Could turning to religion help ease existential anxiety?

[BorntoDillyDally]

Since I was a very small child I have struggled with the concept of life and most definitely death.

It is something which would keep me awake and pondering even at the age of 6/7 years old and I've never lost that fear.

I'm in my 50's now and it's worse than ever, probably exacerbated by my own ageing body, losing various people over the years and seeing my own parents entering old age with one suffering from a long and drawn out terminal disease (which has affected the whole family). I also have some chronic health issues myself which I believe exacerbates and drives this fear.

Nothing I have tried over the past eases this chronic anxiety over something I have no control over, certainly not any form of counselling because let's face it, we are all heading the same way and as the saying goes 'None of us are getting out of this alive'. I struggle with anything seen as final.

I would just love to feel some peace, acceptance and calmness over my (and my loved ones) mortality and wonder if religion is the answer?

Although I was brought up attending a CofE school and would visit our local church regularly, I've (nor my family) are particularly religious but I often wonder if those with a faith have a more contentedness towards living and dying? Do they dread or question the meaning of life less so than someone like myself, someone following no organised or recognised faith?

I'm particularly drawn to Buddhism for some reason but I'm scared to try to enter into world so foreign to me especially at a later stage if life.

Do you think those with religious beliefs are less prone to such fears and anxieties?

Yes 100%, your “next step” is accepted , nothing to be anxious for (I am Christian Orthodox, my church has a lovely priest and after the mass I always feel recharged/refreshed)

but… the priest has a lot to do with it rather than just the religion

I genuinely think that's what I've needed all my life. Somewhere to find a place to help me to accept my stare of being.

I don't know enough about Buddhism but certainly I find Christianity helps with such feelings/thoughts. Partly through assurance due to faith but partly through the love and care of other Christians in the church community exploring their thoughts together in an accepting environment. So exploring religion sounds a good step forward.

I can’t answer your question, but as someone who has dabbled with religion over my lifetime am interested to read others views too. As an aside and as someone who’s also struggled with existential thoughts I just wanted to say that my anxieties around this were worse than normal between the ages of 45-55, possibly menopause related? I’m now nearer 60 and it’s become its usual background anxiety and not so all consuming.

Thank you, that's quite reassuring.
I have definitely found the combination of caring for an elderly and terminally unwell parent and my own health issues alongside the 'joys' of perimenopause is a nightmare mix and most definitely driving the existential fears.

I'm not religious but my death doesn't bother me.

You can't just decide to become religious because you want the benefits. You have to genuinely believe it.

I wish I did because it would make my life easier. But I don't, so that's that.

But that is what I am trying to ask. Do those who hold a genuinely solid faith experience less issues with the fear of death and do they spend less time pondering their existence?

I am certainly not going to turn up to my local church this Sunday and expect to suddenly feel some kind of peace though I am drawn to something, I am not an atheist so I do belelive that it could be a possibility for me.

I'm an Orthodox Christian too. I tried not believing during my 40s, but I felt hollow and nihilistic which gradually evolved into depression. Once the depression improved, I went back to Church and feel a whole lot better. You can decide to believe and just go with it and it starts to make sense after a while, but I only found this in the Orthodox Church. Other church experiences left me empty. The words of the Orthodox Liturgy change you, it's not like going to any other church.

Following Jesus Christ will answer so many questions and remove fear of the unknown. Can you find a local church and reach out to the leadership to see if they can offer you some guidance? Myself and other Christians will help where we can. Do you have a Bible?

Also, this might help https://www.trypraying.org/

@BorntoDillyDally I don’t agree with @SunnieShine

with God there is no right or wrong way of following Him, you just let go and eventually you feel calm (hence less anxious about the future)

for some of us it’s not as easy as it sounds though, inside of me I can let my fears, anxieties take over and I know I lost sight of Him. When I just trust Him again, hope comes back.. it’s a process you have to go through with yourself mainly

but to sum up His doors are always open for you, He doesn’t care if you’re here for the “benefits”, he would just rather have you here

good suggestion from PP on getting a Bible x

This is a really interesting question and I often have similar thoughts. I didn’t grow up with any religion in my life other than the usual amount that you get from going to primary school in England. I now live in Northern Ireland where a lot more people are regular church goers. I nearly always feel a bit more grounded after the church services I do attend, usually just Christmas, weddings, funerals mostly, but I like reflecting on the message from the minister and find it helps take me out of my head.

It helps me.

I think I always had more thoughts of death than most people although not always in a scary way. As a kid I used to plan my funeral the way some people plan their wedding. I am sure that’s weird but I did. I always had a lot of thoughts about ‘why are we here‘ what is the point of life?’ that it doesn’t seem as though everyone else has to the same degree. I often struggle with a feeling of it all being meaningless although I do just carry on day to day. I used to just have to stop my thoughts from going that way and say to myself ‘don’t look down’ or something like that because I was afraid I might never come up.

In my 20s I was trying out a lot of stuff to see if it was ‘the meaning’ from just hedonistic partying to doing a lot of charity work and as part of that search I went on an alpha course and became a Christian in my late 20s. I do feel it has helped me although how I express my faith and what exactly I believe has shifted over time. I guess I now think it’s not up to me to find the meaning which is a comfort. There is a plan and I am a part of it, I am not in control of it and so I give it up to God. I do believe there is some kind of afterlife the exact nature of which we do not know. I go to church and to a bible study group and I like the space to reflect in a moral/ philosophical way about what’s going on in my life and join with other people in doing that. I try to live my life in accordance with Christian principles although very often I do not succeed. I need that regular outlet to think about life on a deeper level or I would be very depressed I think.

Passages that help me

Matthew 6:25-34
Romans 8:28-39
Revelation 21

Love this post ❤️

I think the entire purpose of religion is to ease existential anxiety.

It doesn't bother me much, and im not really a believer, but I think you would get great comfort from having a faith. It might be hard to make yourself believe in something that doesn't come instinctively to you but surrounding yourself with believers and doing some reading would help. You might be able to programme yourself to develop a true faith.

It occurred to me only in adulthood that so much of the words of the prayers and hymns that I grew up with (Catholic) are about mental health. The constant use of the word peace is not about war but about inner peace. 'Be not afraid....i will give you peace' comes to mind. 'Peace be with you' etc. When I think of it now, the idea of 100s of people living near each other with similar lives and struggles, gathering together and collectively wishing each other a calm mind and strong mental health is actually very powerful.

I’ve always had faith, so I can’t compare. I would say, my faith takes the pressure off. This life is a passing phase, and at the end we get ‘called home’.

The focus of my life isn’t acquiring things or achieving things. It’s to journey alongside other people, sharing love around to my best ability.

Opportunities to share love are the point of life, and there are an endless supply of them.

I’m actually looking forward to being called home for a rest, to be honest!

Gosh @myplace I'm quite jealous! I genuinely would love to have a faith like that. It's wonderful.

@Dontlletmedownbruce I totally agree. Faith, done right, is a very healthful way of life. Religion isn’t always ‘done right’ sadly. As soon as it gets competitive and judgemental (I’m right, you’re wrong), you’ve lost the very essence of it.

Typed my post before seeing yours! @Dontlletmedownbruce !

Thank you everyone, I found some of your replies choked me up a little, maybe I have needed a faith all of my life, perhaps it's that something that I have always felt was missing from my life?

I am going to start to explore this a little deeper. I find it quite daunting though as I don't have any friends or family with a deep faith so it feels quite scary to do this alone but I will definitely look into things. Maybe it's what I need right now? Who knows.

That’s good to hear
In answer to what people have said about you can’t pretend or force yourself that’s absolutely true but I believe that God wants us to come to him so all we need to do is be open to the possibility and he will come and find us like lost sheep (Luke 15:7) or the Prodigal son (Luke 15:20). The line in that parable ‘whilst he was still far off his father saw him and filled with compassion he ran to him and embraced him’ really moves me. I feel that is what happened to me.

Seek and ye shall find (Matt 7:7)

https://www.christianityexplored.org/courses/christianity-explored/

It was actually this course that I went on years ago but there are similar ones in a lot of places that just give you the basics and read through a gospel
together with space for discussion. I didn’t find it pushy and a lot of people on the course didn’t (at least at that point) choose to take it any further and that was fine. Maybe you can find something like that near you if you like the idea?

No I don’t think it’s related to religion. I’m not religious at all and don’t worry about my death. I think about it yes and plan for it (mainly for the security of my kids) but don’t obsess over it. It will happen of course - I don’t want to die so I focus on living as much as I possibly can.

A religion could provide comfort about death, yes, but expect only if you develop belief in the afterlife or the beliefs of the relevant religion.

As an atheist that’s not an option for me.