Have you ever known someone who committed a serious crime?

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

I’ve been listening to a true crime podcast recently and it got me thinking. One of the episodes was about Fred and Rose West. When Fred was first arrested (at the stage where police had only uncovered three bodies in the garden), his brother and sister-in-law spoke about him and said they couldn’t believe he’d done what he was accused of, as he had always seemed so gentle and polite spoken.

It made me wonder — has anyone here ever known someone who’s committed a serious crime, and did it come as a total shock? Or were there warning signs in hindsight? Did you ever suspect anything at the time? And how did others around them react — was it disbelief, or did some say they weren’t surprised?

I haven't, but dh taught two kids who later turned out to be murderers. Obviously you don't expect kids you teach to go on to murder anyone, but I don't think dh was especially surprised that these two came to no good.

During my early twenties I lived in shared housing (renting a room) … one of my housemates and her partner murdered a man and was both convicted.
He was stabbed over 40 times.
She was naive and emotionally immature herself, when I saw her with this bloke she’d met, I knew it was bad news (I am NOT justifying what she did btw, she was responsible too) I’m just saying I think she was the type to be easily led/swayed on things that were ‘grey areas’ anyway … and her and this bloke together just spiralled into something else entirely. The incident was drug related.

The police asked if we (myself and the other residents too) would be willing to give character references/statements. I participated.

Yes. My cousin used to work with a man who murdered his wife. My cousin used to go for Friday night drinks with him and 7 or 8 other colleagues, and me and several of my extended family, and also my DH used to be there too. (Many of us actually knew each other...even though we didn't all work in that workplace) I met this bloke a number of times. You would never have thought he had it in him. He looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, and seemed very timid. He flew into a rage when he caught his wife cheating, and killed her.

I also know (did know) a couple of women who were murdered by their husbands. Didn't know the men well, but did meet them several times. Lived within 2-3 miles of me.

Also, a lad from school (back in the 1980s) killed one of our ex classmates... a girl.. And about 15 years ago, one man I knew on a big sink estate 1 mile from me, murdered his stepdaughter, and left her in the graveyard. Finally, I know a man who killed his 2 year old stepson. About 20 years ago.

Horrific! I never realised I knew so many people who had killed, or been killed. There is probably more.......

I don't know the answer to this, but I have the impression that porn is addictive and some men (because it's going to be mostly men using it) crave worse and worse stuff because what used to be top shelf magazine stuff just doesn't give them any thrill any more. The algorithms feed them with awful things and they don't have the moral backbone and strength of will to turn away from it and if necessary seek help to break the addiction. Also, like habitual drug users, I assume they don't think at all about the people harmed in the making of the content.

The priest who baptised my dc. Embezzlement of church funds...

Yes. I won’t go in to details, but it rocked the family and even now a few years on when I think about it I’m shocked all over again.

I have taught children who committed crimes as adults including one murderer.

Yes. Manslaughter.

I know someone who was convicted for drink-driving, not first offence, had an accident involving another party (nobody was hurt thankfully but could have been). He went to prison for a few months. One of my son's friend's dad was imprisoned for fraud, I don't know the details but the sentence wasn't long. I haven't personally known anybody convicted of a violent crime.

I've read and heard that this is the case. People (men) get addicted to porn and then to get that thrill and rush they seek increasingly hardcore material - and there is a lot on offer.

Yes. I knew someone who got 8 years for things involving children. He was a waster for the whole time I knew him - but I would have expected drugs to be the reason he went down.

Also have two childhood friends who's dad's were convicted of child sexual abuse.

It's sad how most of the people I've come across on the wrong side of the law is to do with sex offences

I also knew a whole family that went down for fraud. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch.

A long time ago in one of my student summer jobs a co-worker got arrested and eventually ended up in prison for statutory rape of his 'girlfriend' who was 15 at the time. I'm ashamed to say that the prevailing view at the workplace (which I felt a bit dubious about but didn't challenge to my regret) was that he'd been treated very harshly, the girl knew what she was doing, she seduced him, it was a teen romance etc etc - looking back we obviously had much less knowledge of CSA and grooming back then so a lot of classic victim blaming went on. It absolutely wasn't a teen romance, he was one of the older workers and most of us were early 20s so he was probably 10 years older than her, really creepy now you think about it. He was a popular, friendly guy, liked partying and drinking, and now you look back was always particularly pally with the younger looking women on the team . To make it worse our work was indirectly with children too so all the more reason it was right he was punished and lost his job and barred from working with children, just worrying really that so many others defended him!

Just after I left school, one of the boys I was at school with drove home the morning after a night out and killed a woman who was up early for a run. He was convicted of drunk driving and manslaughter and went to prison.
I remember how surprised I was because he used to hang out in a fairly rough crowd but was known to be the 'nice' one and everyone was surprised that out of the lot of them, he was the one to go to prison.

Think we may know the same person if in the SW!
I was shocked more as I thought she was not competent enough to do her job, let alone create elaborate schemes to defraud!

I also knew a chap in a past job where one day he simply did not come in. Phone call from Prison came confirming he will be staying at HM pleasure for next 5 years. All the stories he had told us about splitting with his wife as he was gay and not seeing his kids regularly due to nowhere to stay... false. Got caught sexually assaulting a family friend's child at a sleepover. No one knew. Zilch idea. These types of people are charming, friendly and kind which is why others trust them. Even his new boyfriend had zero idea. Whole team was in shock.

Sure I've posted this before, but yes two lads from different secondary schools I attended that both went on to kill. I was told later that the first was involved in a really unpleasant attack on a man in their own home, the other I read in the papers that he had been involved in an armed robbery on a jewellers. The first lad I only knew a little for a few weeks, but he seemed nice enough. The second had a bit of a bad lad reputation/aura when he joined our school (probably had expelled from his previous school) but I have a feeling if he had had the right influence things could have been very different.

A family member sexually abused his stepdaughter. He'd always been somewhat wayward but we didn't expect that. Unfortunately he's chosen a life of crime since then, mostly robbery and forgery so we no longer have contact.

Friends boyfriend has a son who has been inside twice now. I think it’s for fraud, but not sure.

My BIL murdered someone, it was front page news. And an old manager of mine attempted to kill his wife. Neither of them were people I would ever have considered capable of such things, and both came as absolute surprises.

Ex's dad went to prison for fraud (twice..)
A couple of local teachers were found with CSA images on their computer.
A boy in my class at secondary school went to borstal (as it was then) for gbh. He was 15.

Not sure what this says about me, family or area I grew up in.

yes, one of DDads cousins for murder, another of DDads cousins for assault, a friend of DSis sent down for attempted murder and numerous others for football hooliganism

They walk among us is a fabulous podcast, there’s a book too I think?

My primary school teacher was jailed for child abuse images on his computer. He’d left to work at a senior school and started a relationship with a student just before it all came out.

My best friends boyfriends brother murdered his girlfriend.

A friend of my (now ex) husband asked him if he could set him up with a hit man to kill two people. Husband was ex-army so the friend thought he might know people like that, God knows why. H told the police, who set up a sting operation and caught the guy in the act of talking to the 'hit man' (police officer). He was jailed, as was his partner who had egged him on to commit the crime.

H received a commendation from the police and we had a few years of our phone having a direct line to the police, if ever we needed it.