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What is the solution for children who don’t fit mainstream OR special school?

53 replies

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 10:15

My DS recently turned 5 and started in year 1 last week. He has SEN, nothing officially diagnosed but he isn’t NT and it’s very clear to see this compared to both older DS and his peers.

In reception I would say he thrived. He enjoyed exploring provision but also took part in some of the learning I.e phonics group and a maths group. He is ‘non verbal’ in a sense, though his speech is improving constantly and he is now beginning to communicate more with us so as I have always felt, this is just a matter of time.

He is very bright- can read full books and also knows most times tables, can do crazy addition mentally etc. The school often underestimates him and are still sending sheets with the most basic phonics on and ‘red words’ like ‘the’ when he can read entire Julia Donaldson or Supertato books and does every night at bedtime. I have requested reading books multiple times but get ignored. Not sure if they think I’m making it up so I’ve started recording him reading to show them which may sound unhinged but I’m tired of him being underestimated.

Anyway, it’s been one full week in year 1 and I was hauled into a meeting today with the new SENCO lead (changed 3 times in a year) to explain he isn’t setting into year 1 at all. The trust transitions abruptly from play based learning in reception to expecting them to sit behind a desk most of the day in year 1 and so naturally, he’s struggling with this. My older DS also struggled and complained for months about hating it and finding it boring. I remember him becoming quite upset one day because in art they were no longer able to paint whatever they chose and instead had to paint what was requested. It’s a shock to the system when they’re still only five so very small I feel.

I did remind her it’s only been a week but she’s adamant already that he won’t slot into their way of doing things. She admitted he’s clearly intelligent and isn’t special school level but that he needs 1:1 and they can’t provide this. My question is what happens with children who fit somewhere in the middle? Or is it just this particular school isn’t right for him and I should be searching for one with more play based learning in year 1 and 2?

I would consider homeschooling but DH and I work FT in hectic careers we need in order to keep financially afloat.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 15/09/2025 10:18

They should be telling you what the alternative is. If they aren’t working with you to find a solution, then they definitely aren’t the right fit for your family.

ComfortFoodCafe · 15/09/2025 10:19

Change schools. My eldest has autism & a LD. the first school was bloody awful, they managed to allow him to escape the classroom and he turned up on my doorstep even with a 1:1!
So I found a much smaller mainstream school with a class of 15, he thrived. He did eventually go to a sen school for senior school but best thing I ever did moving him.
Give it a go before trying other options.

FuzzyWolf · 15/09/2025 10:21

The alternative is a private school with small classes that nurture. You’ll find some of these schools have a high number of SEN children and parents who refuse to see or accept it whilst others have high numbers of EHCPs because those children have parents who have fought for the right provision because they know it’s what their child needs but they can’t otherwise afford it.

Unfortunately the reality is that lots of children with SEN or who are academically capable (or bright) but not NT will spend their formative years really struggling.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Teachingagain · 15/09/2025 10:23

Why can’t they get the ed pych in for advice and start applying for an ECHP?

But there is no provision in our area for bright autistic kids.

UnbeatenMum · 15/09/2025 10:24

Is repeating reception an option if he's only just 5? He might be more ready for year 1 in a year.

DS is autistic, suspected ADHD, speech delayed but fully verbal, we think average IQ. He started mainstream reception a year late (summer born) and he has a full time 1:1 via an EHCP. He definitely wouldn't have coped a year earlier either with reception or year 1 but he is doing OK with all this in place.

Alternatively there are specialist schools around that are suitable for autistic children with average or high intelligence but I think it's very area dependent.

Either way you definitely need an EHCP.

PluirinSneachta · 15/09/2025 10:24

Is there a TA in the classroom?

At the very least, I would expect some breaks for him, and differentiated work and tasks (sensory toys, etc)

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 10:26

We are going to start the process for an EHCP. He does have a TA but the SENCO lead said she is split between DS and another child with higher needs so it’s a challenge.

They do have a sensory/breakout room he goes to but I think their issue is he is going there more times than not due to being ‘disruptive’ in the main classroom because he won’t sit still behind the desk for long and is wanting to walk around as he had the freedom to in reception.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 15/09/2025 10:28

Couple of questions:

you say he’s “non verbal”.
how is he communicating if he’s non verbal? Do you use AAC? Sign language?

many schools will struggle with a child who does not communicate verbally. Phonics is designed for hearing and speaking children and it’s the method schools are required to use to teach reading and writing.

the step up to year 1 is common to most schools. Some schools will have a nicer transition than others - may take more time etc - but pretty much all state and most private have made that transition by the end of year 1.

does he have a diagnosis and/or an EHCP?

there are an increasing number of special schools/units attached to mainstream schools that specialise in autism and will take children who are very bright but are not able socially or emotionally to fit into the mainstream system.

i live near Cambridge and there are a lot near me.

if you get in touch with your local authority they’ll be able to tell you.

you will need a significant amount of paperwork to access one though.

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 10:28

I will also say that he’s genuinely excited to go to school every day so far and is dragging me to the door shouting ‘school time’ which is a huge shift from last year. Probably for the first term in reception he hated going in and mornings were very difficult but he seems so happy in school this year yet they’re saying he isn’t doing well.

OP posts:
Handsomesoapdish · 15/09/2025 10:29

Do you have specialist units adjacent to mainstream classes/schools in the UK? DS attended one while he transitioned to mainstream over a period of years spending more time in mainstream year on year. It worked brilliantly. Expectations were matched to him specifically and he progressed further and further towards mainstream until he was ready for it with some classroom support. That is the middle ground we have where I am.

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 10:30

Octavia64 · 15/09/2025 10:28

Couple of questions:

you say he’s “non verbal”.
how is he communicating if he’s non verbal? Do you use AAC? Sign language?

many schools will struggle with a child who does not communicate verbally. Phonics is designed for hearing and speaking children and it’s the method schools are required to use to teach reading and writing.

the step up to year 1 is common to most schools. Some schools will have a nicer transition than others - may take more time etc - but pretty much all state and most private have made that transition by the end of year 1.

does he have a diagnosis and/or an EHCP?

there are an increasing number of special schools/units attached to mainstream schools that specialise in autism and will take children who are very bright but are not able socially or emotionally to fit into the mainstream system.

i live near Cambridge and there are a lot near me.

if you get in touch with your local authority they’ll be able to tell you.

you will need a significant amount of paperwork to access one though.

No diagnosis but we are starting the process for the EHCP now.

Non verbal in the sense he doesn’t consistently use language to communicate his needs and will sometimes hand pull and point but this is hugely improving. He can do phonics and read.

OP posts:
ComeTheMoment · 15/09/2025 11:03

SEN (and former class) teacher here. Is this a state school or a very badly run private school? It's extraordinary that School are putting this onto you. This school is where your child has been placed and they should be doing their utmost to meet his needs.

24Dogcuddler · 15/09/2025 11:07

Transition from YR to Y1 is a big leap for lots of children especially if your DS has additional needs.
They are obviously aware that he needs support and it’s not great that they are being so negative after a week.

From your description of your lovely DS it sounds as though he’d be fine in the right supportive, inclusive mainstream.

There’s no one size fits all and sending him to a
“ sensory” room without any particular plan just won’t meet his needs.

Are school requesting the EHCNA or have you put a parental request in?

I expect he needs regular sensory / movement breaks which can be planned as in sensory circuits or outdoor learning/ active learning around school e.g.a shape hunt or incidental e.g.asking him to give out or collect items in class.

Is there an SEN support service where a specialist teacher can observe and advise?

I’d be looking for
Individual reward chart/ I am working for chart
Clear expectations and chunked learning followed by a favoured activity
Regular movement/ sensory breaks
Multisensory learning
Visual supports ( timetable/ now and next) and timers
Adaptive technology to support recording
Activities to develop fine manipulative skills
Small group or 1 to 1 intervention to support communication and social interaction skills.

I’d ask for a meeting and ask how they plan to facilitate his learning in Y1.

Octavia64 · 15/09/2025 11:08

Ok, well most specialist non mainstream placements require a diagnosis.

it sounds like he is significantly delayed in some areas while being ahead in others. This is a tricky presentation.

At school they rely on basically peer pressure and social expectations to create an environment where one teacher can teach 30 kids. Reception is EYFS and continuous provision etc, year 1 is transition and by year 2 it’s sit at a desk and do what the teacher tells you and the vast majority of kids go along with that as they want to please the teacher and are emotionally and socially capable of it.

many kids with SN start in mainstream, and reception is not generally a problem as it’s continuous provision and play based learning. So if they choose not to engage the TA or teacher will pretty much catch them at the point they are ready to do the adult led activity.

it’s not really possible to disrupt others learning substantially in reception as they only really do ten minutes carpet/whole class time at a go and most kids can manage that with the aid of wobble cushions etc.

in year 1 the teacher will be working very hard on getting them ready for learning. They’ll have done some sitting at a desk in reception, but there will be much more of it, and crucially the whole class will be sitting at desks for maybe half an hour or so.

it’s much, much more obvious if a child isn’t picking up on the cues that they are expected to do what the others are doing and is wandering off wanting to do their own thing.

realistically a child doing this in year 1 is going to be continually redirected to the teacher led activity.

the exception is if they have SN significant enough to require a 1:1 in which case their TA will help them access the activity and will wander with them or take them out for breaks or similar.

so your child is going to be continually redirected to do the activity that the class is doing.

it does also sound like school are completely unaware that he can read. What did his report from last year say about reading and writing? He should have had reading books all year coming home and you writing in a reading diary.

is he actually showing anything at all of what he can do in school?

Kirbert2 · 15/09/2025 11:12

That's the question, isn't it?

So far, DS who has just started Year 5 is managing well in mainstream school but that's because his school are incredibly supportive and he has a very good EHCP package. I dread him having to leave at the end of Year 6, to be honest.

He'd never be accepted to a special school and isn't autistic which would automatically rule out some special schools as well.

Witsend101 · 15/09/2025 11:14

I wouldn't consider changing schools until you have the ECHP as the support of the current school will help with the process as they should have evidence of what adjustments they have made /tried and what does and doesn't work. Also, although the Senco was negative your DS sounds like he is happy enough going there and that would make me think twice about rushing to move him until you have the full picture of what he needs (from experience an educational psychologist report can be eye opening) . I would also speak to his class teacher for first hand information about what is going on in class. The Senco sounded really unhelpful. Did she not have any suggestions at all? Have they tried things like wobble cushions or weighted kneepads etc.

SENMum1727 · 15/09/2025 11:22

School with a Sen unit or resource base where he’ll get more individual attention. Need to spend a percentage of the day in mainstream. Needs an EHCP for this.

Or a private school with a more child centred ethos. We have one with small class sizes and children vote for what themes they want to delve into each term. High number of SEN kids and high fees, no specialist training though.

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 11:48

24Dogcuddler · 15/09/2025 11:07

Transition from YR to Y1 is a big leap for lots of children especially if your DS has additional needs.
They are obviously aware that he needs support and it’s not great that they are being so negative after a week.

From your description of your lovely DS it sounds as though he’d be fine in the right supportive, inclusive mainstream.

There’s no one size fits all and sending him to a
“ sensory” room without any particular plan just won’t meet his needs.

Are school requesting the EHCNA or have you put a parental request in?

I expect he needs regular sensory / movement breaks which can be planned as in sensory circuits or outdoor learning/ active learning around school e.g.a shape hunt or incidental e.g.asking him to give out or collect items in class.

Is there an SEN support service where a specialist teacher can observe and advise?

I’d be looking for
Individual reward chart/ I am working for chart
Clear expectations and chunked learning followed by a favoured activity
Regular movement/ sensory breaks
Multisensory learning
Visual supports ( timetable/ now and next) and timers
Adaptive technology to support recording
Activities to develop fine manipulative skills
Small group or 1 to 1 intervention to support communication and social interaction skills.

I’d ask for a meeting and ask how they plan to facilitate his learning in Y1.

The LA’s SENCO lead was in one of these meetings a few months ago and actually said she doesn’t feel he meets the requirements for an EHCP but then I was sceptical this was to save money for the LA so unsure. He probably didn’t in reception because as has been pointed out here, it isn’t as noticeable when they’re able to freely move around the provision area. The shift to Y1 has been a shock I suppose and I always knew expecting him to sit there for lengths of time would be a challenge.

He does go to a breakout room but I think the argument is he needs this more than not and they can’t provide the 1:1 support to facilitate this. He is ‘disrupting’ the class in that he moves around the room and won’t sit still.

They keep asking me how they can help him concentrate as if I have any knowledge or expertise in the area. At home I think he acts completely differently and always has. I have told them he can read numerous times but suspect they think I’m lying or something because they never send home books and just give me sheets with the most basic phonics imaginable. He will sit at home calmly. I think they know this because so far I have assisted on all school trips at their request (had to use annual leave) because he will sit still with me but I guess doesn’t with staff.

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 15/09/2025 12:03

You definitely need an EHCP. Ignore anyone telling you DS doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCP. You may have to appeal, but it is possible and DS needs an EHCP. Do not believe everything the LA tells you.

There are other options. Some find (some) independent mainstream schools can work even if state MS doesn’t. Some find ARPs work (but there are also many DC who they don’t work for). For those who it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school, there is EOTAS/EOTIS. And there are a few SS who can cater for academically able DC - they don’t all require a diagnosis.

TheGoddessFrigg · 15/09/2025 12:09

and don't forget the LA has an legal duty to provide education to your child.

I'm very surprised - and disappointed- at the school's reaction. They need to be pursuing an EHCP and suggesting support options- not just trying to wipe their hands of it after a few weeks!

Beansandcheesearegood · 15/09/2025 12:11

Sorry I haven't read it all but there is Alternative Provision- look on your council website. If school can't meet need then a tutor would be required. Also there are Alternative provision placementes- farms etc. You do need an EHCP i think.

flawlessflipper · 15/09/2025 12:15

An EHCP isn’t required for AP. What a school can/will offered without an EHCP is mostly more limited to what can be offered via an EHCP.

WeDontTalkAbouther · 15/09/2025 12:17

There’s definitely a gap for a ‘mid range’ type of school if only the funding was available as what you describe is such a common issue , there are so many ND children needing a totally different type of education

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 12:19

They are happy to pursue an EHCP so that isn’t an issue, it was only the LA’s SENCO lead who felt he didn’t meet the requirements but this was in reception once he’d settled and he did thrive in that setting.

It makes me wonder how many other children are falling between the gaps. Not severe enough to warrant a special school but not NT enough to fit in mainstream, it must be quite commonplace.

OP posts:
Mumofteenandtween · 15/09/2025 12:20

SENCOhelp · 15/09/2025 11:48

The LA’s SENCO lead was in one of these meetings a few months ago and actually said she doesn’t feel he meets the requirements for an EHCP but then I was sceptical this was to save money for the LA so unsure. He probably didn’t in reception because as has been pointed out here, it isn’t as noticeable when they’re able to freely move around the provision area. The shift to Y1 has been a shock I suppose and I always knew expecting him to sit there for lengths of time would be a challenge.

He does go to a breakout room but I think the argument is he needs this more than not and they can’t provide the 1:1 support to facilitate this. He is ‘disrupting’ the class in that he moves around the room and won’t sit still.

They keep asking me how they can help him concentrate as if I have any knowledge or expertise in the area. At home I think he acts completely differently and always has. I have told them he can read numerous times but suspect they think I’m lying or something because they never send home books and just give me sheets with the most basic phonics imaginable. He will sit at home calmly. I think they know this because so far I have assisted on all school trips at their request (had to use annual leave) because he will sit still with me but I guess doesn’t with staff.

Actually you do know how they can help him concentrate. He needs work at the appropriate level. If someone was trying to teach me how to read “cat” I would get bored and wander off too.