Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Relative in US not answering emails or phone - what should I do?

71 replies

SirChenjins · 03/09/2025 15:40

Relative is my uncle. He lives alone, not the easiest of people to get along with (just like my dad was), very independent and doesn't like many/any people, and estranged from his 2 ex-wives and his daughter. He's our only living relative on my deceased dad's side so my sister and I keep in touch with him by email - we are his next of kin.

I usually hear from him regularly, and if I email he emails back within a day or 2. Last email I had from him was a about 3 or 4 weeks after the last one I sent, which is unusual. All he said was he'd had a recurrence of previous health issues (didn't say what but he's had a stroke, problems with his vision, and a couple of other things). That was about 2 weeks ago. I phoned him at the weekend and there was no answer.

Both Dsis and I are sole beneficiaries which means his lawyer does have our names and addresses if he has passed away (I'm assuming we would be told?), but I'm not sure what on earth to do here - if he's in hospital then would we be informed? And by whom? Or should I be contacting someone in the US to say we're concerned? And if so, who?

OP posts:
Cluesinthename81 · 03/09/2025 15:42

Ring every couple of hours today and tomorrow
if no answer, call local police station and request a welfare check

Cluesinthename81 · 03/09/2025 15:42

How old is he? On social media at all?

Zeroinon · 03/09/2025 15:57

I would be inclined not to wait until tomorrow I don't know if you've tried phoning your uncle?
If not I would do that, there will be a time difference of course depending on where your uncle lives.
If it were me I will contact as was previously suggested, the police that are local to where your uncle lives, and as was also previously suggested, ask for a welfare check.

indoorplantqueen · 03/09/2025 15:59

Contact his daughter and ex wife?

DancefloorAcrobatics · 03/09/2025 16:01

This is out of character for him.
I would contact the local police and ask them to check on him and any surrounding hospitals.

muddyford · 03/09/2025 16:03

When my uncle in Canada did this we got in touch with local social services in Toronto and they checked up on him. Hope all is well with your relation.

Hiptothisjive · 03/09/2025 16:06

You Can call the county police station for his county and request a welfare check. These are common, not a problem and easily done.

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 03/09/2025 16:11

Can you Google his nearest hospital and call them? If not, as pp a quick call to police department

SirChenjins · 03/09/2025 16:17

Thanks everyone.

So the police will do a welfare check? I'm really torn on this, he's very independent and has no time for the authorities - I can imagine he will be furious if they turn up at his door.

Not on social media and he has no contact with his ex-wives and daughter.

OP posts:
JustPassingThruHere · 03/09/2025 16:20

SirChenjins · 03/09/2025 16:17

Thanks everyone.

So the police will do a welfare check? I'm really torn on this, he's very independent and has no time for the authorities - I can imagine he will be furious if they turn up at his door.

Not on social media and he has no contact with his ex-wives and daughter.

Edited

Yes, local police will do a welfare check. Hope all OK. Good of you to care so much when it sounds like all others have given up! Might remind him of this if he gets too mad about the perceived intrusion!

Dabberlocks · 03/09/2025 16:21

He might be furious if they turn up at his door and he is fine. What if he isn't fine, and needs medical help?

Better to run the risk of annoying him, just in case.

AlohaRose · 03/09/2025 16:22

Do you have the details of his lawyer?

PrestonHood121 · 03/09/2025 16:41

You can request a welfare check with the local police dept where he lives. If he's out in the countryside, it will be the county sheriffs dept. If he lives in a town or city its the city police dept.

He might get mad if it all turns out OK, but hopefully it will encourage him to keep in touch a little more.

Miraclesforme · 03/09/2025 17:41

I would get a welfare check too

SirChenjins · 03/09/2025 17:42

I've emailed the police dept in the city he lives in and explained the situation - just waiting for them to reply. Thanks everyone for replying and for your advice, I really appreciate it.

OP posts:
ShrubRose · 03/09/2025 19:42

Have you heard from the police, OP?
If it's a city of any size, my guess would be an email would not be responded to quickly. Is it possible to call them?

SirChenjins · 10/09/2025 13:38

Update - there is no update. Both Dsis and I have tried calling the police dept many times, but the queue for the non-emergency number over there is as bad as it is here and the cost of calling is becoming unsustainable - literally hours waiting to get through. Neither of us have managed to speak to an officer yet. No response to my email to the police, so I've emailed the lawyer using the email address on the Will this morning - but no idea where I'll get with that as the practice is showing as permanently closed on Google. I'm really hoping that's an error.

Any other suggestions? I'm at a complete loss.

OP posts:
PrincessofWells · 10/09/2025 13:41

Social services might be an option?

I would be inclined to contact the pastor of a local church and ask if they would do a welfare check for you.

MysteriousFalafel · 10/09/2025 13:41

Is he part of a church or anything similar? I’m pretty confident someone would go and check on him from a church community but you might not know which (if any) he goes to.

Mosaic123 · 10/09/2025 13:43

Is he a church or synagogue goer? His local one might know how he is?
Even if he isn't they might be asked to help you?

Does he ever mention a restaurant or some other business he regularly uses? Club he goes to, golf? The masons?

Grasping at straws here.

SirChenjins · 10/09/2025 13:45

Nope, not a member of a church or any other organisation or club - he leads a very quiet life.

I'm reluctant to call someone I don't know and who he doesn't know and give out his personal details to a stranger over the phone (police excepted, obvs).

He's not under the care of social services - and I've no idea what the US equivalent are, or who I'd even contact.

OP posts:
PrincessofWells · 10/09/2025 13:46

SirChenjins · 10/09/2025 13:45

Nope, not a member of a church or any other organisation or club - he leads a very quiet life.

I'm reluctant to call someone I don't know and who he doesn't know and give out his personal details to a stranger over the phone (police excepted, obvs).

He's not under the care of social services - and I've no idea what the US equivalent are, or who I'd even contact.

Edited

Well thats going to make it really tricky then . . .

Just book a flight and go.

jonthebatiste · 10/09/2025 13:46

Whereabouts is he OP? There are quite a few US mumsnetters on here.

SirChenjins · 10/09/2025 13:47

He's in Houston, TX

OP posts:
jonthebatiste · 10/09/2025 13:54

There might not be any harm in putting out a request here. Then have you tried the sherrif's office, the city police, the county police, local Samaritans, nearest church? You might not need someone to go check themselves (not sure I'd want to - I'm nowhere near TX unfort), but you could ask any of these offices to contact the correct person on your behalf. You can explain you can't wait on hold.

Houston PD:

Dial (713) 884-3131 to request non-emergency police service for locations within the city limits of Houston (is this the number you've been trying?)

Community Engagement
713 308-3200

Crisis Intervention (Mental Health Unit)
832 394-4200

Dispatcher (Non-emergency number)
713 884-3131

Missing Persons (Adults)
832 394-1840

You can start with one of these numbers. There are also numbers available for his local PD station if none of these can help. Have a look here:

https://www.houstontx.gov/police/phone.htm