The sport of kings: Mornington Crescent

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Good morning, all. What better way to begin the long weekend than a new game of the ineffable Mornington Crescent? All are welcome - veterans and newbies alike.

To set the tone, I will start with one of my favourite moves - a double shunt to

Kew Gardens

One never hears much that is good about Edgware, Muse. I am sorry for your sufferings, but I don't doubt you're heard about how it went in the end between the Brigadier and the popsy, and I shouldn't blame you for feeling just a little vindicated.

Vegimal, that is certainly one way of putting it.

Harlesden, I think, using a Hartington's dissolve.

I hear that, following a series of fortunate marriages and unfortunate bereavements, some in unexplained and mysterious circumstances, that popsy is now a duchess and moving in the most elevated circles in England and abroad.

Chalfont and Latimer

Some do say that the Brig dodged a bullet (I always assumed metaphorically...)

Turnham Green

That assumption may be too optimistic, LittleBitofBread. It has long been rumoured that the Duchess of Popsy carries not Garibaldi biscuits but a pearl- handled pistol in the velveteen reticule which never leaves her side.

Embankment

Now I know you're pulling my leg, Maud; she would not be seen dead being called Duchess of Popsy!

I'll play a skittle to Leyton

Oh indeed, nobody calls her the Duchess of Popsy to her face, but in the early hours of morning, when much absinthe has been taken, and she and her seventh husband have retired, some players with long memories are likely to reminisce.

Angel

You shouldn't be playing a skittle at this point in the game, as it could cause a multitude of problems further down the line. I think I can avoid a half watson so I shall go to Rickmansworth

The joys of Metroland. I am sure the man who helped keep it on the map, the late poet laureate Sir John Betjeman, was a player of the game of games. I am not sure what nom de plume he used, there were suspicions he was the original Major so fondly spoken of.

Chorleywood.

Oh, I thought The Major was someone quite other? Didn’t Sir John B go under the guise of The Ticket Inspector, as a pointer to his association with, and love for, Metroland? I was sure I spotted him on a few occasions on the platforms of the Broad Street Line…

On that note, Bushey

No, a skittle at that juncture was perfectly OK if you recall the addendum following the Bridport meeting in 2018.

Rickmansworth did set off a whole chain of fascinating plays, though. I haven't tried this for a while, but I'm going to say Morden, with a backwards-spun Fidelio.

Phew! I feared I was being blamed for that skittle, although it seemed innocuous enough to me. But what do I know?

Turnpike Lane

Ah. I was hoping I'd be able to avoid using my Perpendicular, but now I can't see how…
Plaistow it is.

The east end of the District line, let's go on to Dagenham East.

In which case, it was to be a Dury Rhythmic to

Dagenham Heathway

Some very smart play here!
Crossharbour, with a Diminished Third.

I am finding it thrilling! Quite edge-of-seat stuff!

Can I?…yes! I believe Bread’s earlier perpendicular can conjunct with the dog-leg to great effect!

It’s Marylebone. Of course.

[flourish, bow, applause. Floral tributes rain into the stage. I exit, blushing prettily].

Unlike you to be so demure, TragicMuse, but no, I shall say no more.

Goodmayes

You know me so well Maud!

Covent Garden

With slight trepidation, but also an eye to the Harwich Manifesto:
Sudbury Town

Ah the manifesto, famed at the time but somewhat ignored by many since. Maybe mention of Harwich brings back memories for those who have nightmares about cross North Sea crossings, in ferries where some people look at you strangely when you mention the game of games.

Rayners Lane.

There have been many manifestos over the years but they have not, on the whole, served the game of games well. Marx and Engels’s contribution was particularly controversial.

Highgate

I've played some of the most enjoyable games of my life thus far on North Sea crossings.
Also had possibly more than my fair share of opponents hurling into a strategically placed bucket, but hey ho, them's the breaks when trying to get to the continent without facing the ever-more ludicrous shenanigans of the likes of Ryanair and their baggage policy.

Maud, that rumour that Marx and Engels were agents provocateurs sent in by not-altogether benign actors has never quite been put to bed. I'm not inclined to disagree considering what they had to say about the Piccadilly line and the Heinsfort Rule.

A simple Manifest Middle to Becontree

Never let hurling into a strategically placed bucket distract you from the game of games, LittleBit.

The moon is full and it’s a Friday night, so I believe the Central Line is wild.

Mile End

It must be said that hurling into a strategically-placed bucket has been a feature of some of the more raucous tournaments, where the cocktails are made with anything that comes to hand, up to and including grandma’s cough linctus and the cooking sherry.

I’m feeling inspired, and not to say a little frisky, so

Heathrow Terminal 4

Don't you mean 'bouquet'? The late Patricia Routledge I can imagine played the game of games from time to time.

Hounslow West.