Advice on baby dad please

[Chloe207]

Hey mummas, please no nasty comments I just really need / want advice, had my little girl 4 months ago, I was on the coil and got caught, the lad I was seeing / meeting up with didn’t want me to keep the baby, but I did, not out of spite, not to keep him around, or anything like that I just really fell in love with my baby when I seen her on the screen at the scan! Anyway… my baby dad told me he didn’t want the responsibility of a baby but now he always says he’s glad she’s here and he absolutely adores her when he’s around seeing her, he prefers me to be around when seeing her, he’s a first time dad and gets a little anxious, but… he never actually asks to see her, never texts to ask about her, it’s always me making the effort or texting him, I hardly ever get texts back nowadays, he text me last night asking if we was ok, I said yeah thanks. And he text back good can I pick up my bag please, I said ohhhhh that’s why you are really texting to get your bag, and he was like WTF you think I only text when it in benefits me, I texted back saying yes, you never text unless you need something doing, anyway, I said come round now and you can give baby a cuddle before bed, and he said I want one off you as well, so he came picked his bag up and cuddles our daughter, gave her kisses and more cuddles, and came up to me from behind when I had our daughter in my arms and gave us both the nicest cuddle ever, and a kiss on the cheek for me, we are NOT together, but when we are around each other he makes me feel wanted and he’s always smiling around me, I asked him once what are we… and he said “I don’t ever want a relationship with you” …. He is very confusing, never textes or makes an Effort but like I said when we are together he makes me feel like we are? “I don’t know if that makes sense but to me it does lol” ….. so…. Do I completely back off? No texting and making an effort with him.? But then I’m worried he will never see her if I don’t text him??? I’ve obviously explained how I feel “I like him” but as he said “never a relationship” HELP ME!!! Do I walk away and not text him??? X

Are you taking the piss? Youre 30? Hes 27? His dad pays his support? He cant see her alone?

When he does see her he makes little "jokes" about kissing you.

"He doesnt like to hold her as much" whats he amazing at? Smiling at her? I bet the postman manages that much.

He wants you to make this easy for him! Stop swooning.

If he wanted to be in her life he would. And your daughter deserves people who choose her and show up for her. And thats either him or its not

Thank you all for the comments, and for the people who have said “you want him to like you, it’s a fantasy or what ever, NO I don’t want him like that, I said I like him, and I asked him what we are that once because like I said, he gives me hugs, kisses on the cheek, thigh touches when we are sat down, the looks he gives me, that’s what I was confused about on why he does all this if he doesn’t want me, but my Thread was about… do I step back on asking him to see his daughter? Because it’s always me asking him, like today I sent him 3 pictures of our daughter at a play stay mums group of her playing with wooden toys smiling. With no text to it, just the 3 pictures, and he replied back “I love you both” like what am I suppose to say back to that? I didn’t, I didn’t reply back to me. I left it.

Stop letting him touch you. Have some self respect. He isn't your partner and literally said he doesn't "EVER" want to be.

Stop chasing him to see his kid. You shouldn't need to do that. At least you're getting child support. If that ever stops, make sure you pursue it. Even if he never sees her, he still has to pay child support.

Ps: like others on here, I honestly thought you were teenagers as this whole relationship sounds very immature. You do not need that. You have a little girl to look after

I’ve nudged him off me a few times, I understand he doesn’t want me, as I said I was just confused on what he actually wants, as to me with everything I’ve said to me he likes me, but by the sounds of things he’s playing me, making me think he likes me, after all these comments I will no longer be texting him to see her, he’s got my contact number so he can text me if he really wants to see her.

I actually feel sick on how I’ve made myself look 😞 I feel pathetic, I’m glad you guys have been hard on me, to tell me the truth, he’s playing me have it easy. Telling me little things like he’s glad he’s seen me, he loves us, blah blah blah…. So as I said I’m no longer going to text him. He can text me if he really wants to see his daughter. If not that’s his fault.

If his dad is seeing the money could the baby be taken there so he's not on his own but you don't have to be there until he gains confidence.
If that's not a possibility stop texting. When he gets a new gf he'll probably get in touch again judging by the posts on here
And seriously, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't want cuddles, he's no longer your bf.

I am meeting up with his mum Monday to chat about her being with him the next time he wants to see her, so it gives me some time me time, and him some time with his daughter and his mum is there to help in any way he needs. X

Hi Op it’s all well and good him cooing over her when he sees her but even as an absent parent he should check in on her ask if she’s ok but he doesn’t. She’s not a plaything he is either her dad or he isn’t it’s ok now whilst she is a baby but what about when she’s older and he’s a flaky dad. Take the money for sure bit odd dad is paying for him tbh. If the grandparents want a relationship let them but don’t be the one chasing him. Look to the future as well what will the set up be when you meet someone else who wants to be a dad or step dad. Take off the rose tinted glasses think about dc and tell him to do the same or leave him to it.

Hello lovely, his parents come and visit once a week, never a problem with them, and I totally understand, I will just leave him to it 😊 you guys have made me realise how pathetic I am by letting him treat me this way and stringing me along, so I’m no longer going to be the one to text him first if he wants to see her, he can message me. I’m also going to tell him he can take her out with out me there with him. Gives me some time to myself then.