Could turning to religion help ease existential anxiety?

[BorntoDillyDally]

Since I was a very small child I have struggled with the concept of life and most definitely death.

It is something which would keep me awake and pondering even at the age of 6/7 years old and I've never lost that fear.

I'm in my 50's now and it's worse than ever, probably exacerbated by my own ageing body, losing various people over the years and seeing my own parents entering old age with one suffering from a long and drawn out terminal disease (which has affected the whole family). I also have some chronic health issues myself which I believe exacerbates and drives this fear.

Nothing I have tried over the past eases this chronic anxiety over something I have no control over, certainly not any form of counselling because let's face it, we are all heading the same way and as the saying goes 'None of us are getting out of this alive'. I struggle with anything seen as final.

I would just love to feel some peace, acceptance and calmness over my (and my loved ones) mortality and wonder if religion is the answer?

Although I was brought up attending a CofE school and would visit our local church regularly, I've (nor my family) are particularly religious but I often wonder if those with a faith have a more contentedness towards living and dying? Do they dread or question the meaning of life less so than someone like myself, someone following no organised or recognised faith?

I'm particularly drawn to Buddhism for some reason but I'm scared to try to enter into world so foreign to me especially at a later stage if life.

Do you think those with religious beliefs are less prone to such fears and anxieties?

I tend to think that being religious just gives you more to worry about. Certainly those do a religious bent seem to obsess over what it means far more than the atheists worry about things. I enjoy life, get pleasure out of helping others where I can and generally try to leave things in a better state than I found them. I have no fear of death. Why would I. It’s an entirely natural and unavoidable consequence of life! I didn’t exist for millennia, and best I have 100 years of life, and then I cease to exist for the rest of time. That’s what makes life wonderful to me - the chance to do something. Not to control things, or to coerce people to fit my way of life.

I've lost with parents recently, one after a terrible illness. I started investigating near death experiences, which led to a wider spiritual exploration.
I now believe in something - not a patriarchal God of an organised religion who judges, but something. I expect to spend the rest of my life working on this relationship.

That's why man created god and religions. Partly as a code of conduct but more importantly as an insurance policy for eternal life/peace in some form or other.

I agree with PP that when you read a lot of religious texts (I’m talking specifically about the bible and Quran as those are what I’m familiar with) there’s a huge focus on mental health.

I am deliberately raising my children in a religious framework for this reason. It’s their choice what they do with it later in life, but I want them to have a foundation in their lives that will hopefully build decent self esteem and a sense of gratitude that helps with a positive perspective on life.

Taking a few minutes out of your day to pray (ie be quiet, still your mind) must be beneficial for mental health
Charity encourages us to have a positive impact on the world and think about others
Fasting/giving things up develops self-discipline

I do have a very strong faith myself and believe that the tenets of the Abrahamic religions were created by God TO make us happy and healthy humans and societies. But as I point out to my atheist husband it also doesn’t matter if it’s not real if it helps you in life

I hope you find what you are looking for.
I am an atheist, I find comfort in nature , the seasons and the wheel of life.

I feel the same.

Personally I don't understand fear of death or mortality at all. There doesn't need to be any reason for life, and as Mark Twain said -

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

There's no reason at all to be worried about the state of being dead.

I truly wish I could be at peace feeling this way but I never have, even as a young child.

My husband thinks the same as you and has always carried an inner peace that I long to possess.

It's possible yes. I don't think every human has a God shaped hole, but some clearly do. Religious people also usually show as happier than non-religious, in research.

I do think it can help, yes. I'm an atheist, although I grew up Catholic. I've never had an existential problem with life and death like you describe, but my DH certainly has. He was a Christian when I met him, although not strict. He's dabbled with different religions over the years (even Mormonism and Satanism, and Wicca) before settling back on Christianity about 10 years ago. He suffers from the same type of anxiety you describe, and I'd say joining a church and fully believing in god has most definitely helped him and improved his mental health.

I do think an inner peace is something most atheists do have, and that's why we don't feel we need religion.

I mean, what have you got to lose?
Try a church, try a religion, if you don’t get on with it you won’t be any worse off 🤷‍♀️

I’m not afraid of death at all and I never was before I was a Christian. I was more afraid of being alive to be honest. And for no good reason as I had a good upbringing and no major traumas. I just could not shake the feeling of pointlessness and that troubled me. I don’t seem to be able to ignore it the way that other people can.

I wonder whether you're just generally feeling unmoored? Faith might help you connect and it's certainly worth exploring, but I wouldn't necessarily limit it to just Christianity. There are so many ways of finding that connection - paganism for example is also a good way of connecting yourself with the journey that is life and finding your place in it.

Personally I'm an atheist and I'm comfortable with my own mortality, but we all have different spiritual needs. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Well you kind of can with Buddhism, since it doesn't have a deity! I'm a staunch atheist, but I think Buddhism has a lit going for it. I read a lot about it when I was going through a period of anxiety and some of its ideas were really helpful.

I find mainstream religion difficult, the ones where you have to join in, be part of the community. My faith is the result of a very scientific background, where despite my knowledge and a very logical brain, I just cannot process the fact that there is nothing beyond life.

I was brought up a Christian, baptised and confirmed, I think that the fact when you go to communion it is exactly the same as it was and has been for 100s of years is grounding and connects you to generations before you. The wording has been updated but there is a reassuring familiarity. I occasionally go to a service just to spend time quietly with my thoughts. You are not judged and if you are on your own mostly you are left to your own thoughts.

I’ve always felt that churches and places of worship have always been there for quiet meditation. A place to empty your mind and just be. We live near a cathedral city and DS attended the school attached, so I was able to frequently pop in and just have a quiet moment to myself.

I rarely “confess” to my faith, it’s no one else’s business and I’m not some born again who has found god. My faith has always been there, there may be no life after death but it makes life easier to get on with not worrying about the abyss.

I like to think that we make our own heaven on earth, churches and cathedrals have a certain atmosphere that I have also discovered in the great outdoors. Standing on a quiet beach, in an uninhabited valley or on top of a glorious Lakeland fell has the same effect on me as a quiet church.

My DS(20) recently drove over to the west coast of Wales. He was meeting up with a friend. He rang me just before he arrived to tell me he was looking at the most amazing views over Wales and could see all the way to Snowdonia. He spent the Bank holiday Monday with two friends in a kayak paddling down a river. They all said that it was the best day of their lives so far ( they are a well travelled group). They all said how different it was seeing the countryside from a different viewpoint and at a very relaxed and slower pace. I think like generations of humans we have learned to see some places as quite sacred and our relationship with land and water has always had a religious significance. I’m not so sure about modern religion but ancient religion seems much more natural and maybe this is why we stop to take in our surroundings and marvel at the world. Spirituality doesn’t have to be confined a in a building.

You don’t need to believe in god but at times it is difficult not to believe that some higher being hasn’t created all that we find so beautiful. Judging by how the human race is intent on destroying natural beauty in favour of concrete and metal, god certainly wasn’t human.

I find mainstream religion difficult, the ones where you have to join in, be part of the community. My faith is the result of a very scientific background, where despite my knowledge and a very logical brain, I just cannot process the fact that there is nothing beyond life.

Interesting - that's pretty much the exact opposite of me. I find the idea of a deity or anything supernatural utterly unbelievable, but I think it's a shame that with the decline of religion (in many western European countries at least) we have lost the community element it created.

Faith is an odd concept. I would say that I have a strong feeling of spirituality. I understand how our ancestors found some places sacred and obviously had rituals associated with their dead. We have a family place where my parent’s ashes were scattered. We have no memorial or plaques or gravestone, just a beautiful spot where we had hours of family fun. It is, and always was quite a spiritual place and we visit very occasionally. But every time it leaves me with a feeling of peace even ifs it’s pouring down with rain. Maybe because it’s off the beaten track and apart from the odd car, completely without the noise of the modern world.

Isn’t that the entire point of religion. It pacifies people’s fears. Instead of pondering the great questions of the universe, you are provided with answers.

It only works if you actually believe. Just sitting there won’t help. If you can’t make your brain conform and stop asking for real explanations, being surrounded by religion just adds an element of loneliness.

I think it can help you if you genuinely believe it. Placebo effect at its finest. I did try once to join a church but couldn't get past the feeling silly, praying to what is essentially an imaginary friend.

I don't really fear death. I fear other people's deaths. Its a lot harder to be left behind than it is to die. I wasn't aware of anything before I was born, so I guess death will be the same. I won't be aware of it. Is there such a thing as a soul? Are a soul and consciousness the same? Do they go on? I don't know, I hope so.

I find comfort in studying the universe. It makes my problems seem so insignificant and tiny. Like everything will work itself out, because it always does. We're persistent little fuckers, humanity. Like roaches. We adapt and carry on.

We shouldn't even be here. You know how unlikely we are? A stable, 9 planet system with rocky planets in the habitable zone, with a strong magnetic field to protect us but still small enough not to exert too much pull on nearby objects and cause mass extinction. We're a fucking miracle. This planet is a miracle.

We are just so inconceivably small. Do you know that you could fit over a thousand Earths inside Jupiter? The sheer scale of it blows my mind. I can't even comprehend something so huge. And it isn't even close to the biggest thing out there. Looking at that tiny bright star in the sky and knowing how big it really is, boggles the mind.

Look at Venus. It's so close to us, closer even than Mars. But we can never go there. Not even rovers can explore it. Nothing can survive there long enough to do more than briefly photograph the landscape and analyse the atmosphere before being vaporised by the intense heat.

You could stand on Saturn's moon, Titan, without a space suit. You'd need an oxygen mask to breathe and, yes, you'd freeze to death within minutes without some serious thermal gear but the pressure is similar enough to Earth's that you could walk around on the surface with no suit.

There's so much more out there than us.