Anyone else consider themselves a "low energy person" / "anhedonia"?

[PlantsAndFossils]

Hello

I'm one of those people who prefer to stay at home and watch TV/potter. Going out takes a huge amount of mental energy. I even get my food shopping delivered.

For years I thought I was various of the following: lazy, depressed, OCD, introverted, autistic, peri-menopausal, suffering from some sort of undiagnosed physical malady (ME/chronic fatigue?) or vitamin deficiency or it was the effects of lockdown.

I feel ok in myself, a bit blah, but then I see people willingly go away regularly for weekends or out for meals or hobbies and I just think - how can they be arsed?! I might vaguely enjoy them but not enough to actually be bothered to go. ( I especially don't like the "mess" of things like packing or unpacking).

Now that I think about it, I reckon I've always been like this and that it's just the way I'm programmed. My dad is a bit like this, my mum more outgoing. I've been on various antidepressants over the years but can't say they've made much difference.

So I reckon it's my personality. I recently heard the term "low energy person" and I think that's me. I also heard "anhedonia" which just means not getting much pleasure from things.

I'm 44, WFH since covid, single for years (would have liked to have met someone but now almost given up), childfree (yet another thing I wouldn't have had the energy or inclination for), physically healthy.

Anyone feel the same or have any thoughts?

Thanks

BTW - I do have a rescue cat so I have some meaning in life. I used to go to church but cba and no longer believe anyway. I enjoy my job but it's not a demanding career or anything.

Absolutely! I WFH and rarely leave the house during the week, unless everyone else is too busy to take the dog out. I have been known to not leave the house for over 2 weeks and not even realise! 😂I do try to do things at least 2 weekends per month, even if that's just visiting family or popping into town.

I was like this as a kid too. Massive introvert and much preferred staying in to watch TV or read during the holidays. As an early teen I spent my school summer holidays only venturing out to the library to return and get new books.

I’m low energy, but l like doing stuff.

I just get tired easily or don’t have lots of stamina.

It’s so important to know what makes you happy. A very lovely friend of mine is the same and I am the opposite. She has a cat and has a busy day if she has to go to the shop for something the delivery missed. I painted the bathroom this morning and then took my son to the beach - 2 hours away. I am having a drink now but have already walked the dog and am just about to make a cake. I think people are reluctant to say they are low energy as like being shy it has fallen out of favour. I don’t think we have much choice either way but I think there are more people who realise they are lower energy than they thought as they go through life but that they didn’t have the boundaries to meet their own needs. It’s funny how the point where we feel busy is entirely subjective. I have one friend who makes me look fully yoga zen - am not sure she sleeps.

What an interesting thread!

So I find that on those occasions I’ve had a partner, I’m energised and up for an adventure and with my last ex almost every other weekend we were either away a night or back to back busy weekend days always doing something.

When I’m single, a ‘busy’ day is a bit of gardening and then I feel overwhelmed or doing the weekly big shop and then I feel like I physically can do nothing else. But when I was with my partner, I honestly felt I did way more in a day when we weren’t seeing each other and really enjoyed ‘humble bragging’ about everything I’d achieved and being so productive.

By nature, I’m quite introverted but I do like people and being around like minded but it’s like ai need a catalyst in the form of another human to give me energy as it were which is a little sad I guess.

Makes me wonder if we just adapt to our living conditions and revert to whatever our default settings are when alone.

😲l could never do all that.

Painting the bathroom would be a 2 day job alone!

I have always wondered about this. I would love to do more stuff but low energy too! I am happy at home alone too.

I’m coming back to this thread to comment properly, but just want to see if anyone has heard Dead Ringers on Radio 4 and their impression of ‘low energy’ Kemi Badenoch? It doesn’t seem to be on the Sounds app unfortunately ☹️.

But I think these descriptions fit me to a tee too.

(tee too 😂🤣)

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock you and i would have been good childhood friends! I hated it when friends came over and were like "I'm bored, what can we do now" over and over again. When I was happy to just sit and chat or play with something for hours. Or read together.

@Funningitup agree it's taboo to say you don't like doing much. Nobody puts that on their online dating profile! I think we are judged by folk like my mother who think getting up early and being busy is some kind of moral indicator.

@MoominMai thanks! Glad this is interesting. Yeah I can be high energy eg in the days when I was trying to impress new boyfriends or if I have something MAJOR eg a once in a lifetime concert to go to.

Overall - I was totally expecting responses like "you sound depressed", "you should get more exercise" "get a blood test" or "I'd love to be lazy but I have X number of DC!" So it's nice to see we can just be ourselves - you can probably see from my username that I do have indoor interests! I feel I could be a character on Big Bang Theory except I'm not clever enough!

Yes, it describes me nearly exactly. I've never taken anti-depressants but I've had fairly long periods where I've felt a bit flat. I am very easily overwhelmed and I always feel like I've got loads to do but I don't want to do any of it and so I rarely do until it's pretty much an emergency.

I'm very accepting of who I am and I like my quiet, peaceful nature. I am content with the 'little things' in life. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make life less demanding.

It greatly annoys me that AI is turning out to do the 'thinking' when I wish it would do the 'doing': cleaning, laundry, paying bills, insurance quotes - all the chores that suck the joy out of the day.

And to add - I absolutely adore not doing anything - it's my favourite way to spend my time and it never feels like it's wasted. More like I've had time and space to breathe. I'm very introverted!

@Not2identifying that's a good point about AI. I'd love a robot that would wash my hair and change the bedding. Those can feel like overwhelming tasks. And leave the reading/writing/thinking to me.

I completely resonate. I know I’m boring and I feel like I ‘should’ have hobbies and do more, but I just, don’t actually want to?

Im not depressed and I enjoy going for the odd walk, or nice lazy holidays, but generally I’m very happy with a wander to a local coffee shop in the morning, a nice lunch at home and just chilling around the house.

I’d love to be a bit more ‘get up and go’ but I’m just, not.

Live small 🥰

I’m low energy and finally happy with it. This has only happened recently when I realised that there is nothing wrong with not being busy all the time and going at 100 mile an hour. I used to think I was failing at life but I’m happy and so are the other people who are the opposite of me and that’s all that matters.

Same here! In my 30s and love nothing better than to just potter around the house, read, listen to podcasts etc. My husband is the same. Last month we had the first full child-free overnight since our toddler daughter was born, and we stayed in watching a film, and enjoyed a lie in the next morning. A friend asked me what we did with our childfree evening and she seemed a bit shocked we didn’t head out for a night in the city! It just didn’t occur to us to make huge plans other than just relaxing

I've found my tribe! I like long walks and trips out, but also love quiet weekends at home, in peace and quiet with coffee, a book and my tablet.

This describes me and I have always felt like this. I do feel low in mood a lot but I think this comes from the disparity between what I feel I should do and wanting to lean into a quiet simple life. I come from a family that values being busy and a husband that does too and I would just like the world to leave me alone and let me be at peace. I always feel not good enough as I don’t do enough or get done the things I think I should do! It’s hard to be surrounded by people who just get on and do things. I feel it takes a mountain to climb to get things done. This thread has got me thinking that maybe I need to take a different approach to life.

This is a really interesting thread OP, thanks for starting it! I have occasional bursts of energy but on the whole I prefer a quiet, easy life, especially as I've got older.

My DH is the same, he likes watching tv and I like reading, I'm glad our energies match and it's a big part of our long marriage, having a peaceful, quiet life is very important to me!

Yes! I'm very introverted. I loathe the summer due to the feeling that I should be out and about. Love the ber months and being able to potter at home in my comfy clothes. If it were not for my two young children, I could quite easily spend weeks at home at a time watching TV, reading, gaming, eating and being horizontal! But I do make sure we get out daily just for their benefit, although my eldest often asks for a day at home and I'm starting to see introvert tendencies in him too.

@Funningitup I’ve got a friend like you in her early 40s and her schedule to me looks totally knackering , she always has at least 4 or 4 things packed in a day if it’s not a work/school day - think wild swimming, lunch out, taking son to climbing wall ( and she joins in) followed by drinks at her sisters but am I 63 and have definitely slowed somewhat in last 8 years.

I’m like this but diagnosed autistic and going out is very overwhelming in terms of sensory overload and masking.

There’s a theory that those with autism experience the world much more intensely than others which is why we struggle and need more downtime.

I always thought anhedonia was the complete inability to gain pleasure from anything or enjoy anything. So I wouldn’t say that describes me.

However, I am introverted and extremely content to do “nothing” (see username) I have no problem describing myself as lazy. There is a book called How to be Idle which I feel sums up my approach to life.

I have worked hard enough to have a professional career but I work freelance and only take on work I feel like doing. Some weeks I work two days, some weeks I work none. I have no difficulty filling my time doing seemingly nothing and am happy just floating about my home in silence.

I do have a 4 year old but he’s been well trained to be content like me just pottering about and he occupies himself a lot of the time. We come together to build Lego or bake cakes. I was raised similarly and vividly remember long lazy Sundays inventing my own games while my dad read books and dozed on the couch, or my mum tended to her garden. Friends of ours with young children can fill their days dashing all over the place but if we go for a walk in the woods, munching any brambles we find on the way, that’s probably it for the day. I have always had the ability to fill endless hours doing not very much. I always sing “busy doing nothing” to my son. I think it’s a very pleasant way to exist.

I do enjoy doing things and I cherish my friends and family but I don’t fill my calendar jam packed with Stuff To Do. I don’t have the energy for it. I like going for a wander, taking an age to read a book in between stroking my cat or generally floating about at home, doing crosswords, teaching my son how to play board games, staring out of windows, staring at the fire (one of the joys of heading into autumn and winter), and just generally faffing about on my own.

Keep at it OP. The world needs Winnie the Poohs just as much as it needs Tiggers.

I'm a bit of both but I am an introvert who needs lots of time to myself which has always been the case even as a child. My mum used to think it was depressed and try and force me out. I did go out but for periods of time I didn't want to.

Since I've had my son my drive to do things for my own enjoyment has gone right down. I prefer staying in and chilling out because I don't get that time otherwise. My son is extraverted so our week is days out and meet ups which I enjoy but by the weekend I am done. His Dad takes him out then and I have lost the desire to do anything. I go to the cinema occasionally and that really makes me happy. I also love theatre and concerts and book those and enjoy them but that's enough 😂

I’m very low energy and like being on my own, I find it so tiring being around people and holding a conversation is exhausting. I actively avoid people I know so I don’t have to talk to them, even family.
I spend a lot of time in my head so outside conversations sort of interrupt and I think I was happier just thinking to myself than making boring small talk.
I do like company occasionally but only if there’s alcohol involved as that seems to energise me and I can have fun but I would probably fall asleep if I had to socialise sober.