Daughter wearing see through linen trousers.

[Fushia123]

Lovely, lovely DD 23. Works and lives in Germany, home for a few weeks summer holiday. She’s great - sociable, capable, good company etc. However she can be a bit sensitive about any personal comments and I haven’t made any for years.
She is slim and tall and wears white wide legged linen trousers from Cos that she bought 3 years ago. They are well past their best.
She wears lace thongs which are very visible - sometimes dark colours underneath. Wise Mumsnetters….. is it best to stay quiet and pass no comment, or worth the fallout by pointing it out? Don’t think she realises that other people could be looking at her - what would you do?

I think leave well alone. She will know they are somewhat see through and some her age wear them deliberately

Or she could say that she usually goes commando and just put some on so as not to offend

If it was me I’d be like “Nice thong! What colour is that, hot pink?” lol

You're her mum you can tell her, full white briefs underneath would be more classy. She may well not have realised, if you don't have a full length mirror with good light you can't necessarily see these things. Why would you let her possibly be embarrassing herself and not tell her? I'm sure she will let you know if she thinks it is fine.

She will know. I have a dd the same age and it’s fashionable for their underwear to show. None of them seem to wear bras either, dd and all her friends just don’t even own bras (even though some of them are as large of boob as me - I’m a 36H). It’s just not a “thing” anymore. I find it interesting how much things have changed but then I also remember being 20ish (now 45) and doing the Britney Spears thing of wearing my jeans so low everyone could see my thong half way up my backside.

Can't believe all the tips for supposedly subtle and 'helpful' tips for telling your daughter that you're faintly ashamed/embarrassed about her see-through trousers. I'd expect them to attract a
deeply sarcastic response or a dismissive 'And?'.

She knows. White trousers aren't practical, so if you buy them you're the kind of person who checks for see-throughness when trying them on. Plus her female friends will definitely have told her if it's a wearing thin with age issue - that's part of what friends are for.

If you must say something be direct, acknowledge that the problem is that her visible thong makes you uncomfortable and ask if she'd mind wearing less obvious underwear when she's out with you - and offer to buy something that's acceptable to your sensibilities obviously. She might still refuse, but unless you have a terrible relationship that's unlikely.

And in the vanishingly unlikely scenario she's unaware, you haven't implied that she's so incompetent as to be walking around with her underwear on show.

I'm Team: She knows, and isn't bothered!

Did you say anything in the end @Fushia123 ?

I’ve just been to a festival full of 20 somethings wandering around in tops that everyone can see their nipples through and hot pants shorter than Kylie’s. She knows.

You're her mum you can tell her, full white briefs underneath would be more classy.

Classy? A massive pair of white knickers would look bloody terrible. Does anyone actually wear white knickers nowadays? 🤔

I’d probably say, ‘your trousers are see-through, you know’ and leave it at that.

Such interesting replies - thanks everyone!
I posted whilst travelling home from a short break with her and DH. I was in the back seat and the others were in front talking about music.Your replies made me smile and the journey flew by!!
When we got back she was off to see friends and we’ve got family coming all day to day. I’ve not said anything yet …. But I will!
I’ve offered numerous times to buy her new clothes but even then she is reluctant, preferring to wear what she’s got or browse in charity shops which isn’t usually fruitful. She’s not complaining about clothes at all.
We have a good relationship - she’s happy to be home for now and has a great job and home to look forward to when she goes back to Germany next week.
Body confidence is so important for young women - whatever their size, and I think my reason for posting was to get other peoples views on this which I certainly did!

@Theoturkeyflieswest

Would you mind sharing you experience?

I really don't understand this at all. My mum would tell me and I would be very grateful, so I can’t relate to the hesitation at all.

She definitely already knows. You don’t wear dark underwear under white trousers unless you’re really not arsed (pun intended) about it showing through. A pp suggestion of big white pants isn’t much better mind 😂 if you’ve a tricky relationship already, I don’t think passing comment on her underwear choice is a sensible path to go down

This!

edited to add- lots of bikini tops but (I assume) deliberately not properly pulled down so the bottom bit of boob shows.

If you think there’s a chance she really doesn’t know then mention it but otherwise if leave her to it.

Say something....light and fluffy tone of voice. Don't overthink it. Don't be all offended if she carries on or she herself gets offended.

I did the same to a acquaintance. It's was clearly that the fabric had gone thin rather than a choice.