Anyone else find cooking lonely?

[SaturdaysSunday]

Family of 4, I'm the designated cook and I find it such a chore. I've been trying to work out what is it that I dislike so much about cooking, and it's that I find it really lonely!

I'm in the kitchen alone cooking the meal, serve it up and then it gets left for however long it takes for DP and DC to make their way downstairs.

We've tried meal boxes to get other family members to contribute to cooking and it worked for a week or two then defaulted back to me.

I've designed a wondeful family space as a kitchen, dining and sofa TV area and I looked up from the oven this evening and the other side of the room was in darkness

Anyone else here in solidarity that cooking is lonely? What can I do to try and get some enjoyment out of it.

I also love the solitude! It's my private time!

But I hate feeling my cooking efforts are unappreciated. I'd be asking DH to lead by example and come to the table immediately and explaining how it makes you feel. Also insisting on a night for DH, and each teenager in turn to be in charge of the cooking (and don't pick up the slack).

Nobody swans down late to my table - their dinner would be in the dog bin. Cooking is one of my hobbies, so I don't feel lonely doing it, but even i would feel very unappreciated if my family didn't give a shit about the food. You call them, they come, simple as.

I quite like the peace and quiet of cooking by myself, I find it relaxing 😌 can you have the radio or a podcast on for a bit of company? I would call DH and DD down to set the table and pour the drinks etc and help get the food on the table. Also, if you cook, they wash up and sort the kitchen out while you have a sit down!

I listen to audiobooks while I cook or catch up with a friend on a call.
Call people down 10 mins before it’s ready and ask them to help lay the table, get the water or cut up salad.

I never cook anything that takes more than half an hour either to prep then it comes straight out of the oven when ready, or half an hour from start to plate. So I am never in there for more than 30 mins, except on special occasions. I put on a podcast or my favourite music that DH is not so keen on, and have a small glass of wine or a big long soft drink with loads of ice and sparkling water, and really enjoy the time on my own.

DH then gets bored of my easy dinners and goes all man-cook on us, creating complex dishes that take for bloody ever and use every pan in the house. But I get a break from cooking and chuck everything in the dishwasher so I'm not chained to the sink after his astonishing feats of chef-ing.

I love cooking alone. It’s often the only time I have to myself for the day. I sometimes listen to a podcast or audio book while I cook, and it feels like downtime.

But if that doesn’t work for you, you could perhaps ask your family to get involved? Help chop things and have a chat?

I usually listen to the radio when I cook. Usually Radio 4. It's like someone being there chatting to me. Sometimes I like the solitude though and I talk to myself to get an idea or thought straight in my head.
I think you need to call up (or ring a bell) and get the others down 5 minutes earlier so they can lay the table, get drinks and help you serve up. Waiting for stragglers to appear at the table after I've served really winds me up - it's so disrespectful.

Cooking reminds me of Christmas in some ways as there is a huge difference between how it is portrayed on TV (lot of people of different ages chatting &
laughing together) and how it is in real life (me by myself trying to cook whilst also doing various other chores).
Once I realised this, I tried to put a spin on it and turn it into something I could enjoy. The first step was stopping the kids from doing homework in the kitchen as, whilst they were with me, all they did was bicker (“you took my pen” type stuff), sigh and get grumpy with me if I dared make a noise other than a cooking related sound. Now I can listen to the radio or a podcast or even call a friend and have them on speaker phone. I give them a 10 minute warning and then a 5 minute warning and they’re expected to come at the 5 minute warning to help set the table & so on. It probably helps that after school stuff means this only happens a couple of times a week so there is an element of novelty. It also helps that I’m quite good at serving food at the time I say I will so the DC can plan their evenings accordingly. DH will often be 30 mins late which annoys the DC

I can’t remember the last time I cooked completely on my own. I’ve got two small children who hear me open a cupboard and come rushing to assist me. Brings different challenges.

I absolutely hate having anyone around when I cook! When a guest says “ I’ll come and chat to you”..Fuck off, no you wont.

Gosh I love the peace and quiet of it. I love that I am involved in something that takes my mind away from all the other organising, prioritising, etc and I can just be in the moment.

But I guess that is where we are all different :)

I work from home too and do all the prep as the kids arrive from school & they grab a snack & drink and tell me about stuff that’s happened in the day. Then they go off and do what they’re going to do, I go and finish off my work and the cooking bit takes less time later. I usually pop something on the TV whilst I cook. So a bit of company prepping then just me and the TV for the cooking part. I too have a kitchen / diner set up. I don’t know if this would work for you ?

What podcasts do you mainly listen to?

awww OP I really feel for you.
unfortunately I’m with some of the other commenters and love the alone time in the kitchen prepping a meal.
could you listen to a podcast? The radio? Audiobook?
could DP help with chopping?
if you’ve got the share diner, maybe family come down 30 mins before the meal starts

I suggest you learn to enjoy the me time- when i feel exhausted for ideas I always default to a student cookbook- quick , cheap and low impact- it can be a chore if you let it get on top of you.

How old are the kids? DD loves cooking with me.

My mil is a teeny bit scary about people coming to the table when they’re called. She just won’t tolerate the disrespect, and it made it a lot easier to set a similar expectation in our family. But with my autistic ds, I have to give him a ten minute advance warning because he struggles with sudden transitions, so it’s become a habit to call out to everyone that dinner will be on the table in ten minutes.

Could you try something like that instead? Give a 10/15 minute call, and don’t call them again.

I wish it was more lonely, but then I have a 2 and a 4yo 😂. I don’t mean to make light of your post OP, I hope you don’t take it like that.

Can you enhance your solo cooking at all? Good audio book? Some music you like?

I would suggest an audiobook while you cook. You could learn a language while you chop those onions! For me, I find the raunchy romance audiobooks are best - so I actually prefer the kitchen to myself 🥵! 🤣

I don’t find it lonely, but I find it bloody boring.

I had to spell out to DH that he needs to set the example, herd the kids, and now he’ll get the water or set the table and we settle everyone at once. He’s also WFH so we arrange earlier in the day if he’ll be down for dinner (and then he does as above) or if he’s working later (and then he comes down well after).

Podcast or a show on my phone is great. I love cooking but not daily drudge work cooking. When the kids are bigger they can do a night each.

I give a five minute alert, when they are expected to wash hands, have any necessary wees and lay the table.
Anyone not ready for dinner within a few minutes finds their dinner in the dog.

My Mum, Dad, DH, grandmothers, MIL, FILetc had no truck with not turning up on time for food and I don't either.

As for lonely, either I listen to an audiobook or podcast or I pour DH a glass of wine and he keeps me company (or I keep him company)

I agree with the above poster can you prep at lunchtime if you are at home? Then it’s just a case of throwing a tray / casserole into the oven with say a nice fresh salad or some rice accompaniment. Second the music on while cooking too

Id be really annoyed if the rest of the family didn't at least lay and clear table and be there straight away when the meal was ready.

How old are the dc?
I hate cooking all the time so split it with DH. Since the kids were about 10 they have been cooking a meal every couple of weeks as well.