Anyone else consider themselves a "low energy person" / "anhedonia"?

[PlantsAndFossils]

Hello

I'm one of those people who prefer to stay at home and watch TV/potter. Going out takes a huge amount of mental energy. I even get my food shopping delivered.

For years I thought I was various of the following: lazy, depressed, OCD, introverted, autistic, peri-menopausal, suffering from some sort of undiagnosed physical malady (ME/chronic fatigue?) or vitamin deficiency or it was the effects of lockdown.

I feel ok in myself, a bit blah, but then I see people willingly go away regularly for weekends or out for meals or hobbies and I just think - how can they be arsed?! I might vaguely enjoy them but not enough to actually be bothered to go. ( I especially don't like the "mess" of things like packing or unpacking).

Now that I think about it, I reckon I've always been like this and that it's just the way I'm programmed. My dad is a bit like this, my mum more outgoing. I've been on various antidepressants over the years but can't say they've made much difference.

So I reckon it's my personality. I recently heard the term "low energy person" and I think that's me. I also heard "anhedonia" which just means not getting much pleasure from things.

I'm 44, WFH since covid, single for years (would have liked to have met someone but now almost given up), childfree (yet another thing I wouldn't have had the energy or inclination for), physically healthy.

Anyone feel the same or have any thoughts?

Thanks

Yes I'm like this.

I'd happily spend every evening and weekend sat at home, doing nothing.

I have DC and take them to activities and parties etc but dislike this. There was 2 kids parties this weekend Which was mentally draining.

I'm glad you started this thread because I was thinking there is something wrong with me, like a vitamin deficiency.

OMG you have just described me! I work FT over 3 days and during that time am very busy and chat all day (Nurse). When at home I simply cannot be bothered to do anything really. The best days are those with no plans and not having to talk to anyone. I am not depressed about it in fact I love it. I just though I was lazy but clearly not!

Really interesting.

High energy here, I like to get up early, do loads and be productive, I'm happy pottering in the house but almost always need to also go out in the day or at least feel like I've achieved stuff. Love a full on city break with tons of sightseeing and shopping. While I do need quiet time sometimes I am an extrovert and also a bit of a perfectionist and put a lot of pressure on myself.

However, I know this can be exhausting for others who have more of a need for downtime. My husband would definitely do less if not with me, and needs to just chill more than I do.

I do have friends who are much more extreme. One of my best friends has an international role and essentially doesn't sleep and is across three continents in a week and always doing three things at once.

I loathe the summer due to the feeling that I should be out and about

I totally resonate with this too. I was secretly hoping some days it would rain so I wouldn't have to go out and 'enjoy the weather'. I realise I sound totally miserable but I just love days of not having to do anything at all.

Hmm I can relate somewhat. Especially in the afternoon/evenings I'm def a low energy person whilst in the morning I've got plenty of energy. What takes energy from me is social interactions whilst it's the opposite for my DH who gets energy from being with others. He's knackered in the morning and high energy later in the day and evenings. We're all different but somehow you are seen as weird for not being very social..

I am definitely an autumn person through and through. But in the summer I enjoy the sunshine provided I’m doing what I want to do. My son and I pass most of the days fishing together at a little spot where no one else goes, or we spend the days in our garden, or the three of us head off to a secluded beach with provisions for the day and don’t come home until bedtime. Those are the summer days I love the most.

I wish I were lower energy - I am high energy but easily overwhelmed, so that instead of feeling content to potter I am insanely restless and stir crazy all the time, and also quite stressed by not knowing where to start with all the things that need doing. (I am largely trapped at home with 2 autistic males who would happily never leave the house or talk to another person again for the rest of their lives, but rely on me to do literally everything for them, so there’s a lot to do and none of it fun)

Yes I am absolutely like this. I really struggle with being busy and having lots to do. I seem to need plenty of rest after so many normal tasks. Even as a child I preferred reading, watching TV to running around. I see people who exercise, work full time and socialise and I wonder how they do it without crashing and burning

And my favourite time of year is the Halloween mid term break. It's such a quiet, peaceful time and the weather is bad so we're not expected to go out.
Really looking forward to it this year already.

This sounds familiar!

I would say "introverted" and quiet rather than low energy. Ive always been a bit of an "old soul" and love nothing more than just pottering about, luckily DH and DC are very similar!

Autumn and winter I feel much more "me" than in the summer.

I am like this. At first, I wondered if it was a natural reaction to a childhood being packed off to school 5 days a week, and extracurricular activities 6-7 days a week (and sometimes two activities on one day). I am an introvert and, after working long hours, I need a lot of time to recharge... even though my family and neighbours have expressed how weird it is that I don't go out somewhere every day. I had a whole day off from the world yesterday, in which I didn't speak to anyone (except the pets) and it was lovely!

Yes this! I hear so many people say they are introverted and need to rest and recharge after a night out with friends or a holiday.

What?! I need to rest for a couple of days after I’ve been to the shop for bread and milk.

Love this! Sounds like my DS12 who is exhausted after having brushed his teeth🤣 but if a friend calls he's got plenty so I think it's a very selective low energy...

This is great, I thought I was weird, turns out there are others! 😆I do like seeing people every so often but it takes it out of me. Perfectly happy at home with dog, pottering, podcasts, cleaning house, gardening and watching tv. If I see friends at weekend I'm shattered. Work involves far too many people and having to talk all day drains me. I would say I'm lower energy than a lot of people but I try.

I've had blood tests done as I thought sometimes wrong with me..but there's not. Looking back though, my late mother was exactly the same. My main memory of her is of her lying on the sofa drinking coffee 😂

Hello all,

Interested to read all your responses, thanks for sharing!

It noticeable how being "low energy" is associated with being an introvert. They're not the same thing tho imho.

But yeah, agree, I need a day off after any social engagement. And I barely cook just so that I don't have to clean up afterwards.

I’m a bit like this but I do have some things ‘going on’ - small child, a business, house reno. I cannot be arsed at all about socializing , going out for no big reason or for example watching tv. So I can relate to a degree. I always thought I’m someone who has low tolerance for things I deem not useful or a waste of time, and the older I get the more extreme it becomes! I used to force myself to do things that I deemed ‘normal’ and it was exhausting. Now I really cannot be bothered and will not even contemplate things like holidays with friends, small talk for 15 minutes, meals out unless it’s me and DH, and I find things like the cinema or day trips really draining and I literally get nothing from them! I do however love working and doing useful things. Are there things you feel are useful or important? Maybe you’ve not quite found those Xo

Some people are like the Duracell Bunny, other people get worn out just watching them. I am the latter. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments and have three very busy days coming up, but I also like the opportunity to do sod all.

Hello tribe

Lots of interesting responses, thanks.

I'm constantly thinking of ways to make life easier/more comfortable. As I said in my OP I get my food shopping delivered. I also have a gardener and window cleaner (not a cleaner for my actual home tho, I'm too much of a control freak). I use my tumble dryer/disposable dusters/cloths without guilt. I buy preprepared fruit and only cook simply with my air fryer/slow cooker I WFH and wear essentially a uniform of jumpers and jogging bottoms. I've stopped colouring my hair. I have things on subscriptions or direct debit. I won't go anywhere unless there's parking nearby!

I do think some of it is a reaction to years and years of wearing an uncomfortable school/work uniform, long commutes and long days out of the house. Esp in winter. In fact, you could add "SAD" to one of the conditions I've suspected I have.