Has your gut instinct about someone ever proved true?

[Dappy777]

Have you ever had a gut feeling that someone who seemed nice was actually horrible? And has it ever been correct? We have two ways of assessing people (apparently). There is the initial, non-verbal, ‘gut’ reaction, and then there is the rational assessment which follows. Often the two conflict. So you might have a negative gut reaction, but then find your mind saying “no, hang on, give her a chance, she’s probably nice.”

For example, my sister took her dog for a walk shortly after moving to a new area. A guy in his 60s came jogging past and stopped to say hello. He was super friendly and smiley and nice, but she said he made her skin crawl. In spite of the gushing welcome and nice manners there was something ‘off’. She later found out that he was a convicted paedophile. How do we do it? What is it we pick up on? Is it something in the body language or the tone of voice or what?

I did with a friends new boyfriend.

Don't know what it was, but from the first time I met him my guard went up and there was something wrong.

But equally I didn't say anything to her about it which was kind of good kind of bad.

Bad because the relationship was horrendous as it turned out.
Abusive. Physical, sexual and financial.
Plus he'd managed to alienate her from other friends and her limited family. ( I'd begun to notice this)

None of which she told anyone about till too late. She lost everything.

Good because I was the only one left she could turn to.
She asked why didn't I say anything to her....because she was so blinded , I'd have gone the same way as everyone else.
Which she did actually acknowledge was more than likely.

Turns out apart from an absolute abusive arsehole, he'd lied about everything, wasn't some hotshot top manager bloke, was married and had a kid!

Interesting. Yes, that’s exactly the sort of thing I had in mind. It’s funny how some people seem to have this gut reaction and others don’t. I have known very intelligent people who seem to have no intuition. They just assume everyone is nice and don’t seem to pick up on odd mannerisms or body language. I have also known others who are incredibly intuitive, to the point where you can’t hide anything. Ex-police officers are especially good at this. I guess their intuition is honed through years of practice. Also you have to be good at assessing people if you’re in the police (or emergency services). Your life might depend on it.

This makes me think of a documentary I once saw on Fred West. A lady who was interviewed recalled hitchhiking as a teen and a couple pulling over and offering her a lift. The female passenger (Rose West) seemed really sweet and friendly and the lady was about to get in when the driver (Fred West) leaned across his wife and looked into her eyes. She didn’t know who he was, of course (this was years before they were arrested), but she said she gasped in fear and without being aware of it stepped back into the hedge. Amazing really. Just one look at this complete stranger’s eyes and she knew she was in danger.

I once worked at a primary school one morning a week (teaching piano).
The headteacher gave me the creeps, but there was no rational reason why, really
About a year after I started working there, the headteacher seemed to have gone awol for a while, and nobody was saying why or where he was.
Anyway, I saw on the local news that he was on trial for having placed a camera device, which just looked like a pen, in the staff toilets. So was basically filming staff (including me..) using the toilet. It wasn't clear whether he had put a similar device in the pupils' toilets also.
Apparently the caretaker had found it.
When I think of all the safeguarding courses and training I have to do as part of my job, it seems a huge irony that a headteacher did this.
He got 2 years in prison and is never allowed to teach, or work with children again.
But yes, my first gut instinct about him.proved to be correct.

Once yes. A friend's new partner. Somehow I knew the first time I met him that he was vile and abusive. Took over a year for her to confide and eventually escape.

I thought it was because he reminded me of my father, but that said another time with a close relatives partner I was shocked when she revealed he was abusive as there were no outward signs at all. Instinct didn't work that time at all

I definitely agree that gut instinct is a thing, and mums instinct!

when meeting my bil I just really didn’t like him, tolerated him, but I just didn’t like him for some reason. A couple of years later we find out that he has been having an affair, and had been speaking with the other woman during their wedding day!

I forgot to say about my story that when I saw it on the news. I somehow wasn't shocked or surprised at all. It just made sense!

At a house party, host asked me to give her male cousin a lift home. He was good looking, charming etc but I just didn't want to. Couldn't say no as was going that way and was hosts cousin.

He wouldn't get out of the car. He wanted me to come up to his flat. He said we had to get out together. Midnight, dark Road, absolutely terrified, no mobile phones.

After an hour of his just sitting and asking, finally convinced him to get out and ' be a gentleman and open my door for me' leaned across, locked his door, started up, accelerated away with my door swinging open and him chasing on foot after the car. Could hardly drive from trembling with fear.

His cousin didn't belive me, no one did ' such a lovely chap' he wasn't. I wish I'd said I couldn't give him a lift, not been persuaded. It still haunts me now, the terror.

Many times. Im known as the doubting mustafa. The worst one though...

My husband, my 3 year old and I used to go to a friend's bbqs during the summer. My hisband has known this guy and family his whole life and treated them like family. Always had a feeling with my husbands friends brother that something was off but could not understand why.

One day I was looking for my daughter at one of these bbqs and found her coming down the stairs with this guy. He said she needed the toilet so he took her. I was extremely uneasy about it but my daughter seemed fine and didn't say anything happened. No evidence of wrong doing. I kept him away from her after that.

He eventually got sent to prison for sexual assault on his 10 year old step daughter.

I hope and pray nothing happened that day with my daughter and it knocks me sick everytime I think of it.

Yes I felt this the second I met a friends new boyfriend many years ago. Everyone else thought he was wonderful. Turned out he was abusive and also a paedophile. We ended up falling out over him and haven’t spoken since, 20 years on. He went to prison.

@Beesandhoney123 That sounds absolutely terrifying.

As a child, Jimmy Saville. I simply couldn't understand why people thought he was 'normal' let alone a kind person. He screamed nonce to me.

Yes. A new colleague joined the company I worked for as the new receptionist, on the first day she arrived late by about an hour and said she had got stuck behind a caravan!
I didn’t believe her, anyway she was sickly sweet and I didn’t take to her everyone else said I was being mean.

She then stole thousands of pounds from the company and had also done it to the previous company she had worked at.

My mum had a gut instinct about my first serious boyfriend. Turned out, he was a fraudster. He skimmed money from the (multinational) company he worked for. When my mum wrinkles her nose, I know she can smell a literal rat.

Yes, it's happened to me a fair few times. Unfortunately, the last time it did I allowed myself to be love-bombed and believed this woman was actually a good friend. It hurt so much when I saw her for what she really was and especially as so many were singing her praises for doing amazing things for the community.
My initial reaction to her had been one of caution and uncertainty. She was so friendly, bubbly and generous, I ignored my gut reaction.

I also was utterly repulsed by Jimmy savile as a child.
I didn’t usually much notice what adults wore when I was a child, but I hated his horrible clothes, cigars and awful jewellery. It more than just clothes though, it was a visceral revulsion I never had about anyone else on telly.

That's awful and so upsetting for you. You and your poor daughter regardless of whether anything happened, he should never have had the audacity to take your 3yo to the toilet without your knowledge. Despicable man.

Yes. I lived in Israel for a short time. I’d been in Jerusalem for meetings, and realised I’d be late for my late afternoon meeting in Tel Aviv if I got the bus, so flagged down a taxi. The driver was an Arab, spoke no English and little Hebrew, but seemed helpful enough. Showed him where I needed to go on a map, he said no, but would drop me at a bus station instead. Fine. I could get a bus from there or another taxi to my office. We were driving down the Ayalon (motorway), and I started feeling uneasy, but didn’t know why. He suddenly pulled off the motorway, drove a bit down a dirt track and said “problem.” But instead of opening the bonnet to look at the engine, he opened the boot. I just went ice cold, got out and ran as fast as I could back to the motorway (it was literally only feet, but the car was in a slight dip, not concealed but not seen immediately from the road) where I managed to flag down a car immediately. I hadn’t thought what I would do if he had chased me. Explained hysterically to the driver, who pulled me in, and as we drove off, saw my original taxi driver pulling a rope out of the boot. I’ve no idea how he didn’t realise I had run off, or perhaps there really was no mal intent, but I suddenly felt things were going to go very wrong. The driver of the car that stopped for me took me all the way to my office and I have never been so grateful to anyone. We reported it to the police but I didn’t have the car number, so I doubt anything came of it.

Name changed as its a bit outing (dont think this is a common scenario).

I met my Mums latest boyfriend (well they had announced getting married soon), my Sister said he was lovely and the first nice guy she had dated in a while so was very keen for me to meet him. Something felt off, I cant say exactly what, but I didnt like him despite the friendly persona. I went home and did some digging as he said he wasnt in touch with his adult children any more. I found those people and I contacted them with the excuse of wanting to reach out before a possible wedding.
I got the odd response asking if I had children, well it turned out he was a convicted sex offender. What transpired over the coming days was that my Mum knew about the conviction, the police had visited and had asked if she had children and she lied, never even mentioned the grandchildren.

It transpired he wasnt supposed to be near schools, yet had been coming along to pick up my niece and nephew with my mum. The whole thing was a mess, but it only came out because I just had a gut instinct that something about him wasnt quite right. My Sister had met him a few times and absolutely loved him and thought he was great, so she was very grateful I had done some digging. Was a horrid situation.

That’s utterly terrifying @FeatheryFlorence ! 😱

Rose was just as bad, if not worse, than he was.

I regularly take an instant dislike to seemingly perfectly pleasant people and I’ve got a good enough success rate that if I say I don’t like someone I don’t really know, or I warn them to be careful around them, my loved ones listen to me. I mean, they take the piss, but they do listen and proceed with caution.

It’s definitely not a sixth sense or anything, although my aunt used to refer to the women in our family as witches, because we’re good at seeing things coming. I’ve worked with a couple of people who have been convicted of doing the most dreadful things and I didn’t have a clue. One I found perfectly pleasant and the other one I couldn’t stand but that’s because he was a lazy fucker who was rubbish at his job and he had a stupid fringe.

I think it’s a combination of being reminded of other people, or picking up on facial expressions or innocent comments and thinking that they’re a bit off.

Many times, but I can read auras & sense a person's energy. Not legit methods, so I'm not always taken seriously when I have doubts about someone.

Something, even if tiny or fleeting, must’ve made you feel uneasy on the motorway. Can you think of anything?

Yes, a few times and always proved right.