Child In Salon

[Salons]

Hi had an upsetting thing happen today and I’m looking for a virtual handhold as I’m too embarrassed to share in real life.
I was in a salon getting my nails done (a very rare self pampering treat for me) when a child of around 5/6 (who’s Mother was at the next station) came up to me and said, ‘why are you so big, you need to stop eating so much food’
For context I am overweight and I have gained weight due to a chronic illness and stress from having a child with serious health issues. I’m a size 16 and I’m short so not giant but equally not slim. I don’t need an extender belt on an aeroplane and can fit in to regular seats etc but I do know I need to lose weight
I’m barely keeping my head above water with all the things I have to juggle and it’s made me feel even worse about myself.
I know he’s only a child but he literally walked over to say that to me and his Mother said, ‘ so sorry he watches too much Tik Tok’

Wow. Am so sorry.
Please remember you are more than your weight. Don't let that put you down in any way

Its the childs mother that should be embarrassed not you. Try not let it upset you x

Kids are quite literal but by 5 he should be learning that it’s not polite to comment on people’s size so hopefully his mum will have that discussion with him.

If you’re not happy with your size of course it’s hurts to have it commented on, you could try and use today as the catalyst to make a change and try lose some weight.

I'm size 10 and my ds the other day who is 5 told me i needed to lose fat and i will be more beautiful. Children are savages. My ds doesn't watch TikTok or YouTube and isn't subjected to bodily conversations in our home but somehow he knows this stuff which is of course concerning! I did have a long chat with him afterwards about this.

Sounds like a kid with a bad parent, he should know by that age a) not to wander up to strangers and start talking (b) not to be rude/mean. The fact that his mum then blamed it on Tim Tok which he shouldn’t even be watching tells you everything yo7 need to know about the parenting.

The fact he is even allowed on TikTok tells us all we need to know about her parenting tbh.

so sorry he watches too much Tik Tok’

That's what his mother said, was it?

I'd have told him straight, 'that's a very rude thing to say. It's unkind and bad manners to comment on other people's bodies. Go away now, please.'

If the mother isn't setting him straight, I would.

Id have hissed at him to fuck off tbh.

What a horrendous parent. Ignore it x

Yes that was her reply. His sister was there too and she said, ‘and from you’

I did say that wasn’t a very kind thing to say but I was in such shock and then spent the rest of the appointment in tears ☹️

If it helps I’m a size 8-10 and my children regularly tell me I have a big bottom 😁
I would be bloody mortified if they said it to anyone else though.

You are not your size. Size is the least interesting thing about a person. It’s not good health wise to carry extra weight, but you know this, and you’ll fix it when you have the right head space to do it.

The mum should be ashamed of herself.

Crikey. I think the response may be, 'why are you so rude young man?'.

I’d have replied, why are you so rude? You need to learn to keep your opinions to yourself.

The embarrassment is not yours, op.

Kids can be harsh unfortunately. My dn who's 8 asked me recently if I'm pregnant? Absolutely not haha. She then asked why is my tummy so big then? . It's obviously cheeky but try not to let the comment hurt you and the mum really should've said something to her son.

There's quite a big difference between a curious child wondering if you're pregnant to one who actively tells you to stop eating so much food.

That's a horrible kid being raised by a shit parent.

Why were her children even in the salon?

You're a kinder person than me. I'd have told him it's clear he's not got many friends with an attitude like that.

This. At least she apologised.

Kids do say awfully embarrassing things from time to time, particularly at that age.

This is such a Mumsnet question! 🤣

And one that the OP is pretty unlikely to know the answer to.

A 5 year old watching Tik Tok?? If that isn't illegal it absolutely should be. You aren't the one who should be feeling embarrassed.

“Why are you so rude, did your mother not teach you any manners?”

Kids can be blunt, but most likely they weren't being deliberately unkind and I bet the mother is mortified. The tiktok comment from her is crap though.

At 5 kids should be getting a hold of what is kind and not kind to say, but we all put our foot in it sometimes, even as adults.

It is also really hard to estimate the age of a child you don't know, my 5yo looks much older than he is due to his height. He has always had advanced speech, which made people expect much better behaviour and social norms on him from much younger ages. This child you are guessing is 5 or 6 could be barely 4 - with even less of a filter!