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Original poster

It's been a dreadful dreadful dreadful dreadful summer for me......I need to get some advice please

48 replies

Roseinatub · 30/09/2025 11:48

I had so much this summer and so much demands and commitments and it came at me from every angle. There was work stuff and then there was family stuff too.

From the first weekend of July I can cound on one hand the amount of days that I had off. That was my work. Nearly every second weekend being called upon on top of Monday to Friday work and live in duties too. Then work had me studying too. It was honestly too much.

Then I had family commitments. I had family home from abroad all summer and any time I was free from work and studying I was spending time with my family or babysitting.

It's been months since I had a day to myself.
MONTHS.

My family are gone now and I really need a day to myself. Just to sit down in front of a meal out and eat it in peace. Have a drink in peace.

Work is trying to catch me for this weekend.

Then the following weekend I have to go to a function.

The idea of waiting until approx the 20th of October to get a day to myself doesn't appeal to me. There will likely be some other assh0le trying to get me to work or babysit. Why do I have to wait months to get any time to myself.

I really cannot cope any more without a day to myself. It really is that simple. You would swear I am married with at least 10 little babies with this kind of demands but I am not. I don't have any of that.

I can't cope any more.

In fact the only time off I got last year from my work was when I got ill from covid and needed a week off. Again this year. I got a week off when I was sick with covid.

I can't cope any more.

OP posts:
Darragon · 30/09/2025 11:50

You need to learn to say no.

Mum2twoandacockapoo · 30/09/2025 11:51

You need to start saying no to people and meaning it for your own mental health .

Start being busy even if you’re on the sofa with some Pringles watching a film , curtains shut with your phone off . You need to make time for you and don’t feel guilty about it .

Smartiepants79 · 30/09/2025 11:52

What actually happens if you say ‘no, work, I’m not available this weekend, I’m away.’ ?? Because this is what you need to do.

CharlotteLightandDark · 30/09/2025 11:52

’Get Covid’ again

saveforthat · 30/09/2025 11:54

You have made multiple posts about this situation. The first post nails it. Say no.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/09/2025 11:56

Say no. Mean no. Do no.

If youre the poster I think, your family were massively taking the piss. I would say 'never ever invite them again' but I know you won't do that. I can only say invite them for much shorter visits and lay some ground rules now.

Ormally · 30/09/2025 11:56

When you do this as an exception enough, work will very soon see it as business as usual.

Who else is going to defend your time? 'If it's not for sale, don't put it in the window.'

WatchingTheDetective · 30/09/2025 11:57

Who are the people and what kind of demands are they making of you?

HennieGirl · 30/09/2025 12:00

saveforthat · 30/09/2025 11:54

You have made multiple posts about this situation. The first post nails it. Say no.

This. You're entirely to blame here OP. You're not going to get difference answers on each thread so what do you want out of this?

it's entirely your fault as you've enabled them to treat you this way and you've decided to say 'yes' to everything and then be upset about your lack of down time.

we can't say no for you.

Sparkletastic · 30/09/2025 12:00

What is stopping you from saying no and managing your work life balance more effectively?

Dudgeon · 30/09/2025 12:00

saveforthat · 30/09/2025 11:54

You have made multiple posts about this situation. The first post nails it. Say no.

This.

Uggbootsforever · 30/09/2025 12:03

I feel like this is verging into performative business now. You don’t have children, just get a new job. Your potential to have lots of ‘me’ time is pretty endless outside the hours of 9-5.

Secondhalfoflife · 30/09/2025 12:05

Roseinatub · 30/09/2025 11:48

I had so much this summer and so much demands and commitments and it came at me from every angle. There was work stuff and then there was family stuff too.

From the first weekend of July I can cound on one hand the amount of days that I had off. That was my work. Nearly every second weekend being called upon on top of Monday to Friday work and live in duties too. Then work had me studying too. It was honestly too much.

Then I had family commitments. I had family home from abroad all summer and any time I was free from work and studying I was spending time with my family or babysitting.

It's been months since I had a day to myself.
MONTHS.

My family are gone now and I really need a day to myself. Just to sit down in front of a meal out and eat it in peace. Have a drink in peace.

Work is trying to catch me for this weekend.

Then the following weekend I have to go to a function.

The idea of waiting until approx the 20th of October to get a day to myself doesn't appeal to me. There will likely be some other assh0le trying to get me to work or babysit. Why do I have to wait months to get any time to myself.

I really cannot cope any more without a day to myself. It really is that simple. You would swear I am married with at least 10 little babies with this kind of demands but I am not. I don't have any of that.

I can't cope any more.

In fact the only time off I got last year from my work was when I got ill from covid and needed a week off. Again this year. I got a week off when I was sick with covid.

I can't cope any more.

If you were to die tomorrow, work would replace you without a thought. In the words of Masood Boomgaard tell them to "Fuck it".

Follow him on Instagram. He's great😃

AutumnLover1989 · 30/09/2025 12:08

Stop being a martyr and learn to say no!!

Flakey99 · 30/09/2025 12:08

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take control of your life. It’s no-one else’s responsibility to look out for you.

You’re the only one who can change this and you can change everything if you decide you want to. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Friendlygingercat · 30/09/2025 12:17

Smart phones have an off switch.

PurpleChrayn · 30/09/2025 12:21

Stop being a martyr!

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/09/2025 12:22

Say no. Yes, it is that easy - once you have done it once and keep doing it, it gets easier. Switch your phone off, put it on silent, keep saying no. No one will do this for you - people will keep asking you to do things if they know you will just do them - so don’t.

SpencerGarciaGideon · 30/09/2025 12:26

It's hard to say no because you don't want to let work down and you'll feel like you will get into trouble if you start saying no. I get it. However, you are burnt out. If you get sick pay, I'd advise you to ask twh doctor to sign you off for a few weeks with stress and soon the company will figure out how to work without you 24/7. Good luck

Mistyglade · 30/09/2025 12:27

You sound like my brother, he thinks he has the monopoly on being busy. The truth is he can’t manage his own time and thinks his ‘busyness’ makes him more important than the rest of us. Learn to say no and prioritise what’s important.

madaboutpurple · 30/09/2025 12:31

It sounds like you need a few weeks as holiday leave and create some time for yourself.

jonthebatiste · 30/09/2025 12:32

If you have no dependents you have nobody to blame for this but yourself. Say no. Stop putting yourself in this situation. You’re not indispensable. You’re doing this to yourself - so stop it.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 30/09/2025 12:40

Just say no. As in, no, just bugger off and leave me alone for a week in peace. (But obviously nicer than that!)

Seriously though, your mental health must become a priority at all costs. It's imperative. Otherwise, who will be looking after things when you have a breakdown?

Hugs. Be strong 💪 Just do it - say NO.

Zodiacrobat · 30/09/2025 12:41

What about your annual leave allocation? Dont you get at least 4 weeks holiday (if you’re in the UK)?
Can you book some leave asap?

JadziaD · 30/09/2025 12:44

Are you a carer? And have you posted before because the family ou work for are insanely demanding?

Agree wtith other posters. Say no. Tell the family that no, you will not be doing this weekend. Take the day you need.