Moments that changed you life forever?

[Seeyouincourtkeith]

A few weeks ago my Daughters best friend was tragically killed at the age of 19. I know our lives have changed forever and my perception of the world will never be the same. I have ended an 8 year toxic relationship that I had clung onto but now I just think fuck it life is way to short for this sort of shit.

My other one is the phone ringing at 5am to tell me to get to the hospital as my Dad had taken a turn for the worse, I knew he was gone before I even got there and he was.

What was yours?

Similar story. Sending love.

Opening the bathroom door to find my super-fit husband dead

Finding out my H was having an affair when I was pregnant. I was actually much better off without him in my life. Never saw dc or paid but he lost out.
Having twins (amazing but exhau).
Having an operation that went wrong.
Loosing my job due to said operation (very negative) and ability to drive (was actually ok and I found my way further afield on public transport than I had been able to driving due to ill health limiting my ability).
All changed my life in different ways.

Finding out I was very unexpectedly pregnant at 34. My now DH massively stepped up when I thought he didn't even want children. We had our now DD and I really turned my life around. I'd been suffering from an eating disorder for almost 20 years and having my DD triggered something in myself that made me stop. She is my reason for being healthy and getting help.

Losing people to death. Definitely changes me, removes something but also adds other things, like strength, passion for life etc.

I have severe PTSD from an awful labour and delivery and decided I was one and done after DD(now 14). Her dad was abusive and I left him when she was a toddler.
When she was 12, despite taking precautions, I fell pregnant unexpectedly with a man I'd been with for only 6 months, I was a terrified mess but had DD2 who is now 14 months, and then DD3 who is 2weeks old tomorrow. I'm living with and engaged to the two youngest girls dad and oldest DD gets on great with him.
Falling pregnant definitely wasn't part of the plan, especially not 6 months into a relationship but it really made my life whole- I did not see it playing out this positively either!

I’m so sorry about your DD’s friend. It really hit home as my DD lost her boyfriend at 19. He was murdered 2 years ago. The first year was particularly difficult. She attended her university in a haze (it was her first year). It was really tough as she couldn’t feel the same excitement or even simple joys all her peers did. And she felt guilty for just being alive. We pushed her to go as sitting home in her childhood house in the town they fell in love in was a danger she might get sucked into unending grief cycle. Still, leaving her to her college was gut wrenching and DH and I worried if we’d done the right thing by forcing her to go.

It was the right thing and I can see that now 2 plus years later. But the worry I had for her, and still do, doesn’t abate.

i still have my own sickening pain watching my DD crumble to the floor hearing the news he was gone. The days get better and as cliche as it sounds, time eases the pain.

The death of young people is a particularly cruel loss. We mourn all he could have become and the life she could have had with him or without him if he was still alive. Young love doesn’t always mean forever love but she’ll never get to know whether or not he was “the one”. She believes he was, which is somehow worse because she can’t know the future if he’d lived. She instead makes her future assuming she lost her soul mate.

My heart goes out to your daughter. She has experienced a great loss at a very young age.

getting the phone call to say my mum had had a bleed on the brain during the first lockdown no one allowed to hosp.
i was 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby, we were told overnight was critical.. I knew when the phone rang at 6am what I was going to be told before I even answered
shattered my heart into a million pieces I’ll miss her forever and it’s entirely changed me as a human , a mother , a friend , a wife . I wish I’d known the me I would of been with her in my life

The son of my parents friends, a boy I’d known all his life, died in a car accident when I was 17 and he was 15.
The shock alone changed me, I don’t think I really understood how someone could be here and then gone until that day.

And a positive one. We adopted our LO last year and less than 2 months later, I took him to a park and he fell over. I recognised his cry in the crowd and was on my feet before I’d even thought about it, and he came running to me calling Mummy.
An everyday thing for a lot of people but it really hit me that I loved him, and he was starting to feel safe enough to call for me, to know I’d help when he was in pain.
It’s changed me. I was so worried I’d be a rubbish parent, that LO wouldn’t take to me, that it would be all hard battles but it isn’t like that at all. It’s like he’s always been here and suddenly I’m not a nervous, self-conscious person, I’m Mummy and Mummy doesn’t mind making a tit of herself.

I love that so much, your positive, @FinallyMummy what a wonderful realisation to have had.

Mine was the day I found out I was pregnant. Had broken up with his deadbeat dad, we'd used protection and I nearly died of shock. However, 15 years later I still can't believe I get to be his mum <3

A near death experience which sorted out any dithering.
.my dm passing away. Over 15 years ago and I miss her every day.

Early 1980s. After 20 years in a job applied for internal promotion. Lost out to someone who had none of the required experience but a 2/2 degree in philosophy. I was disgusted and said as much. Friend remarked "well it may not be a very good degree but in the eyes of the management team he has a bit of paper you dont have" I told friend I was thinking of going to uni and getting my own "bit of paper" but I would not be happy with anything less than a 2/1. Friend said "Na, you will get a 1st". The following year I went to uni as a mature student, went through the full gamut of postgrad degrees and ended up as an academic. Never went back to the old job or the old city. Jealousy can be a very positive thing when it spurs you to achieve your potential.

Taking a phone call at 2am from my in laws. They had been out and returned to find that BIL had committed suicide using his car exhaust in the garage.

Discovering that my long before and extremely violent/abusive ex bf passed away from Covid in the very early days of 2020.
I had not seen him since I left many years ago, been in a very happy ltr for nany years now, but found out in 2022 by complete chance and completely froze, then vomited.
Not froze with sadness , but an odd combination of relief, peace & grief at the pointless damage & harm he caused myself & my family.

The worry of ever having to bump into him or deal with any more of his brutal messages instantly lifted, but I was literally frozen in time for a few days til it sank in properly.

I went to a pub locally that I’d never been in, big night out in the city planned but terrible fog, no buses no taxis, l wanted to stay in, friend who’s 18th it was, wanted to do something. We both met DHs in that pub

The day my Nan died. She was my favourite person ever, she raised me and I know then that everything had changed forever. Twenty years later I still miss her dreadfully.

There are some devastatingly sad reads on this thread. Much love to you all ❤

Without a shadow of a doubt 2024 changed me forever . Cancer , 8 hospital admissions, partial paralysis, ex breaking 5 of my ribs , having to have operation wide awake because of broken ribs , finding out ex had been having affair , ex making me homeless on day I was discharged from hospital whilst not being able to walk . Having a breakdown whilst homeless . The kindness of strangers who are now a huge part of my life (from MN) , finding a home , spending Christmas Day on my own without my children in my new home .