Have you ever known someone who committed a serious crime?

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

I’ve been listening to a true crime podcast recently and it got me thinking. One of the episodes was about Fred and Rose West. When Fred was first arrested (at the stage where police had only uncovered three bodies in the garden), his brother and sister-in-law spoke about him and said they couldn’t believe he’d done what he was accused of, as he had always seemed so gentle and polite spoken.

It made me wonder — has anyone here ever known someone who’s committed a serious crime, and did it come as a total shock? Or were there warning signs in hindsight? Did you ever suspect anything at the time? And how did others around them react — was it disbelief, or did some say they weren’t surprised?

Nothing violent that I am aware of, but a work colleague omitted to tell our employers that they had been to jail for stealing from their previous employer. They had been there for a few months when it all came out.

A boy in my sister's school year was convicted of armed robbery a couple of years after leaving school. The criminal mastermind pointed a gun at the post office cashier, and ordered her to fill his bag with cash. Only problem was, it was his old school bag, and it had his name written inside.

I knew of someone whom I had suspicions about.
No definite details but he moved about and had various jobs in schools teaching music.
Private lessons etc.
I tried to report him to national crime agency as I did not know his present location.
I was wary of giving too much information as to how why I suspected him as I had lived in the same place for decades and didn't want any tracing back to me.
Anyway I saw a hard bitten man at the nca who was dismissive.
There was also a more sympathetic younger woman with him. But she was obviously junior and couldn't take any action
Years later I read he had been convicted at crown court and jailed for serious sexual assaults against schoolboys.
These offences occurred after I'd contacted the nca.
They only came to light through the Internet and old boys reminiscing.
Each thought they were the only one...
He'd followed one from prep school to senior. It included abuse while flying a light aircraft...and while staying in his brother's house.
Who never believed it...sigh.
None of this surprised me. But the details were sickening.

My high school boyfriends brother was arrested and found guilty off affray, he was fresh out of school himself and killed a man with his dad, after hitting the man over the head.
My uncle killed a man who broke into his house.
My sons dads (my ex) FIL was convicted of sex offences against his own granddaughter. He was then shocked when I refused to allow our son around him once he was released.
A friend I've had since childhood has turned out to be a criminal. He is currently wanted for multiple offences involving drugs/county lines and vehicles. Needless to say he isnt a friend anymore

Yes my ex husband was arrested for indecent images crimes after the police raided my home. That was a shock. Together several decades and obviously had no idea.

I found out recently that one of my teachers is now in prison for sexually abusing 13 and 14 year olds, the same age as I was when he taught me. I always liked him in school and never suspected there was anything off about him at all. I usually consider myself a good judge of character but in this case I clearly had no idea what he was really like.

I dunno - they get grants etc and local councillors support them , they seem to be turning a blind eye- everyone in our town seems to be doing it

Yes. A high profile serial killer. I knew his family better, I didn't know him incredibly well, an "exchange pleasantries" if we saw each other in the street kind of thing and at social gatherings. I'd have bought him a drink if we were standing next to each other at the bar, but I wouldn't have gone back to his table to chat.

I was utterly, utterly shocked. It was shocking that the measures I'd suggested to protect the young women in my family at the time would have been pointless.

Work colleague murdered his wife. They'd left the company before this happened

A caretaker from a secondary school I worked at many years ago was convicted for abuse of multiple children - little girls. Very young - not secondary school pupils. I would never have suspected a thing, seemed like a lovely chap, always very helpful. No prior convictions.

An acquaintance from the US turned out to be an art thief and was jailed for about a year. I didn't know her well enough to be surprised or otherwise when I found out.

An ex boyfriend from when I was about 16 turned out to be a complete wrongun and has served quite a few years over multiple stints for everything from drug dealing to armed robbery. I didn't stay with him for very long because I realised he was a total dick, but had no idea at the time what he was capable of - although wasn't surprised by it. His parents and sister were absolutely lovely and very normal people, it certainly wasn't triggered by a bad upbringing.

Remembered another one - one of my best friends from secondary school. Her stepdad was abusing her for years but none of us had a clue until she finally opened up about it many years later. He is now thankfully in jail and she is getting on with her life. I lost touch with her for a few years and was horrified when we got back in touch and she told me about it all. I wish I could have been around to support her but am very proud of her for what she has come through.

Oh, I'd forgotten this one, a gang of youths used to hang around near where I used to live, they were a bit ASBOish but spent most of their time graffitiing walls so not too much bother. One of them, however, stood out, a lanky young man with a menacing air. Definitely one to avoid. I was pretty disturbed to find he was the boyfriend of a much younger colleague of mine at work and crossed my fingers for her. Not so long after this, he murdered, stabbed to death, a local, shop worker, seemingly unprovoked. He's been detained at His Majesty's Pleasure in Broadmoor since then, where he has committed further violent crimes. One of those cases who will never be released thank heavens.

A student I assisted was convicted of murdering his parents. I didn’t know him but was interviewed by the Police as I had spoken to him and it was thought it may have helped track his movements, I wasn’t called to give evidence.

I have also had the misfortune of meeting a lovely guy who was murdered in London by violent muggers. Nephew of a friend, tragic case.

Yes he was a friend of ours, known him all my life and he lived a few doors down from me when we were kids, he was quietish but funny also very polite & respectful, hard working and he was talk dark and handsome,a bit dark and moody looking but gorgeous smile, if you knew him you just liked him!
His girlfriend was also a life long friend ours she was lovely blonde, beautiful sweet, fun we had a lot of fun together, I loved listening to her stories & she could crack a great joke, justly a very bubbly, friendly kind girl. We would socialise lot in a wide circle of friends at each other's houses parties etc & they came to our wedding.
They were madly in love and insanely jealous of each other, if you were with one of them they'd constantly be looking for the other half "have you seen them, who were they talking to" and so on.
One Friday night they had a silly row at home and she went off on a pub crawl with some of our friends & later that night when she got back home he stabbed her to death.
They lived next door to my gran at the time, luckily she never heard a thing, I'm so glad she didn't.
He got life in jail.

I worked with a man for a few years, socialised with him as well in a group.
He was a pedophile. Was caught by a vigilante group arranging to meet a 12 year old. Had lots of child born on his devices too. I was utterly shocked. He didn't give off any creepy vibes at all. He just seemed like a normal fella.
Somehow that made it even more frightening that you really dont know anyone.

Friend of DP confessed to abusing his stepdaughter
Former colleague caught trying to set up dates with underage girls
Friend's partner imprisoned for causing someone death through drunk driving - he was DV as well but was never reported for that

We were horrified.

I used to think you couldn’t possibly not know. But then a friend was arrested and charged with serious child abuse and neglect. I genuinely could not believe it. It was so so far apart from the person I knew. She was kind, gentle, caring. Proper shock. Now it makes me wonder who else I know is doing terrible things or capable of them but haven’t done it yet. You can never really know someone.

I knew two wrong’uns and they were both creepy af.
One was someone I went to primary with. Had severe mental health issues and in our early 30s killed someone and tried to kill a second person, before taking his own life. The signs were all there when we were younger. I never knew his parents, but his behaviour wasn’t normal. I stayed well away from him at school, and I remember confronting him at one point when it got too much. Didn’t go down well! I’m sure he must have got his ideas from close relatives, there’s just no other explanation for such extreme views at 8 / 9.

The other person was a next door neighbour. Gave me the heeby jeebies as a toddler. Hated going round. Turned out to be one of Britain’s worst paedophiles of the era (in the words of the judge). Horrific. He was smarmy and creepy af, even to a 3 year old (luckily I think I was too young even for his taste). Thankfully he went down for a long, long time. He’s only just got back out - think he was inside for 25 or 30 years.

I knew a guy at uni - quiet type and shy - stabbed his mum to death. A tragic story which shocked us all.

What’s scary and the most sickening thing is just how many people seem to know someone arrested for child abuse, being in possession of/making indecent photos and other sex crimes against children. There’s a lot of human garbage out there. Seemingly ‘normal’ people who are incredibly dangerous and always will be. They shouldn’t see the light of day tbh. Or breath.

I’ve read threads on mn in the past where people commenting seem incredibly naive about how prevalent it is.

🤣🤣🤣

One of my colleagues murdered his father and dumped his body in a bin. Another childhood friend had child porn on his computer (no longer a friend, blocked).

@Pricelessadvicei had exactly the same experience. Very weird. Immediately everybody blocked on phone, Facebook etc.

What's the source for this statistic?

Yes. A relative (thankfully by marriage, not by blood) of my husband. A very serious, evil series of crimes committed over several years, which was only discovered relatively recently (a sentencing date has only recently been set, relative confessed all and pled guilty). The relative was already known for marital abuse and was also obnoxious towards their own children. I'm just thankful that I only met this person once (that was certainly enough; I didn't get a good feeling) and my children never met (and will never meet) them.

Better news though, I also knew a woman who rented rooms to ex prisoners on licence inq# a halfway house rehabilitation scheme. 90 per cent murderers..Er, has that ever caused you a problem? "Oh no, dear, by the time they get to me, all they want is a quiet life. I've been doing this for 10 years and never had a problem."