Is mumsnet mean?

[Dalmationlover]

I see so many abrupt or just downright rude replies to fellow humans on here. People can have different opinions and be polite surely. Some proper misogynistic insults seen recently calling other people dramatic / hysterical (hyst is from uterus). Come on mamas we can do better than this 😭

what is it that makes some people here like this?

• maybe there are lots of rude people anyway but I just stick around the less rude ones lol
• People feel they can be meaner when there’s anonymity. Is this what people think but filter out when their own name is behind it?

peace and love ✌️

I think there's a wide range of people on here and not everything will be for everyone - for example the use of mamas gave me the immediate ick but obviously in itself is inoffensive and others will use it as well. The spectrum is wide ranging.

I think where there is an issue is where people look at a situation and give advice on that, without maybe thinking more about the fact there is a whole context we don't know. Or expect posters to make difficult life changes instantly as if its not emotive and scary and complex to do in reality. I also think it's very easy to be big and bold and insulting and rude on an anonymous account and some people use that to feel superior.

But I wouldn't say mn in general is mean, just a few people shout louder than others and I guess some posters are putting sensitive content in boards like AIBU? whereas really the topic is probably not appropriate for that type of debate.

Not sure about nasty but this is a bonkers view

FWB is having fun sex with someone you know and whose company you enjoy - at least for sex but often in general.

Having sex as a prostitute is having sex with multiple people you don't know, will almost certainly sometimes find repulsive, because you need the money. Unless you are at the very top of the business, you will also face some risk to your wellbeing and life. If you are at the bottom then the chances are you are facing a lot of danger, addiction and control.

It is hard to believe you don't understand this..

I do understand that of course but I think it really probably doesn't apply in the context of someone calling a FWB situation, 'free prostitution'.

Surely they're just talking about free sex without any emotional commitment or an actual relationship?

The comparison was to using a prostitute. But let’s be honest here, even if the inference was calling her a prostitute, I don’t think the poster was being complimentary, do you? Good grief.

Again, doesn't that depend on how you view prostitutes?

I used to know two prostitutes many years ago and they were two of the loveliest women I've ever met.

Yep. And just because someone is being paid for sex doesn't mean they aren't selective about who they allow to be their clients or that they do every sexual act you can think of.

Sure, sure.

Hey, you’d get on well with @Allthatshines1992 Have fun, guys.

Mumsnet in general - no
Some posters - yes
But it's just words on a screen. I can't ever imagine being upset or offended by something a complete stranger on an annomous forum has written.

I also notice that a lot of people jump to conclusions about posts I've written - and in this case it's putting my opinion at some very extreme end of the spectrum, usually making me appear mean and nasty. I then patiently explain more carefully what I meant, only to get a brusque retort like "you did write that <mean nasty thing>".

I also find it infruriatiing when people post about conspiracy theories saying it's the absolute truth, even though all it takes is a few seconds of googling to find that it is a conspiracy theory and has no truth.
Sometimes I post a link to some 'official' information and the response is "everything they say is a lie.". They never have any evidence.

Are you new here because this is a pretty frequent question. The nest of vipers line is at least 10-15 years old. MNers can be brutal but it doesn't mean they're wrong.

Your description is wrong though. There is emotion, sometimes deep emotion and feelings. It's not as transactional as you describe.

I was in a FWB relationship for abut four years and we probably loved each other but we knew we would be terrible together outside of it so it stayed as it was.

It's certainly nothing like prostitution.

Exactly this. Also I like your username.

I need to polish my fangs. Be along in a minute. While I'm busy, have a think about WHY YOU HAD A THIRD CHILD??! Surely you knew children are expensive.

I can never get my head around that one. Do people think hard-up mothers can just return unaffordable kids? That would bloody hurt.

Thank you @MarylandMDand @BirdShedRevisited. You get it

They see these people as feckless for either not using contraception or for having sex at all assuming the contraception failed.