Hyped-up activities that are actually shite.

[DarkestBerty]

Loads of my friends do yoga. It's really relaxing, they say. It's really mindful, they say. It's a good workout without realising you're working out, they say. It's a really nice community of people, they say.

So on Saturday morning I tried it.

It was bloody awful. Everything about it was bloody terrible. It wasn't remotely relaxing or mindful. I wasn't a very good workout and the people were cult-loke lunatics.

And I've felt a bit lightheaded, dizzy, and just not quite myself ever since.

Tell me about activities that everyone seems to have a wide-on for, but which you hated.

Ooh I love a spa day! Always go on my own, never with anyone else, with a pile of mags and a book. Massage and a pedi (pedi’s are not supposed to be enjoyed - they are generally uncomfortable and sometimes painful but the outcome is lovely). Fluffy robe, lovely lunch, swim and a hot shower. There is an art to these things….

Skiing - have lots of friends who are mad for it but i find it frankly terrifying as i have never got the hang of it. The scenery is beautiful so I get that part but I cannot fathom the sport.

• Running/jogging.
• Any kind of enforced games eg at a party - arrgh.
• Barbeques or picnics in people’s gardens - I like a proper table to eat at, not sat on a foldaway chair balancing a charred burger and a plastic cup of rose
• staying at other people’s houses - they are rarely as good as your own

Jazz evenings. Fine for fifteen minutes or so, but a whole evening of repetitive music and people trying so hard to show how relaxed and cool they are finishes me off!

It was bloody awful. Everything about it was bloody terrible. It wasn't remotely relaxing or mindful. I wasn't a very good workout and the people were cult-loke lunatics.

Either you did it wrong or had a poor instructor.

Yoga has been around for thousands of years, don’t knock what you don’t understand.

Escape rooms.

Flower arranging. I've tried, God knows I've tried, videos, classes, books... and it all STILL looks as though I've just shoved a bouquet in a bucket.

I am prepared to admit that this might just be me though.

Agree with the fake pumpkin picking. I mean, if you do it once you know it's basically just standing in a field of pre-picked pumpkins. Quite a nice picture maybe one time, people who go every year and take pictures for social media like it's am exciting family activity are a bit weird.

Spa days where you have to pay to get in, pay for "activities" like £150 for a 30min massage by a bored teenager. Then spend the day lying by a pool, inside, smelling the chlorine while you think of the things you should be doing with a whole day off before overpaying for some dried up sandwiches full of cucumber. Yay. Fun.

😂 at 'understanding' yoga

Cos it's such an art

The dreaded ski-ing would be mine. I have no doubt it’s great exercise and very exhilarating but there are cheaper ways to improve/excite/horribly injure yourself. Oddly do like ski-resorts though.

This made me laugh hard. Thanks love.

The type of wishy washy massage you get in a spa or beauticians - what's the actual point?

Cosy Christmases.

I don’t dislike Christmas for its own sake - lovely for children, nice to see family, and all that - but the “cosy Xmas PJs”, “hot choc and marshmallows”, “Christmas Eve boxes”, etc piss me right off.

Sound baths. Absolute shite.

Try a dry martini.

depends who you are throwing them at

Disliking skiing but having a DH and DS who love it on the other hand is very nice. They go away every February half-term without me 😀

The northern lights. Not the real
northern lights in Iceland or wherever they are, (except the pictures I’ve seen of those are still tedious), the ones that apparently show here every 100 years or so (though didn’t we apparently have them appearing about 10 times last year). There’s nothing different in the sky then people post these pictures that you can’t see with the naked eye, but apparently are taken with a delayed lens or something, at a weird angle whilst standing on one leg, with a cheesestring in your top pocket. They just show a pinkish hue. Nope, I’m not falling for it.

You make it sound great. If it wasn’t for the actual running bit…

Edited as posted twice 🤦‍♀️

Ski-ing - painful and what's fun about basically trying to get to the bottom of a slope without suffering injury or death.

Camping - I can end any drought in any location just by saying the word "tent". I tried glamping once to try to avoid the leaking tent misery. It rained so hard even the yurt couldn't keep the water out.

Running, or even walking fast
Any form of camping
Holidays in the Far East
Sandy beaches
Comedy shows in real life (don't mind watching some of them online)
Yoga, mindfulness, exercise classes, Pilates...
These days, getting pissed (but that's not really fair as I was an enthusiastic drinker for decades)

Disneyland. Just back. What an absolute waste of money.

I did this recently, I was bored senseless!!

Aquarobics. Friends have all said how great it is. I went, I won't go again. 45minutes of arm waving whilst jumping about in water desperately trying not to lose your footing was 45 minutes too much. Hated it.

I love exercise and fitness, but CrossFit? Spending time trying to make all exercises as unsafe as possible, is it with the aim to find the best ways to kill and maim yourself? What's wrong with lifting weights in a normal manner and not looking like a dying fish while doing what you call pull ups?

Oh yes. I now either stay in alone or go to very small house parties.