Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Struggles to identify pointed end of chopsticks, sugar bowl lid with knob placed upside down

54 replies

limetrees32 · 22/08/2025 21:12

Not sure I can explain this but can't orientate things correctly.
Puts clothes on inside out and back to front.
Not me , it's partner.
Wondering what causes it , whether it's a syndrome of some kind.

OP posts:
Original poster
limetrees32 · 22/08/2025 22:00

Thank you all , you're very kind .

OP posts:
Original poster
limetrees32 · 22/08/2025 22:06

@GoldPoster that sounds very hard . Do you have strategies to help you cope ?
I've just googled the samosenistory cortex, it doesn't sound quite the same , no loss of sensation etc .
Or have I got the wrong end of the stick ?

OP posts:
Flonta · 22/08/2025 22:51

Oh, @limetrees32, you have much sympathy here. We’ve been through similar with mutiple family members.

The suggestion up thread to speak to the GP and ask them to get him in on a pretext is what I’d recommend. It’s exactly what we’ve had before and the right GP will do it.

The driving is trickier (I will resist getting on my soapbox for now). Is the car due maintenance any time soon? In desperate times with one relative, we resorted to speaking to the mechanic who was ‘able to find’ (ahem) reason to keep it in for ‘major work’. The GP also referred for an additional driving check but this was quite a number of years ago so I wouldn’t be sure of the process now. Obviously the nuclear option is ‘losing’ or hiding keys, but you know how that is likely to pan out.

TheBlackSheepbaaaa · 23/08/2025 00:00

This sounds like a family member just before she was diagnosed with alzheimers.
She lost her sense of direction and couldn't work out how to leave my house. She would get confused when making a drink ie couldn't work out whether to pour coffee into the milk or the other way around. Lots of other incidences of similar behaviour.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

healthybychristmas · 23/08/2025 02:03

Are his eyesight tests up-to-date?

Zempy · 23/08/2025 08:19

Mid seventies? I think you should have included that earlier.

Could it be dementia?

taxidriver · 23/08/2025 08:20

how is his walking? does he walk normally?

Millionsofmonkeys · 23/08/2025 08:23

If he's always been that way, very poor visual spatial processing.
If it's new, go to GP.

CharSiu · 23/08/2025 08:43

He shouldn’t be driving at all. Plus due to age it’s a very different circumstances to a young person. I would report him for the driving.

Ratafia · 23/08/2025 09:01

I hope you refuse to get in the car with him? It sounds very unsafe. Do you have any children or relatives who could help to persuade him to see a doctor?

It sounds a bit like primary progressive aphasia, which can be a feature of frontotemporal dementia. Does he recognise people?

echt · 23/08/2025 09:04

Zempy · 23/08/2025 08:19

Mid seventies? I think you should have included that earlier.

Could it be dementia?

You know what? Look at the OP's OP. It plainly had the look of a swiftly-written post, teaching to organise their ideas. They were struggling to express what they see.

Give them a fucking break.

Oh, and while I'm here, being 70 isn't an mandatory signal to label the post for the benefit of MNers.

echt · 23/08/2025 09:05

"teaching" searching more like.

CMOTDibbler · 23/08/2025 09:07

I think it does need assessment by a GP. From my perspective my mum had frontotemporal dementia which started with loss of language, but also perceptual problems due to the loss of visual processing. Its a younger onset dementia where memory problems come much later, and it can be hard to pin down especially as sufferers can work round it for a long time.

Original poster
limetrees32 · 23/08/2025 11:03

@echt thank you so much for leaping to my defence 😀.
I can see where Zempy is coming from but as you get older your perspective on what constitutes old does shift .Plus you start to be aware of the large range of health and cognitive skills that exist in older age groups .

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 23/08/2025 11:16

Hi, sorry to hear you are both going through this.

My first thought (I am really sorry) is that my dad, who is in his 90s living with severe dementia, has some of the same struggles. For example, trying to get dressed, he would put clothes on back to front, inside out etc. Maybe two jumpers, something like that.

However, these issues arose quite late in his dementia journey - short term memory was the first thing to go. Has your husband any memory issues?

I accept that your husband won't want to go to the doctor - my father refused for many many years - basically as long as he had meaningful autonomy. Which meant he had no medication or support outside the family - it makes it very difficult for those who care.

Please talk to your husband about the fact he continues to drive, too, if you can. I recognise he has autonomy and you can't actually stop him. My dad continued to drive beyond when it was safe for him to do so, in my opinion, and I remember having to change gear for him on his last cat journey (I don't even drive - luckily knew enough to help). We sold his car after that.

I really hope it's not dementia OP, and I may well be wrong, but I thought it worth mentioning, just in case you are able to persuade him to get it checked out.

taxidriver · 23/08/2025 11:18

how is his vision op?

Original poster
limetrees32 · 23/08/2025 11:19

His eyesight is ok ,regular checks .
I am a bit concerned by his gait but some of it is ,I think ,due to his penchant for buying shoes and slippers that are one size too big /ill fitting .I'm going to observe more closely .
@Millionsofmonkeys yes I think he has always had poor visual spatial processing .
You're all correct of course about the driving .
I know most accidents happen near home and the slightest deviation can be fatal for another person .
i suppose I've not noticed because I don't go in the car with him ,and he now only drives once a week to a local park .On single lane 20 mph road .
But we drove to the coast recently and this involved roads with three lanes .He doesn't wander back and forth through lanes ( he always has done this when walking) but when changing lane tend to drift rather than make a clear ,clean shift .
And when driving in one lane he doesn't maintain a central position so will be driving over cats eyes on one side and then the next minute driving over them on the other .
But yes the driving will have to stop .TBH I think we can just give up the car altogether ,we're in London with excellent transport links .

It's the language which is the thing that is different and therefore worrying .

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 23/08/2025 11:20

I have this.

in my case it is as a result of a neurological condition.

it can be worked on.

Original poster
limetrees32 · 23/08/2025 11:23

@Octavia64 could you say more ? Has it got a "name" ?
I think he's had these visual spatial problems for years but I also think something else is now going on .It would be useful to separate out the old difficulties from the new.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 23/08/2025 11:29

I don’t know if it’s got a name.

I have damage to the somatosensory cortex following a major accident. Brain and nerve damage can be very individual and people are sometimes able to “rewire” bit of the brain that are damaged due to either stroke or other damage.

my accident was 11 years ago. I lost right and left and also lost most nerve input and output from one leg.

I’ve spent a lot of time with specialist physios and on apps and I can mostly do left and right now although I need to go through about a 2 second thinking process to do so.

i also can’t mirror people’s actions very easily, and I also lost running, hopping and most other foot movements. I’ve re learnt walking.

usually with brain injury/neurologicsl problems they aim to describe the issue so it’s a descriptive diagnosis rather than anything else.

Octavia64 · 23/08/2025 11:32

sorry, double posting:

language: as my brain gets tireder I tend to lost language. I’ll start forgetting words and my speech visibly slows down. If I get really tired I lose speech altogether and I have some cards I keep to give people that explain this.

I would suggest a GP, it sounds like a brain issue and it would be worth looking at strokes or TIAs and also seeing a neurologist.

Thebigonesgetaway · 23/08/2025 11:33

This does sound like dementia op, likely Alzheimer’s, I’d make a private call to the doctors and explain, they can likely help you get him seen, he will need the help as will you. And the driving needs to stop immediately, the doctor can also help with this.

Radiowaawaa · 23/08/2025 11:37

I’m pretty sure that you can report health concerns to the DVLA. If they do revoke his license on health grounds he would have to visit his GP and provide proof to get it back.

taxidriver · 23/08/2025 11:43

a relative was diagnosed with parkinsons by a friend as he started to shuffle when he walked.
some things you wont be able to see op but i hope you can convince a GP trip

YouOughtToSeeADoctorAboutThat · 23/08/2025 11:48

OP, what you're describing about your husband would suggest a neurological disorder of some type - dementia or Parkinson's, I'd think. Please take the car keys away. He isn't fit to drive. You say he only goes to a local park, but it would only take a short drive for him to cause a crash or to hit a pedestrian.

I was a Health Care worker for many years