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Original poster

Anyone else find cooking lonely?

57 replies

SaturdaysSunday · 11/09/2025 20:04

Family of 4, I'm the designated cook and I find it such a chore. I've been trying to work out what is it that I dislike so much about cooking, and it's that I find it really lonely!

I'm in the kitchen alone cooking the meal, serve it up and then it gets left for however long it takes for DP and DC to make their way downstairs.

We've tried meal boxes to get other family members to contribute to cooking and it worked for a week or two then defaulted back to me.

I've designed a wondeful family space as a kitchen, dining and sofa TV area and I looked up from the oven this evening and the other side of the room was in darkness

Anyone else here in solidarity that cooking is lonely? What can I do to try and get some enjoyment out of it.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 11/09/2025 20:06

Unfortunately the only thing that made family cooking tolerable for me was the fact that it was a legitimate time for me to be on my own…

I did sometimes get ds to cook with me and it was enjoyable. So set up a regular routine of cooking together?

Nessiesfoodprovider · 11/09/2025 20:06

This resonates.
I usually cook before my partner gets in from work, or if I'm working at home, I prep or cook at lunchtime sometimes. It doesn't feel quite so lonely in the middle of the day.
We have dogs who are in the kitchen, so they 'help', and I'll play music through my phone, so it's not as deathly silent.

ousontmeslunettes · 11/09/2025 20:07

Oh, I really like the alone time, I listen to a podcast, have a drunk, sometimes wine sometimes herbal tea. Sometimes light a candle.

But I get you, maybe you can try and référâmes it?

Or just let your family know and ask them to either pop in or help you?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food
ousontmeslunettes · 11/09/2025 20:08

But, I do not like it at all when I shout out "a table" (to the table) and people don't turn up pronto!

Lucy5678 · 11/09/2025 20:09

Who designated you? No adult needs a meal box to be able to cook, they just can’t be bothered. Time to ensure every capable member of the family does some cooking.

Motheranddaughter · 11/09/2025 20:09

I love escaping to the kitchen
Door closed,music on , glass of wine
A combined kitchen/diner/sitting room is my idea of hell

PeachSnail · 11/09/2025 20:10

I actually quite like the solitude as it gives me time to just relax and listen to a podcast... Podcasts are great as they're kind of like having company without actually having company, if you see what I mean.

AllrightNowBaby · 11/09/2025 20:14

I love cooking alone, I find it calming and therapeutic, I wouldn’t like the idea of someone faffing around while I’m doing it.
Music on, lovely oniony/garlicky smells, getting everything coming together at the same time.
Great feeling….

mrssunshinexxx · 11/09/2025 20:15

Put a podcast on and enjoy the peace

Hayley1256 · 11/09/2025 20:15

I love cooking alone, I listen to a podcast or watch a show on my tablet

Original poster
SaturdaysSunday · 11/09/2025 20:19

Maybe I'm doing it wrong haha! I work at home alone all day, so a bit of a chat while I'm cooking would be enjoyable.

We do have a separate sitting room too.

And to the poster who said they hate when their family don't come when they call to say dinners ready - that's the other part of cooking I hate! It can feel so unappreciated when people swan down 15 mins + later

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 11/09/2025 20:26

I love cooking and for me it's the one time I don't have to deal with people when I come home from work.

But - I have DD and DH set the table, help when needed and we eat together, so if someone is upstairs, they come down at least 15 minutes before the meal is ready.

DH is the designated person dealing with the dishes.

thenightsky · 11/09/2025 20:28

And to the poster who said they hate when their family don't come when they call to say dinners ready - that's the other part of cooking I hate! It can feel so unappreciated when people swan down 15 mins + later

I really don't understand that. I shout 'dishing up' and there's a flurry of people racing in to set the table, get their drinks and start eating asap. In fact, its the only time I see DS move quickly. Grin

verycloakanddaggers · 11/09/2025 20:29

Call them before it is finished, they can help by setting table, getting drinks, serving, choosing music etc.

I think you need to stop being so subservient - tell the family you want it to be more of a team thing.

PangolinPan · 11/09/2025 20:31

I know what you mean OP. I also get a bit fed up of being stood up for so long but I'm lazy!

I do have some kitchen tunes to get me a bit revved up and sometimes put some trash TV in my iPad.

Tootingbec · 11/09/2025 20:33

Oh god really dislike cooking with other people “helping” or faffing around me whittering on after a long day at work!

I like the solitude to be left alone with the radio or a podcast - find it a great way to decompress after work sometimes and at the weekend it gives me something satisfying to do if I in the mood.

I am however heartily sick of the pressure to cook for the family (DH does about 50% though) - if it was just me and DH I would probably only cook 2 or 3 times a week.

KateMiskin · 11/09/2025 20:35

Not lonely but dull as fuck. I only get through it by listening to a podcast.

Xiaoxiong · 11/09/2025 20:39

When I'm home working I usually make something like a one pot meal or a traybake, which I prep earlier in the day eg in my lunch break, and stick in the oven around an hour before dinner. Then when everyone else gets home, the kitchen is long since clean and tidy, dinner is ready and no cooking needs doing.

That being said I love to listen to podcasts while I cook, or sometimes call family or friends.

RelativePitch · 11/09/2025 20:39

Yes I get so lonely too! I call DP in and see if he'd like a little job to do which of course he doesn't, but it's just because I want the company. Failing that I listen to LBC, but then I get news overdose.

Pamspeople · 11/09/2025 20:41

Why are you doing all the cooking?

mismomary · 11/09/2025 20:43

I am happy in the kitchen, have a glass of wine, put something on tv that only I like watching. Me time!

cheesycheesy · 11/09/2025 20:44

I love it. Some time to wind down away from the family

senua · 11/09/2025 20:51

Who started this idea that cooking is a sociable thing to do? Do you expect company whilst vacuuming? No.
Whilst doing the laundry? No.
So why whilst cooking?
Eating is the sociable bit, not the cooking.

Kisskiss · 11/09/2025 20:54

I feel the same as you OP. I hate cooking alone and then having to tell people their dinner is ready and then waiting… feels more like being a skivvy than part of a family. Sometimes now my toddler will sit with me and do his colouring whilst I cook and it’s much better!

SeaAndStars · 11/09/2025 21:11

Perhaps you're just fed up with the drudge of it, year in year out.
Your DP and, if they're old enough your DC should take a turn.
They might realise how much work it is and be more appreciative.

It would really annoy me if after all my hard work nobody could be bothered to arrive on time.

One night you should just not cook. Get yourself something nice and let them go hungry. It might force some change.