Daughter wearing see through linen trousers.

[Fushia123]

Lovely, lovely DD 23. Works and lives in Germany, home for a few weeks summer holiday. She’s great - sociable, capable, good company etc. However she can be a bit sensitive about any personal comments and I haven’t made any for years.
She is slim and tall and wears white wide legged linen trousers from Cos that she bought 3 years ago. They are well past their best.
She wears lace thongs which are very visible - sometimes dark colours underneath. Wise Mumsnetters….. is it best to stay quiet and pass no comment, or worth the fallout by pointing it out? Don’t think she realises that other people could be looking at her - what would you do?

Your DD works abroad so time with her is even more precious, and you've said she is "sensitive about personal comments" Whether this is actually the case or she's not that sensitive but is defensive towards you from previous experience...SAY NOTHING. Maybe she knows and doesn't care, maybe she doesn't know. The potential repercussions of saying nothing are far lesser than the opposite if she is already sensitive to your comments.

Just say “hey, I can see your pants through your trousers”.

As long as it’s not said in a pursed-lips judgemental way she’ll either reply “oh shit thanks, I didn’t realise. Let me just change to some nude knickers” or, “yeah mum I know, it’s the look. You’re so old-fashioned”.

Isn't this the fashion. I think she knows very well. That's why she's in lacy pants not 5 year old grey cotton numbers.

I have a new red swimsuit. On holiday recently, as I emerged from the pool DH commented that it would probably be better if I kept it for sunbathing & changed into my black one for swimming as it once wet it had gone rather transparent.

I was grateful to him as I had no idea.

Definitely tell your daughter it's what friends/mums are for.

So many twee responses and faffing about, just say 'I can see your dark knickers in those trousers'. She's either doesn't know or doesn't care.

She would have already been told in this house. How she was told would have depended on who saw first. I would have been the most tactful.
"Just stand there for a minute dd... have you got lace knickers on? Think I can see them. "

Compared with
"Fucking hell dd, did you know you're showing your arse to the whole world?"

Or

"Why are you wearing see through trousers?"

I don't think it's even a personal comment really. Did you know you can see your underwear through the trousers? The answer will be either yes, in which case you can say fair enough just checking - or no, in which case you've helped her out.

If it were my dd I’d tell her, but she knows i am blunt about these things and wouldn’t be surprised. My DD’s wouldn’t want the world to see their knickers though I do know they aren’t things as they happily peg them out on my line when visiting, both favour comfort!

I'd tell her, she might not realise otherwise. I'd say, 'I love those trousers on you but you don't wear them to work do you because they're getting a bit thin and you can see your underwear through them.'

This is a good one.

I'd say it as you walk past - oooh - i can see your knick/nocks ! Did you know?

Although to be fair it's more likely for my DDs to be pulling me up for this sort of thing so she'd know it's not being said with any judgement 🤣

I'm not too bothered about people knowing i wear underwear. Bra straps visible in summer/glimpsing nice knickers through linen ect.

I think she knows. At that age probably doesn’t care. If it was my dd I would tell her.

Thongs under white trousers can lead to a vertical sweat line up the butt crack. I'd definitely tell her if that happened and point her in the direction of some really big flesh-coloured knickers. Otherwise, she probably knows they're a bit see through and isn't bothered, so in the interest of good relations, I'd keep quiet.

'oh, is it the trend now to wear coloured pants under white trousers. I was always told flesh coloured under white....'

This is a great idea. The only other suggestion I had (which might tie into this?) would be asking if she’d like a shopping trip out with you? Doesn’t have to be your treat OP (unless you want it to be), just a nice opportunity to spend some time together, maybe grab some lunch. You could suggest finding more linen trousers like the ones she loves so much.

If she’s so sensitive surely it’s better to tell her incase she doesn’t know rather than risk her being out and overhear someone else point it out? She will probably already know, most people have a look at the back view especially when wearing white

I’d tell her. You’re her mum, you’re allowed. She’ll either thank you or roll her eyes.

I'd tell her if you think she's unaware.

I'd just say oh honey I've just noticed that your trousers are see through in some lights. They'd probably be grand with nude underwear underneath though. It's probably just because they're so nice and lightweight for summer.

I'd be very surprised if she didn't know and to be honest I've seen much "worse" than that out and about. Years ago my mum told me my favourite (and very well worn) swimsuit was completely see- through when I emerged from the sea in Malta one holiday. I might as well have been stark naked. I wondered why so many men were leering at me. I was very grateful and obviously mortified.

This. My DM would say "those trousers look dreadful with those pants underneath" which is pointless and designed to offend.

It looks awful, but seems to be more of the norm than ever before-grim.

I've got a friend who helpfully tells me if she can see my bra under my clothes. Yes hun, I know, and I don't care (I am north of 50). The idea that your underwear should never be visible surely went out when Madonna released Like A Virgin?

I'm sure she's aware. There's a lot of linen trousers/dark thongs around this summer.

Leave well alone. If that's the way she wants to look leave her to it.

Really, it's not your problem, just hers.

Must be great to see her if she lives and works in Germany, I'd take a good selection of photos of her to capture her visit for posterity and ask her to select her favourites .......... That way she can see for herself!

As someone on their twenties who can be a little sensitive…

Id recommend taking a photo of her (a nice one of her walking from behind with nice setting behind) and send it to her. You wouldn’t be telling her but she will see in the photo and then if it bothers her it’s not come from you!

The other thing you mentioned is that the trousers are past their best and she’s had them years, might it be a nice thing for you to repurchase them and say something like ‘I know you’ve loved the last ones to death and I wanted to treat you’, that way you are doing something thoughtful and nice rather than criticising her.

Best of luck.