ANNOYING NEIGHBOUR

[Flowercandy]

Hi all I've got a neighbour who's lovely known him few years now on and off friendships and nothing more. But as of late we been hanging out he does massages etc and offered me one i said yes that's fine there's been flirting etc but just friendly flirt nothing more. Anyway i had a massage he then strips to his boxers it was a bit wierd i laughed it off and told him that i felt fine with the massage and no more is needed. He's very controlling in a way aswell like his texts are like why you not getting back to me why take ao long etc. So today he said he gave a shop keeper lady w gift now this shop keeper does nothing for him it was just a gift out of goodness of his heart. But with me he's then text me saying i would give you nice things but your to selfish etc. Im thinking what because your more concerned about giving me massages and touching me in weirds ways you got the hump. Says of i meet him and go to his place and help him out he'll pay for my company. I have to do things for any gift not that im wanting gifts. He boosts about giving random people gifts but they do nothing for him there just random shop keepers. His behaviour is very odd and controlling. And he said ill be sorry when he's not there anymore etc. Is this normal behaviour or is it just me being over the top he gets very annoying and controlling on texts.

You’ve posted about this recently as well I think.

You sound quite vulnerable and naive; he is a sexual predator, manipulative and not a lovely person at all. Do you have anyone you can go to for real life advice? Are you involved with any services or a church or any groups? It would be good to talk about this situation to someone in a position of trust so they can help you understand how wrong the whole thing is.

He is not a friend to you and I’m worried you are at risk here.

Your neighbour isn’t annoying as your title states, he’s a complete weirdo. Avoid him, block him and if he escalates report him to the police.

"Hi neighbour. Unfortunately, I am not able to give you what you want and I'm not interested in a relationship with you or anything further. I don't want gifts etc.

Please don't message me anything further and if you text anything nasty I'll have to take it further and report it.

Thanks for understanding."

Send him that and block his number. Don't be manipulated by "I miss you" etc

He is literally giving grooming vibes.. so he will buy you holidays and toiletries (prob stolen or fake) in exchange for massages aka sex... You want more for yourself than this surely, so block him. You need to tell him to stop so if he takes it further and keeps contacting you can report it to the police.

Try and join a bookclub or local community centres, heck even church - make your face known at some of their cafes or events. You will soon make friends 🧡

He has mistaken you for a prostitute, stay away and be clear you are not going to give sex in return for money or gifts

He always says that im in the wrong and have no empathy because i don't respond to him straight away etc like i feel am i the one in the wrong for not communicating with him when he asks me things

Thank you yes i need to start finding female friends and going out a bit more been stuck in my flat and not feeling like doing much has lead me to find my neighbour and made me feel like i could talk to someone but he gets to sexual

You make no effort with me. Why should I give 99.9% and u 0.01%?

That's his text just now

Look, you can keep posting threads about him and posting all his texts etc, but that's not going to change anything is it?

You need to tell him you don't want anything more to do with him.

Block his number.

Stop letting him help you out with odd jobs.

Use the shop nextdoor with your head held high and ignore him.

Are you going take any of the advice offered on this thread?

Simple response, tell him not to bother. I think his behaviour is very concerning to be honest. Do everything you can to draw a line under this and get rid of him. If he persists, I’d consider reporting him for harassment.

Yes, OP is too tangled to follow

The man is clearly a nutcase, and quite possibly a sexual predator as well. My advice would be to contact your local police and tell them what is happening. Show them all the texts.

For all you know, he might already have a criminal record.

And stay away from him - he is starting to sound quite dangerously fixated on you. Do not answer your door to him under any circumstances, and don't answer texts or calls.

You need to tell him to leave you alone and say you don’t want anything from him! He’s not safe to be around and you seem to be rather vulnerable.

Thanks all he seems harmless and says he has good intentions and he tells me im the one in the wrong and that he has other women who treat him more respectfully. Like he does massages and took a pic of me laying on his massage bed and said can i use this for my website i said can u send me the pic also he never did. It feels like he says im in the wrong and im the one that needs ore empathy and understanding of others feelings

Asian he's from bangledesh but lived in London now has moved from another place also he moves around a bit

Have you posted about this guy before?

He most definitely doesn't seem harmless to me. And he is harming you psychologically/emotionally. If I understand correctly, he's managed to persuade you to undress for a massage, and taken photos of you on a massage table while he's wandering about in his pants? That's incredibly concerning - no legit masseur would behave in this way.

He sounds dangerous and you should keep away from him, and tell him to keep away from you. Be clear that you're not interested in any sort of relationship with him, then block him and do your shopping somewhere else.

I'd also consider telling the police and showing them his texts.

Yes i posted before about him as his texts were getting quite much he said he values his time and doesn't want to waste it on people that don't give him time like he does with them. It's just a bit odd I've never come across anything like it he makes me feel low and the bad one

Block and move on. He’s trying to manipulate guilt trip you into fucking him. Every time you accept something from him he racks it up on your I.O.U. List.

Take nothing else from him. There is a price to pay for it and it’s not money it’s sex.

Just tell him Im sorry John but this friendship isn’t going to work out.

Are you in the UK? Is he originally from another country by any chance where this behaviour is normalised and he thinks it’s all fine?

Yes im in the uk he's originally from bangledesh buy lives in uk now

Im guessing it’s normal there then.
It’s not normal here.

Defo keep away. Hes potentially dangerous if he doesn’t get what he wants after buying you things etc. That’s what he will say. “You owe me for what I did. So you need to do something for me now”.
Nope.
Id even suggest you move.

Christ, he’s as dodgy as they come 🚩🚩🚩 are a flying.
id be avoiding him at all costs.

He also tells me that the other shop keepers keep looking at him and he feels they fancy him etc so he takes gifts for them then moans about they don't give him any respect or anything back like free stuff from the shop they give them then he moans that they didn't appreciate it or something its all very odd

Have you followed anyone’s suggestions? Have you messaged him ending the friendship and then blocked him yet? Because otherwise I don’t see the point of this thread, unless part of you is enjoying the attention from him? That could be the case if you’re feeling lonely. Fill your life without him

I don't want this to come across patronising

But I feel like I should ask

Do you understand that his behaviour is wrong?
Do you see that it's not advisable to have massages if he's doing this?

I'm just not sure whether you really see it from your posts