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Original poster

Confused about this man

64 replies

pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 17:17

I’ve known this man a while from going to the pub sometimes, on Friday I was out with friends I had a few wines and got chatting to him, he suggested we go somewhere else, now thinking about it now I’m sober was he wrong to suggest that? He knew I was out with friends, I’ve spoke to my friend about it and she said she didn’t mind me going off with him, anyway it was time to go home and I was going to get a taxi, but he insisted on me going back to his flat to book one, because I was tipsy I agreed, we went back had a kiss and stuff but not full on sex thank goodness, I can’t help but feel he’s used me in a way, but he has called me since and wants to meet in the week, my friend doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong but I’m unsure, he also called me a twat but he was only joking, in no way was he being horrible. Would you see this man again? honest answers please.

OP posts:
ClaredeBear · 07/09/2025 20:32

The asking you to go was fine and you going was fine. The thing that wouldn’t be fine is if he got angry or violent with you if you hadn’t, or if you wanted to leave.

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:34

Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 20:27

You really sound like quite a vunerable person if you are being genuine.

I suspect you simply regret what happened. If it's true that you feel taken advantage of, insulted and are now worried he may turn nasty?? Then why on earth are you still in two minds about whether to see him again 🤔 sorry something isnt adding up. I think the reason you are in two minds is because you know it was your decision to go back to his, you knew what was going to happen and you simply regret it, so your trying to justify it by saying he acted wrongly.

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Yes I am quite vulnerable, being treated rubbish by men all my life, I’m not using that as an excuse as I’ve let them I guess, because if I see him again he won’t get nasty I suppose, but it wasn’t my decision to go back to his I felt pushed into it.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 20:38

pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:34

Yes I am quite vulnerable, being treated rubbish by men all my life, I’m not using that as an excuse as I’ve let them I guess, because if I see him again he won’t get nasty I suppose, but it wasn’t my decision to go back to his I felt pushed into it.

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Well if you are a vulnerable woman who doesnt seem to have much understanding of how these things work, unable to stand up for yourself and prone to making bad decisions after a few, then your friends should be better protecting you on nights out. Not encouraging you to go to men's houses when you have just met them.

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:38

Onthebusses · 07/09/2025 20:30

Oh come on.

It's worse he took advantage of a drunk woman.

Look, let him take you out. If it's a date and he's respectful and you like him then cool.

But if it's just a piss up then a vie for a shag that's another.

Will you still be confused if it's the latter?

I'd be more confused if it's the former.

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Well no obviously if he just wants one thing again I won’t see him again.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:41

Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 20:38

Well if you are a vulnerable woman who doesnt seem to have much understanding of how these things work, unable to stand up for yourself and prone to making bad decisions after a few, then your friends should be better protecting you on nights out. Not encouraging you to go to men's houses when you have just met them.

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But you would think at my age I should be able to look after myself, I mean I can in every other aspect of my life, just not with men for some reason.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:43

Since I have been on this chat he has called 3 times, I mean that’s not normal, if someone didn’t answer their phone I wouldn’t keep calling them.

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 07/09/2025 20:44

pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:43

Since I have been on this chat he has called 3 times, I mean that’s not normal, if someone didn’t answer their phone I wouldn’t keep calling them.

So tell him you’re not interested and that he should stop calling you.

Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 20:49

pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 20:41

But you would think at my age I should be able to look after myself, I mean I can in every other aspect of my life, just not with men for some reason.

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Well your friends should be looking out for you. Your vulnerable around men and she encouraged you to go off with him. Also on the one hand you said you were a bit tipsy but then also said you were in no fit state to be making decisions. So be careful with your alcohol too. Maybe it affects you more than you realise.

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 21:10

Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 20:49

Well your friends should be looking out for you. Your vulnerable around men and she encouraged you to go off with him. Also on the one hand you said you were a bit tipsy but then also said you were in no fit state to be making decisions. So be careful with your alcohol too. Maybe it affects you more than you realise.

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Yes I think it does affect me more than I realise, hes rang me 4 times now, I know I could answer but I just want to see how far he goes, he’s also text saying he hopes he hasn’t upset me, somethings not right with this man.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 21:12

pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 21:10

Yes I think it does affect me more than I realise, hes rang me 4 times now, I know I could answer but I just want to see how far he goes, he’s also text saying he hopes he hasn’t upset me, somethings not right with this man.

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Just put him out of his misery. Dont let it go on.

Eddielizzard · 07/09/2025 21:13

Could he have been wanting to hear your home address if you were calling a taxi company? Or were you doing it on an app? Either way he and your friend were out of order. The fact he's called you 4 times is off putting too.

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 21:21

Eddielizzard · 07/09/2025 21:13

Could he have been wanting to hear your home address if you were calling a taxi company? Or were you doing it on an app? Either way he and your friend were out of order. The fact he's called you 4 times is off putting too.

I was doing it on the app, and he stopped me saying to go back to his to order one from his flat. Yes it’s putting me off, I’ve messaged him to say it’s not for me and it’s not a good start, I hope he doesn’t come round.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 21:30

Why would he come round? If he does just dont answer the door! I feel like you need a real life guardian angel to keep an eye on you. Just steer clear of dating until you are in a better head space.

Original poster
pinenuts75 · 07/09/2025 21:41

Anchorage56 · 07/09/2025 21:30

Why would he come round? If he does just dont answer the door! I feel like you need a real life guardian angel to keep an eye on you. Just steer clear of dating until you are in a better head space.

Because he’s annoyed? 🤷‍♀️

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