Are ALL home printers complete bastards?

[CharliesAngles]

As in, really unreliable, expensive and utterly contemptible temperamental twats?

We've had three.
All "good" brands - HP, Epson etc, and they've all been absolutely useless.
Only print come alive when they feel like it.
Refuses to connect to the WiFi.
Always running out of ink (Like, how???? When you've refused to print a damn thing ever?!)
Not even wanting to print out loads. It's just the odd thing for DCs school work now and then.

Just wondering if I'm missing something here, and all you wonderful MNs are in some secret club, and actually know of the Holy Grail of home printers?

Share please? 🙏

Yes! I was swearing at it only yesterday. I have to completely set it up and connect it to the bloody wi-fi every single time (and I use it semi-regularly, probs twice a week-ish).

God yes. Though I also have an 'edible' printer that prints using edible ink onto rice paper and fondant sheets for cake decorating. If my normal Epson ink printer is a bastard then my edible Canon is an utter bitch! Virtually unusable and forever printing only half the colours due to clogging of something or another. I can no longer be bothered to use it - way too stressful. Don't ever buy one!

I have sat at home and cried three times in the last year and each time it was due to the chuffing printer!

I've got an hp inkjet ,just this morning it printed 1 page of my p60 then refused everything else, everytime I tried to print the hp cloud said can't connect with the printer so I uninstalled the app,reinstalled it and switched off the printer at the wall....and it worked!!!!!!, 1 and a half hours trying to print in total,including running out of paper and the ink cartridge needed changing!🙄

I hate mine. I seriously nearly threw it out the window once. I'd given it a good talking to and then the paper got stuck..... I'd warned it what would happen ! It was only the fear of hitting someone on the head that stopped me 🤣

Yep, many dreadful experiences with inkjet printers from HP in particular. Cartridges drying out after not being used, planned obsolescence, ink costing more per ml than Dom Perignon champagne... The final straw was when it decided to only print from my wife's iPhone (and then, only in 3/4 size) but would still happily scan to my laptop.

We took the plunge and bought a Canon laser printer which both prints and scans double sided. It cost quite a bit more than the typical SOHO inkjet, but has repaid in sanity preservation several times over. It's not perfect - every few months it unilaterally changes its IP address so it prints but doesn't scan - but I'd never go back to HP, particularly the ones where you have to sign up to a bloody just-in-time ink resupply service. What the hell is that about?

Yes. I think my childhood printer from 1998 was far far more reliable than the three we've had in more recent years.

Sorry, had to steal for my “Venn diagram” album. At least the cat doesn’t need the wifi

https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/25/straight_outta_1996_why_were/

Mine demands daily software updates via my computer and then refuses to link to the computer / update.

How many software updates can a poxy little printer need? I want it to copy my Bin Day Schedule, not run a NASA mission.

“Rage Against The Machine never specified what they were cross with, but pretty sure it was a printer” - a meme that made me laugh a while ago!

The one we have now is actually pretty obliging, as long as you go to the other end of the house before you ask it to print. If you’re within 20m it refuses to be ‘seen’ by the computer, but as long as we accommodate that foible it works perfectly! The WiFi router lives in the same room as the printer. None of my tech savvy friends can come up with an explanation for why this is.

All the software and "apps" are for the manufacturers benefit. Not yours.

Printing standards were pretty much locked in 25 years ago. The protocols haven't changed since then.

Usb printing is easier to troubleshoot so will be more reliable

WiFi printing can be complicated by some features within your virus scan software. Fixed one the other day, and it turned out the virus scan had a built in vpn, which meant it was technically on a network to the printer

Whenever I turn mine on a message comes up accusing me of not having turned it off correctly the previous time. It has an on/off button for said function which appears to me, you can correct me here if you like, to be the way to turn the sodding thing off. I don't know, maybe it wants me to formally express my thanks in the medium of dance and provide it with a financial tip to prove my gratitude before pressing said button. The snide message won't go away until you click OK thereby ensuring you take full responsibility for said incorrect turning off.

I nearly lost my reason trying to print back to back on it despite doing several trials using paper with drawn on arrows and notes vis a vis which way up and round to refeed in the pages to print the right way up on the second side. I used a full set of inks in the process. My left eye still twitches when I think of it.

I refer you to my suggestion to plug the fucker in.

My last role had to ensure a packing warehouse actually worked. Which meant no Microsoft (obviously) and (almost) no WiFi. Everything was cabled in. We used fanless PCs as the paper dust was a killer.

Lol.
This is what's on offer on my friend's local Freecycle site...

Zoomed in to avoid identifying details of the innocent giver-awayer.

In the description, it says
"Stuck in startup mode"
😆

My HP printer forgets how to grab paper, the previous one did too. The previous one got smashed up by being thrown all over the back garden, I've not felt such stress relief since.

I detest my HP deskjet. I declined the instant ink subscription and I swear they built it to deliberately not work without it. Infuriating. I've basically got a scanner now which connects to the wifi when it feels like it... which isn't often. I'd never buy another HP after this. Got to wonder if the printer companies realise how offputting their product is for future purchases.

We had one advertised locally (Manchester) as in working order, but only accepts ink cartridges from Hong Kong.

I declined the instant ink subscription and I swear they built it to deliberately not work without it.

If your printer can connect to the internet this is entirely possible.

I also think they feed off stress levels and how important the document you need to print is. If it’s really important and you need it NOW it will not work but if it’s of no real importance and you don’t particularly need it immediately it will work like a dream.

Oh this thread has cheered me up no end.

My bastard is a HP Envy. Joined some scheme with HP where I pay them a fiver a month, I can print up to 50 pages and they send me ink when I start to run out - they "know" apparently because the printer speaks to them in some way. I think it might be a MLM scheme.

● I've never managed to print more than 3 pages. Then it turns it's toes up and faints in the style of a Victorian lady with an attack of the vapours half way through the third page.

● I've never run out of ink in 18 months - see issue 1 for reason why.

● It never connects to the WiFi - I've resorted to a cable between the printer and laptop.

● HP Smart app is anything but smart.

● The pretty lights akin to something from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" are just a distraction technique to fool you into thinking it's actually doing something. Extra points if it sounds like it's picking up a piece of paper from the tray.

Not many things make me feel murderous but trying to print something makes me want to turn to drink.

Any outfit that relies on printing really needs to outsource printer maintenance.

When I worked in an education setting (printing 20,000 sheets a day) we had a contract with a Kyocera dealer. They charged per sheet printed and would come out and replace toner etc proactively when the machine alerted them. They had a same day SLA.

Worked really well until Microsoft managed to bork Windows 10 printing for the entire company with a(nother) shitty update trying to fix a bug from the 1980s.

YES is the answer to your question OP

Last time we threw the printer out of the window I swore I would get a Brother laser one, but somehow we've ended up with another HP with instant ink...Cue angry conversations with HP re: non delivery of ink "Check around your workstation" ARGHHH

Why WHY can they never connect wirelessly to the pc? I have to go through my phone if I want anything to actually print.

Quite often the issue is 5g and 4g wifi - many printers even new ones don't work with 5g. You have to create a new network for them.