What’s your life like, early 40s?

[Cloud44]

I feel like I need to mix things up a little, or get more organised, I’m not sure just feel a bit like I’m drifting, busy but drifting a bit since I turned 40. Don’t know if it’s an age thing/ perimenopause or if it’s just easy to blame that! Looking for some inspiration, what’s your life like if you are in your early 40s? What do you like about it / want to improve?

I feel the same am getting organised for the future. Got to lose weight, exercise more - just joined the gym again yesterday. Looking at health insurance, I want 40-60 to be good years for me as I think if you don't look at your life now, problems will arise.

Also taking Vit D, biotin and magnesium, I feel a difference already

I’ve massively stepped things up at work so that’s scary but exciting.

Always been a runner but now focussing more on strength and flexibility as my knees are really complaining!

Finally taking a serious look at lingering disordered eating and currently in the longest stretch of ‘recovery’ I’ve had for a long time - it means I’ve out on weight beyond what is considered ideal but I’ve finally learnt that any attempt to control my weight very quickly descends into damaging behaviour so I’m working on accepting my body and buying bigger clothes!

Hobbies are a bit non existent as kids keep me too busy (13 and 10 and they play a lot of sport) so I think that’s something I’d like to improve - maybe find something I can do around that / when at home rather than needing to get to a class or something

Also I don’t see my friends enough and I don’t really have enough friends - again it’s hard with the other commitments and sometimes I choose a peaceful weekend over cramming in more social occasions. I could do with being better / finding a compromise here!

I take vitamin D but not the other two.m @Searchingforananswer2023 .There’s so much information out there about what’s good to take and isn’t it’s a bit mind boggling! I’m also finding at this age that social life changes a little, everyone is busy, when friends are free I’m busy and vice versa whereas 10 years ago I had a really busy social life.

I am 42 married with 3 children.

I work 3 days a week which is perfect, husband works full time but we also have a business so we talk about that a lot!
I also do 6 hours a week volunteer work.

DH is possibly going to quit work and we just live off the business next year, which will be fantastic.
He’s a few years younger than me.

I go to the gym/do classes 4 times a week ish!
kids are busy with after school things, aged 5-16.

I am really happy, although sometimes do feel a bit lost or overwhelmed. The usual!
. To keep sane, I go walking and camping on my own every so often which I love (live for haha)

I take vitamin d and also Collagen. Which has transformed my hair and nails thank goodness.

Edited to add: I am really bad with actually loving my own company more than anything. I have a couple of close friends but sadly don’t have a friend group. Which I do sometimes really miss :(

I’d like to travel more - DH and I are changing financial priorities to put as much budget as we can into travelling more in the UK and abroad. Eg we have tickets for an event soon so are making a weekend of it

@AwakeNotThruChoice

Camping on your own?

oh my god I just have a new life goal for next summer thank you!!!!

I'm busy with my 7m old and 4yo, and don't have much time for exercise or a social life. I take vit D and multivitamins. I spend all week taking the baby to classes and doing the school run, and weekends are for family trips out. I'm taking a back seat on things like fitness and hobbies until my youngest goes to pre-school. I've never had a big circle of friends and I'm content with our family bubble for now. Financially we are secure and I can step down to pt hours with work, so I want to spend more time on myself during school hours in the future.

@FusionChefGeoff Don’t get me started it’s my absolute passion 😆 The feeling of peace and stillness is incredible.

I am fortunate that DH is fine with me disappearing for a few days. I love long distance hikes too and backpacking.

I have planned a Thursday night-Sunday night mini expedition (only to somewhere an hour away) in October if a dry sunny weekend comes up!

I do also take my youngest camping alone a lot during holidays. We are off today until Tuesday! The teens can now look after themselves (with Dh at home/work)

Single with a six year old. I work in a school, am always pretty skint, no maintenance from her father, but we have a nice enough life- caravan holidays and days out and we have fun.

I don't have childcare outside school hours which is limiting. I last went on a date in 2023. Although if I'm honest I can't actually be arsed with that.

I walk a lot, I cook, I bake, I have my allotment which I love, we've got a little dog.

I was very ill a few years ago and still have lingering issues but other than that life is very lovely. I'm not remotely materialistic, I don't want bigger or fancier, I don't have credit cards or debts, if I can't afford it I don't buy it. I'm happy with what we've got.

I'm the opposite, didn't socialise much in my 20s and 30s as I don't drink/smoke but now I'm off to the cinema/theatre, have joined the National Trust and am eyeing up a weekly netball team to entertain myself more. I have a very busy job and also need rest aswell.

Live on my own, with no family in NZ. Covid pretty much destroyed all of the shaky relationships I did have and finally tidying all of the that up now. Gym 3x a week, pub quiz and a singing group are now my sources for social interaction

I am directing my my money to fund travelling as I doubt I will not a be able to afford to retire.

Also taking Vit D and eating focus on eating enough protein through food and not supplements.

Early 40s, I'm too heavy and pretty busy.

Both my teens have things going on (eating disorder and SEN etc), DH has an ongoing health concern, my parents are starting to creak and need a bit of help. And I'm helping them clear two deceased relatives houses.

Work was great, I've stepped up so am now feeling nervous about that. It will look ok on my CV though.

Personal life goals at this stage are to get fitter and declutter. I feel I will be in a supporting role for the next decade so I need to look after myself!

I’m 41, single with one child who is 20. Work full time as a teacher, absolutely love my job, earn a decent amount and have a great school that doesn’t pile on th pressure so I get plenty of leisure time. I decided to get fit when I turned 40, I’ve lost 9 stone in a year though WLI, have taken up running 3 times a week, swim weekly and go to yoga class. Have lots of friends, meet up for dinner and/or drinks once or twice a month. Have a holiday abroad and at least one weekend away each year with various friends. Am the happiest I’ve been in years but it’s come after a lot of hardship.

Like @AwakeNotThruChoice my hobbies are long distance hiking and camping on my own. I could also get evangelical about that so don’t get me started.

3DC at various stages but mostly old enough to sort themselves out day to day. I’m lucky enough to be mostly healthy but one DC has major health issues which cause a lot of worry. I go running three times a week and am working on speed and getting my 5k time up. I walk and hike whenever I can.

I work full time in a very busy and stressful role which really does take it out me.

I play an instrument but I started learning another about a year ago so I practice those most days. Go out with friends, usually meeting for a hike or a run or some food or a drink or any combination of these. Have a lovely selection of old and new friends at the moment which is nice. Long term partner of over 20 years just brought me breakfast in bed.

I love to cook and do go a bit overboard sometimes with daily meals just because it makes life less boring.

I don’t take any supplements, I don’t know how much I weigh but I usually buy size 8-10 clothes. I’ve got a couple of wobbly bits but I don’t really care. I wear SPF every day, no other specific lotions or potions - no greys or wrinkles that I can see yet but I do have some forehead lines I’m not a huge fan of.

We aren’t rich in any way, we have our worries, I drink a bit too much wine but overall everything is busy but good.

I'm 44. This year I finally got my dream job after years of being very unhappy in the workplace. I'm busy, the shifts are varied and long but I love it.
I also act and produce theatre shows which lets my creativity run wild and I perform in different theatres and meet people from all walks of life.
My children are a bit more independent now and navigating life with a pre-teen is interesting!
I'm taking skincare more seriously now.
I could do with cutting down on alcohol and exercising more so that's my next goal

Just turned 42. Work 3 days a week teaching and about 4-5 hours per week tutoring adults. I have a gorgeous, sweet, funny 6 year old who has just received autism diagnosis. She is low support needs but requires more emotional support than average child so that is quite all consuming. Love her to bits and feel lucky to have her. Enjoy taking her to the cinema, playground, out for lunch :)

Used to be a big reader, film goer, etc but have lost that part of myself completely and am aiming to try and get some of that back in the next few years. I’ve picked up a musical instrument again and plan to read more.

Also planning to do a postgrad course in next few years which will allow me to work for myself.

Like other posters, big focus is on health now and trying to get out of some disordered eating patterns.

I feel pretty happy with day to day life overall. I’m lucky I get to spend so much time with DD and I live in a lovely place.

I loved being 40, loved my job, my niece got married overseas and I attended and then extended my trip. DH and the children didn’t come. I was also doing committee work for a charity I felt strongly about. I was still climbing trees and hiking quite long distances. No more tree climbing since early 40’s and no more 20 mile hikes.

I'm mid 40's and single parent to 1 DC who is 14.
We got a dog a few years ago so being outside daily, no matter the weather has helped a lot as I work from home. I find myself feeling a bit good even when it is raining when I have been out with her for an hour. As a knock-on effect it's getting me into nature, daily exercise and a waggy companion who likes to keep my feet warm in the winter.

The other handy thing about seperating an hour for dog/walk/nature is that I can listen to a book or podcast on the route. I'm trying to focus on female authors as they do seem to resonate more and have better characters, in my opinion. I like finding the female voice now, which I hadn't really thought about in my 30's.

I also take supplements - multivit "Free Soul Female" ones and am adding in Ashwaganda&Lionsmane and a probiotics one as I found I was bloating again over this holiday period (probably because DC is around and I'm not eating as well due to the increase in meals and snacks).

Quite happy in general - would like an extra £600pm to have more Waitrose orders, holidays and general house-proofing protection, but we are managing for now. DC being that bit older has made me consider the future when uni happens and I am considering starting a commune with like-minded single mother friends...TBC!

Tough! Single and wish I could find a decent man. That seems impossible these days.
Two lovely teen DD who are growing up fast and I feel a bit at sea sometimes as a result. Job I don’t like and trying to reboot, but that’s also hard at this stage of life.
Trying to work on fitness as I feel exhausted a lot of the time. Periods stopped a few years back but can’t take HRT as it doesn’t agree with me. Oh and struggle with friendships and feeling lonely a lot! Sounds not great, but also feel more myself than I ever have in life, so I guess that’s a positive.

I’m 40 in a few months. I am happily married and I have 2 DC age 10 and 12 who are really busy with a sport so a lot of my time is spent ferrying them around. I changed careers 6 months ago so that is going well although I’m keen for promotion asap for a bit more money. I live in a nice house in the South East so lucky for this. At the moment I have my health although I should probably start taking more vitamins and supplements and eat more as I’m a bit underweight.

I’m about to turn 45. I’m definitely entering my second phase of adulthood. 20s-40s I was building a very successful career, got a PhD, found a lovely husband, had kids, bought a beautiful house, but I also had to deal with a lot of trauma, horrible toxic family dynamics, I was, as it turned out, an alcoholic, was burning out, subconsciously really hating my career that I worked so hard for.

I got sober at 42, then I got cancer, and I lost my job because of that. Sounds horrible but it’s been an absolute blessing in disguise, one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I should hopefully by early next year be done with cancer treatment, then I’m planning to retrain and start a new career path. I have a book that’s been batting around in my head that I want to write. I do some peer support work in addiction and I’d like to step that up a bit. I’ve lost 15kg and I’d like to lose a bit more and start strength training once I’m done this cancer stuff. I already do lots of wild swimming and was doing a lot of hiking before I got ill (I hiked 100 miles in the weeks before I had surgery last year).

Oh and I got a horse! I grew up with horses, but haven’t ridden really since I was early 20s. I got a horse again at 41 and I love him and I’m looking forward to doing lots more with him in the next few years (he’s only 4, so still a baby).

So these years have definitely been about coming back to my core interests and values and things that give me joy. I’m lucky I still have a lovely Dh and dc to support me. But I’ve definitely come to appreciate that life is a gift and it’s purely by luck that I’m still here. I’m making the most of the time I have now instead of taking it for granted.

My dc are the upper end of primary now and I have just started to feel like I have some time back.

I really want to spend more time with my friends as so much of that time gets eaten up with young dc & have more spontaneity.

I did think at this stage I would increase my hours at work (do 25 hrs a wk) but I can't see ever wanting to do that now 😆

A bit lost really. On paper all is well - stable 15 year marriage, two great kids, a decent paying job (potentially a little more unstable but going to try to do some training to future proof myself a bit) though I feel a bit disconnected from the work.

But I don’t really have a social circle - I have lots of what feel like surface friendships where I live, my older friendships are further away geographically, I struggle in social situations, am disastrous at small talk and don’t feel I have deep enough connections to share the heavier stuff in my head with anyone here. I feel like I’m always holding myself back.

My hangover anxiety is so extreme even after only a couple of drinks that I don’t feel comfortable drinking any more.

And over the last few months I’ve really struggled with all-consuming intrusive memories of stupid things I did when I was in my teens/early 20s which I don’t really know what to do with. I don’t know if that’s a perimenopause thing or if I’m just a bit mad 😆

I think I need to put myself out there and find a hobby but self-consciousness is getting in the way - if anyone has found something in this age/stage that works for them I’d love some ideas. I already go to the gym but very much solo, don’t enjoy working out with a partner!

I need a hobby too, it used to be dance & even as an adult I did 4-5 classes a week but I don't have the time for that yet.