Cat-sitting drama!

[tabbycatcuddles]

Long story short - we have a usual cat sitter who had to cancel at a short notice this year due to unforeseen circumstances. We were going away for 16 days, and I got into a bit of a panic - so when I casually mentioned being desperate for a catsitter at a work meeting, I was happy when a colleague mentioned her daughter could maybe help.

We live quite centrally in London, and the daughter had been coming to London for job interviews, staying in hotels. She had found a job but was finding it hard to find a flat share without being in the city, so she was keen to come down earlier to get herself settled before her new job started.

I met her on zoom, she seemed fine so we agreed she'd stay here and look after our cat. She would be welcome to use the house as her own for the 16 days. Few days before we travelled, she asked how much I would pay her. I was a bit taken aback as we hadn't discussed money, and she suggested £50 a day! I said that wasn't doable, and I could really only do it for room and board, but I'd be sure to leave lots of food, few bottles of wine, some treats etc. She agreed. Cat is an outdoor cat so very little work overall.

holiday was great, cat seemed happy over whatsapp, but when we got home, the house was a mess. We'd left it spotless. There were sticky,set stains on tables and counters, toothpaste and soap globs in the sink, dirty dishes, ALL our towels used up and shoved in, damp, to the laundry basket, stinking. I wasn't expecting her to clean but I did expect her to tidy up after herself.

But she had also taken (or drunk!) a box of 6 bottles of wine. I had left her 3 in the fridge, and the 6 were for a dinner party later this month. They were boxed up and put in in the coat closet.

DH thinks just leave it, as the cat was happy and looked after, but I want my wine back! Forget about it or message her?

24 is a grown woman. Not an immature teen. Of course she should have known better.

Indeed! It was a mutually beneficial arrangement OP and so for that reason I don’t think the cat sitter needed to be paid. It was a barter arrangement. The cat sitter turned out to be an inconsiderate plonky. Lesson learned. You won’t get the cost of your wine reimbursed. I tried with Trusted House Sitters. I just couldn’t get away with it. People wanting to turn up hours later than arranged. We would have missed flights. People flaky about responding to messages or not responding at all. Got sick of it. I have used Homesitters it costs an arm and a leg but they are extremely professional. I am in a very far flung place now so I don’t think they will be able to cover us. My DH is happy he doesn’t like holidays anyway 😂.

I'm sorry to hear that about Trusted Housesitters. I'm on it as a sitter and I am definitely not flaky and I respond to messages! Mind you, I've only done sits within the UK so far, for various reasons including the fact that the idea of missing an international flight when someone's waiting for me to look after their pets really panics me.

In its defence, there are some dubious-sounding hosts as well, although of course I appreciate that you don't always get both sides of the story.

I’d be mad too. She sounds rude and disrespectful. She basically stole your wine.

I think what the OP has to ask herself is if the arrangement wasn’t of mutual benefit, that is , her colleagues daughter was available for cat sitting but not in need of accommodation in London, would she have paid her travel expenses and living expenses ( food etc). If not then I would say she was being a CF expecting cat care for nothing.
Personally, I would have no problem cat sitting for free for a friend, but not some random woman my mum works with. Particularly short notice and in an area I didn’t know particularly well.
I recently ask a work colleague if her daughter could dog sit over a weekend. Well I asked her 6 months ago so she had plenty of time to organise herself. My work colleague said she would prefer to do it, I don’t think she totally trusts her DDs boyfriend and didn’t want any repercussions. I paid her £150 which covered her fuel and food and her time. She lives 3 miles away. It was of mutual benefit because she had a bit of time out from busy family life. But there is no way I would let her do it for free although she did say she would.

I would agree that taking the wine was unacceptable but if you left with instructions to help herself then that’s on you. As for the rest of the mess, then maybe that’s on her parent. When my DS stays at friends’ 2nd homes he is on strict orders to clean up whether the rest of his friends do or don’t. When we had a 2nd home he knew the drill. It had to be left immaculate when they left.

@LittleBitofBread you sound lovely. I was maybe unlucky. We had holiday flights booked out of UK. The pet sitter knew this for ages before. They then suddenly tried to reschedule their arrival time at our house. We would have missed our flights. We went with paid sitters as they were happy to accommodate the time we needed to leave. It wasn’t the middle of the night or anything! As I say I am way up in a beautiful part of UK now but probably a bit far flung for pet sitters.

The point is the woman had nowhere to stay in London and it was a free place to stay whilst she sorted something out .

If someone is coming to stay to look after my cat I don’t pay them but leave food as you did. It’s only really the people who come in each day, feed your cat and then leave who get paid.

you were right not to pay her and her asking for £50 a day is fucking cheeky when all she has to do is feed a cat twice a day. The professional I get in to do it only charges £30 a day and doesn’t get to stay somewhere for free.

24 is old enough to know not to root around someone’s house looking for wine you haven’t been told you can drink.

i would be letting your colleague (her parent) know what a CF she was.

I don't get why the OP has to ask herself this. Her colleague's daughter WAS in need of accommodation in London. That's why it seemed like a good idea for both of them.

Wow, I wouldn't try to reschedule like that (extraordinary circumstances notwithstanding).
Some hosts ask you to arrive a day or two before, to get to know the pets, do a proper handover and (whether they say this explicitly or not) to make sure the sitter is safely there before they go, which I think is sensible. I've done that and am always happy to.

But she was willing to organise her own trip before her DM volunteered her. The OP makes out that she saved the day. She didn’t, she took advantage of a situation to solve her own problem. My DH has frequently volunteered me in the past to do favours for people and I hate it, I suspect the girls mum was party to the OPs rant about having her catsitter pull out short notice and saw a solution without checking with her DD.

Her DD may already have organised day trips to look for accommodation, it’s not difficult. DS organised viewing appointments for rented accommodation for uni while at home and then spent a day going round the houses they had listed. It doesn’t take 16 days. Everything is online now and even if you want to meet and be interviewed by potential housemates there’s this thing called teams or FaceTime.

The OP is coming across as a bit of a saint, when in actual fact she just took advantage without considering whether the girl actually wanted to cat sit for 16days. Not everyone would be jumping up and down with glee about 16days on their own in London. Maybe 16 days in a coastal resort considering the weather recently but not London at the height of summer.

I agree - but it does make a bit of a difference to the story. I previously wrote that 9 bottles of wine was quite a small price to pay, but I was thinking that would amount to about £60. I'd perhaps have changed my comment if I'd known it cost £180.

I pay £20 a day for two cats one of which has a medical problem.
£50!!! Haha, she's got a bloody nerve.

Mine too!!

I suspect being “volunteered “by her DM was not well received. Regardless of how much it helped her out. Leaving a mess would ensure she wasn’t asked to do it again.

Of course she shouldn’t have taken the wine but what makes you think you can use her cat sitting services for free? We have a family member move in and pay him £35 per day. Why would he do it for nothing?

Bad behaviour on both sides.

I’d be more annoyed about the mess and why she felt the need to hunt around in the back of cupboards, looking in unmarked boxes, than the actual drinking of the wine.

From the sounds of things, you didn’t need a live in cat sitter. That bit was a favour to thank her for the actual feeding of your cat. Having someone call in and feed my cats is around £15 per day (around £100 per week).

I wouldn’t go out of my way to say anything but if it comes up or her mum asks I would say that you weren’t expecting your house to be left in such a state or realise she had a drinking problem when you left alcohol in the house (or alternatively had friends round for a party).

Yes professional cat sitters probably do charge around £50 per day but I bet they also have experience, insurance, don’t cost you hundreds in drunk wine or cleaning costs, and you have come back if you aren’t satisfied. She couldn’t have expected to receive that amount.

Took advantage in what way??

Give over, 'took advantage'!

The OP says, 'When I spoke to the girl the arrangement was very much done on mutually beneficial basis and she was thrilled at getting a place.'

and

'She had found a job but was finding it hard to find a flat share without being in the city, so she was keen to come down earlier to get herself settled before her new job started.' and needed to be in the city to look properly for a flatshare. She wasn't dreaming of a summer break in a coastal resort , she was wanting and needing to locate herself in London.

Christ, I'm sitting for the wrong people, clearly! Or you've got money to burn.

Me too! I’m also surprised at the number of people who think the cat sitter should have been paid ( surely free run of a house in London for 2 weeks is a huge financial saving, plus someone is trusting you with their house and belongings) and that not doing washing and searching out a box of wine from a cupboard was all perfectly ok. I guess I’m out of touch too, but to me this is terrible behaviour. Also, 24 isn’t exactly too young to know better!

I don't think it's that way unusual to get someone to look after a cat in exchange for free accommodation if you live in a touristy area (in fact you might even be able to charge them as an air B&B - my neighbours have!). In any case, if she wasn't happy with the deal she should've said so - not drunk loads of wine that clearly wasn't meant for her and left the house a tip. I would chalk it up to experience though OP.

Looking in cupboards and opening boxes - let alone drinking someone's wine - is beyond the pale.I would not be impressed.

When I was in my early 20s I had the opportunity on many occasions to "terrapin sit" for a work colleague, as well as watering plants etc. No money changed hands and I was grateful for the opportunity to get away from my parents house for a few days. It gave me a chance to see how I would like living alone and I loved it. Terrapins are easy to look after and you dont have to take them for walks or play with them.

She always left the fridge fully stocked and I made sure she had the basics to come back to. Of course I cleaned the kitchen surfaces and hoovered if I stayed longer than a weekend. I never forgot that someone else had trusted me in their home. I am the kind of person who is always tidy in hotels even though there is someone else to clear up after me.

I read it as they were doing each other a favour, the girl needed a roof over her head, and the cat needed looking after
so surely no money was involved.
then of top of a free roof over her head, the girl got left food and wine

then stole drank a crate of 6 bottles of wine on top of what she was left !

I am sorry I am unable to do Christmas as my own cat sitter dd will be away herself, and you do not want me turning up with 5 cats and 4 dogs :)

p.s. were you able to offer parking too :)