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Original poster

Keeping a secret from dd (a nice one!)

66 replies

Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 11:50

Dd is 12 and absolutely loves a particular band. Dh is a huge fan too, so she’s loved them since she was tiny. Like properly loves them. They were the sole reason she wanted to learn guitar and piano since she was little, so she could play their songs, which she does, constantly.

They are doing a gig in our closest city next March and since she heard, she has had a countdown for tickets being on sale today.

Now, as dh is a huge fan of them too and he managed to get pre sale tickets two days ago for them both to go.

We are going to give them to dd as a Christmas present. The presale ones come with a limited edition vinyl and art work which the will love, and the tickets really weren’t cheap. It is her main Christmas present (and my husbands!)

Come Christmas morning, she will be thrilled. A double bonus is that the gig is on her birthday.

Dh is going to tell her tonight that he couldn’t get them, but that we will try and get them closer to the time when people are selling them on - by that time, Christmas will have been and gone anyway and she will have them.

I just feel so shit as she loves them, seeing them live is her little dream! She’ll be gutted tonight thinking we couldn’t get tickets.

OP posts:
Doseofreality · 19/09/2025 11:51

That’s really mean to do that to her.

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 11:51

Doseofreality · 19/09/2025 11:51

That’s really mean to do that to her.

Which is why I posting here to get opinions on what to do!

I don’t know if we should keep them until Xmas or tell her now. But the ticket is her main Christmas present, it was expensive.

OP posts:
JadziaD · 19/09/2025 11:54

I think she's old enough that you should tell her that you've boughtt her christmas present early and it's the tickets. The disappointment that she didn't get tickets will be crushing and I don't think the excitement at christmas is worth the pain of the next 3 months.

Dont' tell her about the extra things you get with the tickets - perhaps those can be her surprise on christmas day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Christmas
ErlingHaalandsManBun · 19/09/2025 11:54

Yeah sorry, I don't think I could do that to my DD. Let her be massively upset and disappointed just so I get to surprise her on Xmas morning.

You are doing that for you (so she gets to say how amazing you are for getting the tickets) and not for her.

I know so many people will say about kids learning to deal with disappointment and its a life lesson blah blah blah but no, personally I just couldn't keep this from her.

Just my opinion but it feels kinda mean.

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 11:55

JadziaD · 19/09/2025 11:54

I think she's old enough that you should tell her that you've boughtt her christmas present early and it's the tickets. The disappointment that she didn't get tickets will be crushing and I don't think the excitement at christmas is worth the pain of the next 3 months.

Dont' tell her about the extra things you get with the tickets - perhaps those can be her surprise on christmas day.

Yes, that was my thinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 11:56

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 19/09/2025 11:54

Yeah sorry, I don't think I could do that to my DD. Let her be massively upset and disappointed just so I get to surprise her on Xmas morning.

You are doing that for you (so she gets to say how amazing you are for getting the tickets) and not for her.

I know so many people will say about kids learning to deal with disappointment and its a life lesson blah blah blah but no, personally I just couldn't keep this from her.

Just my opinion but it feels kinda mean.

No, it’s not that.

Dh was just genuinely wanting it to be a surprise for her at Christmas. But we both thought, “not sure if that’s a shit idea” this morning when she reminded him a thousand times about it being sale day today.

OP posts:
KittyPup · 19/09/2025 11:57

I would try and keep them as a surprise, personally. I would gauge her reaction though to when you say DH couldn’t get any today. If she seems okay then hold out until Christmas. If she seems really upset and disappointed then say something like they’re having a second release in a couple of days so we’ll try again type thing.

augustusglupe · 19/09/2025 11:57

I’ve had this scenario many times with my DD.
Don’t say anything atall and then surprise her at Christmas.
How does he think that’s a good idea? Telling her he couldn’t get them? 🤷🏻‍♀️ The other poster is right, it’s just a bit mean. Tell him to stay quiet.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 19/09/2025 11:58

Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 11:56

No, it’s not that.

Dh was just genuinely wanting it to be a surprise for her at Christmas. But we both thought, “not sure if that’s a shit idea” this morning when she reminded him a thousand times about it being sale day today.

Show quote history

Okay accepted.

But I honestly do think, I just wouldn't want to see my DD being bitterly disappointed and upset like that for no reason.

I agree with another poster, why not keep the other extras for her for Christmas?

I think she is old enough to know that this is her main Christmas present and she will be fine about that.

Complet · 19/09/2025 11:59

I also think that’s quite mean. Why would you purposefully want her to be heartbroken? She would also be really conflicted at Christmas as she’d be happy she has a ticket, but sad you lied to her. I think it would taint the present for her. The free album is a nice surprise, you can put that away for a Christmas present.

Pancakeflipper · 19/09/2025 12:00

If she is really really really madly into this bamd, I would tell her - she'll be so excited insist of being sad/wondering if can tickets until Christmas. The anticipation, looking forward knowing you've tickets is part of the event for me.

As PP says, she's 12, if she knows the value of things then she's able to manage a very early Christmas gift.

caringcarer · 19/09/2025 12:01

JadziaD · 19/09/2025 11:54

I think she's old enough that you should tell her that you've boughtt her christmas present early and it's the tickets. The disappointment that she didn't get tickets will be crushing and I don't think the excitement at christmas is worth the pain of the next 3 months.

Dont' tell her about the extra things you get with the tickets - perhaps those can be her surprise on christmas day.

This.

JadziaD · 19/09/2025 12:01

DD is still upsert that we couldn't get Taylor Swift tickets. I don't think you should underestimate how upsest she will be if you can't get them after all this build up. I know you've already said you're thinking of telling her but I'm just reiterating i thinkyou should .

I'd actually make a bit of a thing about it today. So you still get the pleasure of seeing her surprise and excitement.

Myfridgeiscool · 19/09/2025 12:02

I’d tell her today that you managed to get the tickets, she’ll be buzzing for months!
Give her the extra stuff and some merch for Christmas Day.

I got DD tickets for a band she wanted to see, it was far too exciting to not tell her!

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:02

KittyPup · 19/09/2025 11:57

I would try and keep them as a surprise, personally. I would gauge her reaction though to when you say DH couldn’t get any today. If she seems okay then hold out until Christmas. If she seems really upset and disappointed then say something like they’re having a second release in a couple of days so we’ll try again type thing.

We have had that situation before a couple of years ago.

She really wanted to go and see Harry Styles. I couldn’t get tickets. All that were left were VIP ones that we couldn’t afford. she was there looking at the tickets with me. She was disappointed but fine about it. She’s pretty laid back.

She absolutely loves Oasis too and really wanted to see them, but totally understood the ticket prices were too much for them, and again, was disappointed, but was fine about it.

I do understand this is totally different as we have tickets, just explaining that she doesn’t dwell on things she can’t control.

OP posts:
knackeredmu · 19/09/2025 12:03

I also think you're opening yourself up for a disaster - what if her friends get tickets and then offer her one, or she uses Twickets / other resale sites and asks

think you ll have to tell her

Seeyouincourtyoufool · 19/09/2025 12:03

I would have no issue with saying you couldn't get them to be honest. Life is full of disappointment and she will be thrilled on xmas day.

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:05

knackeredmu · 19/09/2025 12:03

I also think you're opening yourself up for a disaster - what if her friends get tickets and then offer her one, or she uses Twickets / other resale sites and asks

think you ll have to tell her

Believe me, her friends have never heard of them. It’s Gorillaz. Not the sort of band most 12 year old girls are in to.

Not many these days are massive Damon Albarn fans!

OP posts:
prepareforharvest · 19/09/2025 12:06

I think when she asks if you got tickets just mysteriously say “You’ll have to wait until Christmas to find out” and don’t say anything more/discuss seats or plans until then. At 12 she’ll be old enough to understand that means yes but it’ll still be exciting for her to physically receive them and start discussing it at Christmas

CharlieKirkRIP · 19/09/2025 12:09

She’s 12 and is enough to understand that the tickets form part or all of her Christmas present.

Never lie to your child even if it’s a white lie about a gift. It sets a precedent for telling lies and the lines can blur over what is acceptable or not.

Also, if a classmate tells her their parents got tickets then that’s going to make her feel rubbish.

Surprises of this nature done to a child are cruel.

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:09

prepareforharvest · 19/09/2025 12:06

I think when she asks if you got tickets just mysteriously say “You’ll have to wait until Christmas to find out” and don’t say anything more/discuss seats or plans until then. At 12 she’ll be old enough to understand that means yes but it’ll still be exciting for her to physically receive them and start discussing it at Christmas

That’s what dh put forward this morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:12

CharlieKirkRIP · 19/09/2025 12:09

She’s 12 and is enough to understand that the tickets form part or all of her Christmas present.

Never lie to your child even if it’s a white lie about a gift. It sets a precedent for telling lies and the lines can blur over what is acceptable or not.

Also, if a classmate tells her their parents got tickets then that’s going to make her feel rubbish.

Surprises of this nature done to a child are cruel.

I would stake my life on none of her classmates going, or even knowing who the band are, that’s not a worry!

OP posts:
OnlyOneAdda · 19/09/2025 12:17

I do a LOT of Ticketmaster queuing 🙄for DD superfans. There's LOADS of availability and no queues right now for Gorillaz. It's not believable you didn't manage to get any / it's highly likely if you say you didn't she'll hop on Ticketmaster herself and see tickets there. Even if they sell out across the day (unlikely I'd say) there will be plenty of resales.

If you'd landed some Ariana Grande tickets it would be much more believable to say you didn't and keep them a secret until Christmas! (Tried and failed for a collective 8hrs for other DD on Tue presale and Thur general sale)

However that aside - I just think it would be much nicer to tell her and let her be excited and look forward to it and that outweighs the importance of all Christmas presents being a total surprise.

Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:26

OK SO-

Dh is working from home and it’s obviously been on his mind all morning too as he came in to chat about it. I’ve just let him have a quick read of this thread.

We were wavering massively on what to do.

He’s going to tell her when she gets home from school that he’s got the tickets for them to go.

We are going to keep the album and artwork as her Christmas present (she will be absolutely thrilled with those), along with some token gifts. PIL are notorious for going over board at Christmas with the children, so it’s not like she will miss out on things to open.

Looks like her birthday present will be money to spend on merch at the gig 😆

I was just thinking about future gigs. She’s a massive music fan and there will be many more in future that we genuinely can’t get tickets for or can’t afford - I wouldn’t want her having the hope that the tickets would materialise for her birthday or Christmas.

I am going to have one super excited child this evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peteryourhorseisheree · 19/09/2025 12:28

Thanks again all - I don’t know many people in real life, so it’s nice to be able to hop on here and get an opinion when you are wavering on something!

Dh just said, the hope in her little face when she got out the car this morning, he was set on keeping it a surprise but after that, he was really swaying to telling her this evening.

OP posts: