Sad about children growing up

[HiffHaffHuff]

Mine are only 8 and 10, I've been a single mum ( fled dv no contact via court order ) since my youngest was 8 months old, it's always just been us.

My eldest is going to be in year 6 when they go back and I'm just so sad about it. Time has gone so quickly? It's going to get to a point soon where neither will want to cuddle me all the time won't it 😭 their going to be out with their friends all the time, their going to have a part of their life that I'm not part of at all, one day they will move out and I won't get to see them everyday

And I know it's all normal and that's the way it's supposed to be. But it makes me so sad. I wish we could just stay as we are, I wish I didn't have to let them go

I have friends, hobbies, I volenteer with SEN children once a week, I have pets who love me..... like I'm prepared for when they do have to grow up I've got stuff to fill my time.... but at the same time it just makes me really really sad

My first baby did pass away shortly after he was born which I think has contributed to the way I feel and I am autistic/adhd so I know it all probably contributes..... yet I can still never get rid of this feeling deep inside me that one day all of this will be gone and I'll only have the memories

It's really affecting me lately I can't stop crying about it

Maybe DGC too one day.

I have 2 adult dc, 2 teens and 2 who are 10 and 8.

I actually just helped my 21yo move into his new flat today.

I do feel a bit wistful for days gone by and those cute little kid snuggles, but I'm absolutely in awe of how they have grown up.

Watching my older 4 dcs relationship with each other is amazing, they are always there for each other and supportive, they are all so close. Watching them as they go to uni, go to work, learn how to navigate the world is better than I ever imagined it could be.

They are still close to me, call all the time, and my older sons have also brought a wonderful girlfriend and boyfriend and a step grandchild into my life too, so there's even more people to love.

One of my favourite things to do is sit and listen to them all chat about their childhoods, all the daft stuff, and special stuff and magical stuff and funny stuff that I've done over the years.

It's the end if one era when they grow, but uts the start of another, which is just as exciting.

YANBU. I’ve loved every stage of DC growing up, and they get better and better as their personalities develop.

But I’d love to also be able to keep versions of them when they were little at 8 and 5, or a bit older, at 13 and 10.

That’s why the film About Time makes me cry every time I watch it.

I worried about this when my children were teenagers but I can honestly say that now 10 years later our relationships are brilliant. One lives in Oz and recently sent me a wonderful card with a Mummy and baby elephant and he said how much he loves me …I cried when I read it.
Daughter and other son are so much more demonstrative as well .
As a family we are all adults now and more equal in our appreciation and love for each other .m
OP it will be fine X

I'm feeling this at the moment. Ds1 is starting uni in 2 weeks. He has autism and there were times when i thought he would live at home forever. But he is off, taking his thomas the tank engine dvds and his guitar. My little one is off to secondary school next week too.

My married son still gives me massive hugs in his 30s. Just because they grow up doesn't mean you lose them.

I think you being NC with your parents probably means you don't know how close and loving you can still be with adult children even when they're married and don't live with you. After all they're adults an awful lot longer than they're children so it's very important to nurture that adult child to parent relationship.

My son and DIL have a great group of friends but I still see them most weekends, we do trips together, go out for meals or go to each others houses for meals just generally enjoy each others company. They value my advice on things to do with the house and garden and we talk about their careers and life plans. We WhatsApp most days. So it's not like they grow up and you never speak again.

Live life and enjoy them whatever age they are. Time moves on and it's unhelpful to be scared of the future and wishing your children were younger than they are. After all, your job as a parent is to help your children grow up to be happy, secure, successful, independent adults.

Hi OP, I feel the same too about my children aged 11 and 9. I love every stage and every few years it all changes and I grieve the previous stage for a while quietly. The one thing that makes me feel better is to know that I did my best to be in the moment at every stage. Although it still doesn't feel enough. Both can be true, you can enjoy each moment but still pine for the squishy baby days too.

Omg I’m the same and just done a post on this. I can’t stop looking back at videos and crying grieving like I know I can’t get them back that small again. Mine are nearly 9 and 12 and feels like yesterday they were at nursery and toddlers, it’s so hard to deal with, I’m seeking therapy as I know it’s going to get worst as they get older.