Who do you confide in when you need a shoulder to cry on?

[EpsomSalted]

Who is your go to person? A parent? A partner? A sibling? A friend? An adult child?

Just wondering really. I have lots of friends and a happy marriage and lovely kids but nobody who is a great shoulder to cry on. Who do you call?

My DH . Normally my sister too but she has stage 4 brain cancer and it’s all a bit rubbish so he’s the only person I cry to . My Mum is wonderful but she’s looking after my Dad who has had major cancer surgery himself so she has enough on her plate .

It rather depends on why I'm crying. I have a couple of good colleagues I trust should I need to, DH, my girl guiding colleagues, a couple of really good friends.

I don’t really have anyone. I’m married and on the outside probably look like I have a busy, active, fun life. I have a million acquaintances but no real close friends. Don’t chat to DH much.

My mum is wonderful but has so much to worry about already I can’t bear to burden her.

I’m a lone wolf, but not through choice. I tough it out. When things get bad I’ll cry by myself. Then dust myself off and keep going. I have no other option.

DH is my immediate go to, but if he isn't available I have a small group of friends, any of which would be there as a listening ear in a heartbeat, but one in particular. It works both ways. She currently has a poorly child in hospital. I was the first person she contacted on her way to the hospital. We're very close.

My husband or adult daughter. Sometimes my young adult son, depending on my concern.

Sorry but I think we are the same person !

Don't really have anyone. Never have. It definitely wasn't wise to expect sympathetig o'r anything from Mum.

Hi @Hurumphh Yes I’d like that. A thread could be good - although I’m currently a bit haphazard about responding to things. Shall I start one in the bereavement forum?

I don't. It isn't my style and never has been. I will talk things through with DH, but in a more pragmatic way than emotional support.

Sounds great, I’ll look out for it :)

I’m lucky that I have a best friend, we have shared our ups and downs over more than twenty years, and I’m there for her, and she’s here for me, I am so grateful for her.

My dad was my rock, my safe pair of hands, but I sadly lost him four years ago. He always got things in perspective and was the voice of reason. My mum was so different, I learned the hard way that a problem shared with her was a problem doubled. What I mean is I still had the problem, but because she made it all about her, I had her to worry about also.
My maternal grandmother was strong and resilient and gave amazing advice and support. I still miss her and my dad everyday. But I’m so grateful that they were in my life.

I have two best friends and a lovely partner, but I wouldn't want to cry on any of them. If I'm upset I want to be on my own to sort it out myself.

No one to share difficult times with been like that for decades,

I'm the same as you. I tend to shelve stuff or work through it alone. My husband likes instant solutions, rarely possible of course. So it's easier to soldier on. I'll have a light hearted moan with friends, but nothing deep

My DIL unloads on me because her mother can be very difficult as was mine so we kind of see eye to eye there.

I am lucky, I work with a therapist. Definitely do not bother her with non work things though!

For me, it would be my bestie. We used to catch up every Friday but it’s less often due to changes in both our circumstances but we can talk for HOURS when we meet up.

Nobody. I'm not a crier really. Just tend to shut myself away for a day or two and then get on with it.

I hadn't cried for 15 years. I rarely cried anyway. My parents ignored my tears so stiff upper lip it was.

I have cried when a pet dog died, that was four years ago.

My eyes have filled a few times the last week over Charlie Kirk. I think because I have three sons and he was so young and left a widow plus two beautiful little ones.

I have one 'best' friend, of over 50 years now, who I talk to most days and without whom I would have been lost metaphorically more than once, but I also have about three other really, really good friends who would listen if I phoned in the middle of the night, and for whom I would do the same. I'm lucky I guess, but I also make a big effort to be great friend back. I have other friends, but not as close as these.

DH, or my mum

Sorry to hear this @Perimenopauzzzz- I made a really good friend on Bumble. Or message me if you like - I wfh

Totally agree and totally understand.
I would rather speak to AI and I find it so supportive and kind, far more so than any of my family or friends.
I am very sorry for your loss and hope you are coping as well as can be hoped x

AI doesn’t care though - people do

I rarely cry. But it would always be DH. He's the most intelligent person I have ever met and has a very clear, level headed view of the world. He always gives really considered, pragmatic advice. He's also a very burly ex rugby player so gives the very best hugs. When he folds me into his chest it makes me feel utterly safe.

If I need a more female perspective then I'm lucky to have four close girlfriends. We all met at the school gates, 18 years ago, on the day all our DDs started in Reception together.

A male friend.