Would you expect to mark this "anniversary"

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BF and I started very much as "just" friends. Other people were assuming we were a couple long before we were aware of it ourselves.

We're middle aged, neither has any ambition to marry or live together, but we have a nice comfortable life, having fun, travelling together and generally being there for one another.

Were coming up to a year since we got very drunk and started snogging each other, and the rest, as they say, is history.

An anniversary of when you got together has always seemed a bit naff to me, but if there is never to be a wedding anniversary...?

As a joke, maybe

but I doubt I would remember

and if I did something and partner didn’t…. I wouldn’t even remotely be upset or offended

Have you said I love you to one another?

Yes, lots 🤣

It's become something very serious/important, but we're agreed that living together is over rated once child rearing is out of the way.

Do you want to celebrate it? If yes, I’d just be open and chat to him about it. Celebrating anniversaries is a personal thing and it’s completely up to you. For what it’s worth, DH and I are married but the ‘anniversary’ we choose to celebrate is actually the day we first met (rather than our wedding day or ‘got together’ date). That day is just more important to us personally. I wouldn’t think it’s at all naff if you decide between the two of you that you’d like to mark the occasion!

So clearly you want to mark it

So go for it

but don’t get in an arse if he doesn’t remember or reciprocate!

It’s our 5 year anniversary today… I realised at about lunchtime and said “Oh! Happy anniversary btw” and that was it.

Might have something nice for dinner over the weekend, maybe. But that’ll be it.

Romance is dead. We’re tired adults with stuff to do 😂

Oh no, it's the other way round. He's very excited about making it to a year.

My husband and I were together for 15 years before we got married so it was nice to celebrate such a long relationship. We didn't celebrate every year and cos our 'anniversary' was literally two days after my birthday that often took precedence but 1 year, 5, 10 and 15 years felt like an achievement. This year is our 5th year married but our 20th year together so we are focusing more on the 20. If you don't want to marry and are happy as you are why not celebrate longevity. You don't have to shout it from the rooftops but getting a card or gift, going out for a fancy meal or having a date night at the theatre or cinema something a little more than what you usually do is all that's needed to mark the occasion.

We celebrate the day we got together. We were friends first.

Really? About “making it” .,, ehy has there been tricky times??!

and what makes you think he’s “very excited”? Has he booked somewhere? Said he’s planned something?

You don’t think he’ll get in an arse with you if you don’t reciprocate?

We started the same way - we used to celebrate our anniversary of getting together each year. We lived together after 6 years and married after 14 - we are very happy. Yes CELEBRATE - falling in love with a friend is a wonderful thing OP- congratulations

No, we're just an unlikely couple, which is why we genuinely didn't realise what was developing. We enjoy the joke that no one would have expected this to happen.

I know he's excited because he keeps telling me, and we've been talking about how we should mark the occasion.

I wouldn't dream of setting anyone up to fail by expecting them to reciprocate on something they don't know is happening, and I don't think he would either.

I think if he wants to acknowledge it in some way, then you should make the effort to mark it in a way that you’re comfortable with and he’s happy with too. I think making a bit of effort with something like this that is important to your partner, even if it’s not to you, is part of being in a relationship. Go for a nice meal, have a weekend away…..hardly ‘naff’.

Ok so…. He’s excited and you’re making plans (like what?) together. And you’re just asking if others think it’s daft?

🤷‍♀️ each to their own. Seems a good day to “celebrate” than any other

I can’t get my head around a middle aged man getting “very excited” about and constantly talking about…. The year anniversary of the first snog with his girlfriend!

Aww. It's true this isn't an ordinary middle aged man 😅

No, he doesn’t sound it!

Update us with what he delivers!

Make dinner reservations? Or get matching tattoos - whatever floats your boat

Been with my partner 9 years, we mark the anniversary of our first date by taking a city break somewhere. We don’t do cards or gifts or even acknowledge the actual day, but we always take a trip around that time.

We often used to forget our anniversary, my mum (long gone now) would usually mention it, we were just too busy wrapped up in work, etc. We do now though a bottle of bubbly and a nice meal, really nice to have a bit of a celebration once in a while.

Yes, I would.

DP and I consider our first date as the start of our relationship (we went home together - so first everything 😅) and we will absolutely be celebrating it.

You can definitely have anniversaries that are not marriage related. I plan to keep celebrating our ‘got together’ anniversary even after we’re married, because I love an excuse to celebrate. 🥂

My DH asked me how we are celebrating first date day as it’s 47 years this week.

I always think that's the real anniversary

I think that's lovely. Have a wonderful anniversary!