be marked as authorised absence, and that a dr’s note should not be routinely asked for.
Your daughter’s absence should be authorised, and there should be no question of a fine.
I also would not be attending a meeting to discuss how to improve attendance.

End of page 86, top of page 87.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/66bf300da44f1c4c23e5bd1b/Working_together_to_improve_school_attendance_-_August_2024.pdf

What was her attendance last year? The school may well be trying to preempt a repetition of poor attendance from previous years.

You’d speak to the neighbours????! WTAF??

We regularly have parcels delivered to the wrong house and people try to deliver stuff to us which is for two houses round the corner. I've had big arguments with companies that have sworn we've not been in when they tried to deliver, but their description of our house is nothing like our house. If someone tried to check on my DDs from school, there's every chance they'd pick the wrong house and say we hadn't answered.

I know right wtf have the neighbours got to do with my sick child?!

Did you follow the school procedures for reporting sickness while she was off? Most school's ask you to contact them every morning to let them know. If you did do this, did the issue of the absence not being authorised come up in conversation? I can't imagine a scenario where you would call the school every morning for 5 days and then they'd decide the absence was unauthorised without a discussion with you? You need to clarify why they've recorded it as unauthorised if you've followed the reporting procedure

The other bits about the teacher telling your daughter to 'suck it up' and the 4 teachers standing around staring at her and talking about her, I'm afraid I'd take with a pinch of salt. A few days absence through sickness isn't something that would be a source of conversation between teachers in a secondary school. They have much more serious issues to focus on

Sounds like they think you went on holiday! Which you didn’t but I’d be asking for fate and time of visit to check your cameras

"No, we haven't seen the family next door since Saturday, they were loading their suitcases into a taxi. Said they were off to Spain and could we put their out on Tuesday"

Or

"No, I've not seen the family, but I do hear a lot if shouting and banging through the walls, and on Sunday evening i could hear someone crying"

Or any other number of responses which may shead some light on things. How often do we hear about kids killed through abuse and neglect and the resultant outrage that they've fallen through the cracks. Incredibly unlikely, but for the one kid who is off all week with "V&D" who is actually off to hide their visible bruises, that welfare check or conversation with a neighbour could be a significant piece of a larger puzzle

This is both terribly written and completely inaccurate.

Schools visit your home?? Are you supposed to let them in? How bizarre.

And speak to the neighbours? What the fuck?

Yes, I wouldn’t let them in to see a teen with a stomach bug. I get what they’re doing and I wouldn’t be cross, but I’d politely explain that it wasn’t happening, because I can’t imagine much worse, as a teen, than vomiting horrendously, feeling like shit, and suddenly you’ve got two of your teachers poking their head round your door as you dash to the loo in your pyjamas.

5 days in a block is a lot for a stomach bug. It's also a good amount of time to be able to take a short holiday. If the school did do an attendance visit but got confused by the layout of houses, it may have seemed like you were out. For example, our house has a 'backdoor' on the left of the house and a 'front door' on the right of the house, because you come in the front door, turn left and then the main corridor of the house runs along the front of the house. People often mistakenly think it is two houses. None of this makes it right, but they are some possibilities.

Did you follow policy? The school DDs attended required a daily report of absence.

I was asked to provide a letter from DD3's doctor when she had mental health difficulties. I sent an email saying:

"The Working Together to Improve School Attendance document found at assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1099677/Working_together_to_improve_school_attendance.pdf states on page 58:

"219. Schools should advise parents to notify them on the first day the child is unable to attend due to illness. Schools must record absences as authorised where pupils cannot attend due to illness (both physical and mental health related).

220. In the majority of cases a parent’s notification that their child is ill can be accepted without question or concern. Schools should not routinely request that parents provide medical evidence to support illness. Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily as it places additional pressure on health professionals, their staff and their appointments system particularly if the illness is one that does not require treatment by a health professional. Only where the school has a genuine and reasonable doubt about the authenticity of the illness should medical evidence be requested to support the absence."

Can you clarify if the school has a "genuine and reasonable doubt about the authenticity" of DD's illness?

Whilst I am willing to talk to the GP surgery about DD, I think the above document puts the attendance officer's request into the realm of unreasonable, unless there is a concern about the authenticity of DD's mental health difficulties that I have not been informed of."

I got an apology and confirmation that medical evidence was not required.

Honestly, though, as it's for a short term issue, I'd go along, explain how many days she was vomiting/had diarrhoea for, and ask them at what point they would have liked you to send her back?

Go in and discuss it face to face. Take another person with you (partner or dh?) so you don’t feel intimidated.

The letter is obviously implementing a general school policy but see what they actually have to say to you first as an individual before worrying too much.

Did you take your dd to the doctor? Have you any proof of illness in other words? If not, I think that would be prudent in future, even if not technically required.

5 days in a block is a lot for a stomach bug

It’s on the longer side but I don’t think it’s unreasonable if the parent is sticking to the 48 hour rule. Child wakes up Monday morning feeling sick, stays home, starts vomiting later on that day which continues overnight. Tuesday and Wednesday diarrhoea, then you can’t go back that week at all.

I'm honestly flabbergasted that this is a thing. I know when I was at school we did have truancy officers but they did not attend at your home for a reasonable and reported sickness absence. Schools have lost all perspective.

Surely a dr would have said, over the phone, this sounds like a virus, she’ll probably be fine in a few days. And OP would have had to pay for a note stating that the child was ill. The gov guidance specifically says evidence from Drs should not be requested by schools unless in exceptional circumstances.

@cabbagekingYou cannot go round knocking on student’s neighbours’ doors ffs! That’s stalking. You’d be hearing from the police if you did that to us!

Yes, but in that situation you'd report them ill on Monday 'feeling sick', Tuesday 'started being sick yesterday and is still vomiting with diarrhoea', Wednesday 'has diarrhoea', Thursday 'Diarrhoea has stopped but 48 hours rule', then Friday '48 hours rule but will be in on Monday.'