Only two bridesmaids?

[Zubes]

I’ve recently got engaged and we are planning our wedding. I have two close friends, one of which I am her maid of honour to her wedding next year, and the other is a friend I met at work and we have kept the friendship going.

There is a 3rd “friend” I was considering asking to be a bridesmaid, but now I am not sure. We used to have a mutual work friend together, whom we both fell out with for different reasons. I have cut this person off, and she said the same but I have noticed her “liking” this persons posts on Instagram and supporting her business. I find this two faced after all she said to me about this person? It makes me feel like cutting off this person too as I cannot stand two faced-ness! AIBU?

I was also considering asking my SIL to be a bridesmaid, but I wasn’t asked to be one of hers at her wedding. I also wasn’t invited to her hen party & I feel like the only reason I’d be asking her is because I feel like such a loner/loser with no friends if I only have two bridesmaids stood with me :-(

I feel like I am the problem in all of this, I am 29 & only have two real friends.

You have cut someone off
had a fair bit of drama
and now even creating drama about who to have as your bridesmaid

this wedding will be…. Fun!

I got married nearly 20 years ago. Then it’s was utterly normal to have 2 bridesmaids and then maybe a little flower girl. Anyone with more than 3 or 4 would have raised eyebrows a bit. This fashion for a million bridesmaids is a recent and American driven phenomenon. And it’s all about the ‘look’ and not about the love.
Bridesmaids should be only the people who are the most supportive friends. If they are causing angst and headaches then don’t bother.
2 bridesmaids is plenty.

Two is plenty. I had one.

2 is plenty, one is fine, none is perfectly Ok, quite normal to have younger relatives - I had my 11 year old future sil at my first wedding, no adults at all.

2 is a completely normal number of bridesmaids. That's what I had.

2 is very normal. I’m 40 and I only have one best friend. The rest are work friends etc. And I’m close to my cousins.

I had two bridesmaids. That's normal isn't it?

I had no bridesmaids. Totally don’t see the point of them! One of the best things you can do with your life is learn to stop worrying about what other people think. It’s very liberating. Just do what feels right to you.

Seriously read back what you have written and look in the mirror remind yourself you are a 29 year old grown adult and really think about how you sound. Im only a bit older then you and I haven't worried about who like what on social media or had petty fallouts with friends since being a teenager. This isn't how adults act and think. Focus on your own life and don't worry about what others are doing it doesn't effect you.

Your work friend is allowed to forgive and and try to have a positive relationship with your old friend. It's a bit dramatic to call her two-faced for being pleasant to someone.

It's perfectly fine to have two bridesmaids, I had none!

Oh, lordy.

Two bridesmaids is a perfectly fine number to have. I have lots of friends and only had two bridesmaids.

I'm cringing at the idea of you not making someone a bridesmaid because she liked the Instagram posts of someone you have fallen out with. You're nearly 30, not in high school. Time to start behaving like an adult.

Just have the two (or save yourself money and drama and have none)

Two is a perfectly normal number of bridesmaids.

But cutting off a friend because she’s liked a few Instagram posts? Come on OP, if you want more friends then don’t seek drama when it’s unnecessary.

Two is normal - I had 5 - but that was because it was all nieces or none! Mind you the “Best Man” was a 6 year old and we had no speeches.

it was our perfect wedding!!

Yes YABU and if you want to cut this friend off because she liked some Instagram posts then that probably explains why you don’t have many friends left.

Two is a normal amount of bridesmaids. Bridesmaids don’t stand at the front with you in British weddings anyway. They sit down after walking down the aisle.

Five people sign the marriage certificate. The celebrant, the happy couple and two witnesses. That’s all. DH and I had one bridesmaid and one best man. Neat, tidy.

Any more than that and you have formed a committee. Remember that a camel is a horse built by a committee. Don’t allow the camel to be built.

My daughter and SIL got married last week. They didn’t have any bridesmaids or a best man. They still had a “proper” wedding.

It is your special day. You want bridesmaids who you feel comfortable and relaxed with. Choose those who will support you. Two is just fine. You should never choose bridesmaids on the basis of feeling you ought to or you owe them something.

In the nicest possible way, focus on the wedding as a day to celebrate and cement the love you have for your husband, not how many bridesmaids you have. This is about your husband and you - a wedding to start a marriage. It’s not a performance. It’s not a display of how many friends you have. It’s a celebration of your love and commitment.

I had 1 MOH and DH and 1 best man.

Unless you are royal and getting married in St Paul's- a multitude of BM's etc can look cheap! Don't forget that YOU should be paying for certain things and having lots will increase your overall costs.

Maybe look at all the 'drama' and remember that you are a grown woman- not a teen! Are you actually mature enough to get married?

Reframe it and think how lucky you are to have two people you can rely on and bring you joy and companionship, and stand by you on such an important day, invested in your happiness. The not enough bridesmaids stuff is just noise but actual real friends are worth treasuring.

Maybe if you stopped cutting off your friends you would have more of them?
But 2 bridesmaids is fine.

I think provided your train is no longer than 15 feet, two bridesmaids will be sufficient.