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Original poster

Anyone else have no family help with young DC?

51 replies

twoanddonee · 27/09/2025 18:15

DC and 5.9 and 2.3. We are in the unfortunate position of having very very little family help.
In the 5.9 years we’ve have DC1, our only night away from him (when my DP had him) was when I was in hospital having DC2.
We have always paid full wack for nursery fees as we’ve had to put them in every day that I’ve worked. And my DC1 now at school does wrap around care again on the days i work.
We manage to have a day off together probably twice a year when we manage to do a date day, but now DC1 is at school it’s very difficult to use holiday. So we’ve both pulled a sicky a couple of times which isn’t ideal when we usually have to pull a sicky for sick DC as well.
We do have, maybe twice a year max, someone over (usually my mum or sis) if we go to DH works do or a family event etc, but that’s about it.

I love them both dearly, I really truly do, but I am feeling resentful at the lack of help we get. All my friends seem to have regular date nights, even weekends away/abroad, or even just a few hours at the weekend to clean to run errands. I feel like we are constantly on the go, juggling everything, having to be extremely organised to cover everything, and we have next to no time for DH and I to connect.

Anyone else in the same boat?

OP posts:
RoseAndGeranium · 28/09/2025 04:15

twoanddonee · 27/09/2025 18:15

DC and 5.9 and 2.3. We are in the unfortunate position of having very very little family help.
In the 5.9 years we’ve have DC1, our only night away from him (when my DP had him) was when I was in hospital having DC2.
We have always paid full wack for nursery fees as we’ve had to put them in every day that I’ve worked. And my DC1 now at school does wrap around care again on the days i work.
We manage to have a day off together probably twice a year when we manage to do a date day, but now DC1 is at school it’s very difficult to use holiday. So we’ve both pulled a sicky a couple of times which isn’t ideal when we usually have to pull a sicky for sick DC as well.
We do have, maybe twice a year max, someone over (usually my mum or sis) if we go to DH works do or a family event etc, but that’s about it.

I love them both dearly, I really truly do, but I am feeling resentful at the lack of help we get. All my friends seem to have regular date nights, even weekends away/abroad, or even just a few hours at the weekend to clean to run errands. I feel like we are constantly on the go, juggling everything, having to be extremely organised to cover everything, and we have next to no time for DH and I to connect.

Anyone else in the same boat?

Oh yes. My only nights away from DC who are a year or so older than yours have been hospital stays. A SiL once babysat our eldest for a couple of hours while we had dinner. My parents have very occasionally watched the kids for up to a couple of hours during the day but the total hours covered in kids’ lifetime would be less than 10. Chances of regular informal help: zero.

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