Cat-sitting drama!

[tabbycatcuddles]

Long story short - we have a usual cat sitter who had to cancel at a short notice this year due to unforeseen circumstances. We were going away for 16 days, and I got into a bit of a panic - so when I casually mentioned being desperate for a catsitter at a work meeting, I was happy when a colleague mentioned her daughter could maybe help.

We live quite centrally in London, and the daughter had been coming to London for job interviews, staying in hotels. She had found a job but was finding it hard to find a flat share without being in the city, so she was keen to come down earlier to get herself settled before her new job started.

I met her on zoom, she seemed fine so we agreed she'd stay here and look after our cat. She would be welcome to use the house as her own for the 16 days. Few days before we travelled, she asked how much I would pay her. I was a bit taken aback as we hadn't discussed money, and she suggested £50 a day! I said that wasn't doable, and I could really only do it for room and board, but I'd be sure to leave lots of food, few bottles of wine, some treats etc. She agreed. Cat is an outdoor cat so very little work overall.

holiday was great, cat seemed happy over whatsapp, but when we got home, the house was a mess. We'd left it spotless. There were sticky,set stains on tables and counters, toothpaste and soap globs in the sink, dirty dishes, ALL our towels used up and shoved in, damp, to the laundry basket, stinking. I wasn't expecting her to clean but I did expect her to tidy up after herself.

But she had also taken (or drunk!) a box of 6 bottles of wine. I had left her 3 in the fridge, and the 6 were for a dinner party later this month. They were boxed up and put in in the coat closet.

DH thinks just leave it, as the cat was happy and looked after, but I want my wine back! Forget about it or message her?

I wouldn't do anything. But would give honest feedback to your colleague about her leaving the place in a tip if they asked.

A live in cat sitter would have been £400 to £800. I know that’s not your usual arrangement but that fell through. Of course her staying in a hotel would have cost her more, but you needed someone to feed your cat/ litter tray whatever.

The dirty washing notwithstanding, you should have left either more cheap wine, or at least £20 a day. It’s astonishing you didn’t. Albeit she’d have had to find alternative diggs. You needed your cat kept alive.

I know she needed to be in the area, but I bet she wouldn't have stayed for 16 days otherwise! And a hotel would have had housekeeping!

@tabbycatcuddles You’re not wrong OP. A free house in central London for two weeks doing some catsitting for an outdoor cat who’s no trouble is very generous! It was cheeky to open a clearly closed box (though I probably wouldn’t ask for it back, just chalk it up to less than a cattery cost).

But most of all it was extremely rude and disrespectful to leave your home in a mess. I have never stayed in anyone’s house and left a mess for them to come back to, and I used to do lots of housesitting and catsitting when I was about 24 and a grad student (eg. catsitting for my professors, or housesitting for friends or relatives. I was thrilled when I got to cat-sit in London! I never got paid per day as such, but they always left some wine and food for me or some spending money as a thank you). It was a pleasure to get the opportunity to stay in someone’s house looking after a lovely cat when I was a student! I’d always leave it spotless and something like a plant, a card and some milk and bread for them to come back to!

At 24 leaving dirty towels and plates and not cleaning is disgusting. I’d mention to your colleague that you were a bit disappointed that her daughter left the house in a mess for you to come back to and clear up, because honestly that is grim. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t let her stay again!

Sounds like crossed wires. From the outset she thought you were paying and you didn’t. She accepted the offer of being able to use your house as her own as a compromise but it wasn’t what she had expected so she helped herself to the perks.

I would be furious to find the house in a state, so disrespectful, but remember she thought she’d be paid so she might have been feeling that she wasn’t going to do any unpaid housework (even if she caused the mess).

Come on, it’s totally normal to stay in someone’s house for free and cat-sit, especially if they live in a tourist destination or have a nice house. I used to do it loads in my 20s and not expect to be paid beyond some wine or a token amount as a thank-you. I still do it now for friends and I don’t expect to be paid! The colleague’s daughter’s expectations were out of whack if at 24 she expected to be paid for some basic catsitting. (For one thing, if you pay commercial pet sitter rates you expect someone with a business, DBS, experience, insurance etc., all things that the girl didn’t have; and you are paying for the pet to be their main focus, so eg. play and entertainment for indoor pets, dog walking, etc., not going round London, settling in to a new job and drinking wine.)

Cleaning up after yourself is just basic courtesy. Of course it’s not like staying in a hotel. It was just rude and lazy.

I think times have changed a lot. Cat sitters are very expensive these days. You can’t expect a 24 year old to know what it was like for you 20 years ago.

I imagine that her mum asked her if she fancied a cat sitting job, and she agreed, expecting to be paid the going rate. Clearly she’s upset about not being paid, so has decided to help herself to the wine. I’m not condoning her behaviour, but you can see why this has happened.

Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t pay her. I work as a cat sitter and although you were also doing her a favour, you’d expect to pay a regular, professional cat sitter (not your friend who does it for free) at least £30 a day/night to stay at your house for over two weeks. I’d have at least offered her some cash.

Obviously no excuse for the state she left your home in though.

I agree that she shouldn’t expect to be paid the same as a professional cat sitter, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to be paid. She’s not OPs friend, she is a stranger. This is purely a business arrangement.

Without meaning to be rude, things have changed a lot in recent years. Pet care is much more expensive than it used to be.

Fantastic! Made the dog jump when I laughed!

@MidnightMeltdownpay? The deal is free housing and all the girl had to do was feed a cat and change the litter box. This is so common there’s a company that facilitates it: Trustedhousesitters.com. For an annual fee (about £150) you list your home and pets and choose a sitter. NO money changes hands. The first woman I used was Columbian and had a pet sitting job in France before me. Then I had a couple from up north who wanted to visit London. Worked out great and I saved £000s (I had two dogs and two cats).
Anyway this girl is not a professional and was doing it for the use of the property - a fair exchange. That she left the place in a mess is unbelievable and I’d be saying something to her. Forget the wine though - unless you said ‘please don’t drink this’ you left yourself open to get helping herself when you said you’d leave some.

I’m afraid that not being paid professional petsitter rates certainly isn’t an expectation if you’re not actually a professional pet sitter! Free accommodation plus some wine and a thank you gift is still totally normal today. Where on earth do you get the idea it isn’t? There are plenty of adults that do
this for free holiday accommodation and don’t get paid. We do it for friends and colleagues of ours quite frequently too - did it last year and didn’t get paid, wouldn’t have remotely expected it, though my friend left us some wine, and her nice house is in a tourist area so we had a good time, fed her cat and guinea pigs and saw the local area, all good! Every time she goes on holiday my friend puts out a message on Facebook asking her friends if anyone wants to do it and she has loads of offers!

This girl isn’t a professional pet sitter or house sitter: she doesn’t have business costs and she wouldn’t be paying tax/paying for a DBS/business insurance etc. which professional pet sitters do, and that’s usually for dogs which need walking, high maintenance pets, etc. (We get a pet sitter for our cat because she’s an indoor cat who has medication several times a day and needs attention throughout the day, cat litter changing etc.). For a low maintenance cat that’s not needed.

It was wildly OTT for her to expect to be paid a market rate as well as have nice free accommodation in central London. I bet the OP knows lots of people who wouldn’t say no to housesitting in central London for free!

If you want a stranger to come to your house twice a day and feed your cat, you're expected to pay.

If you want a house sitter to stay in your house and feed your cat, you're expected to pay.

You're lucky, your cat was happy because he didn't have to go to a cattery and could stay in his house and all you had to do was provide some wine.

You're annoyed because she actually benefitted from the house sitting scenario, so you feel you should not have provided any remuneration or wine. You wanted to exploit a young person. Shame on you.

The existence of that website doesn’t make it the norm not to pay someone! There are also many websites, like cat in a flat, where people offer cat sitting (including overnight stays) in return for payment. This girl clearly expected to be paid, which is why she suggested a rate £50 a day. Offering nothing is cheeky, especially when you expect your house to be left immaculate.

She massively took the piss. She wasn’t a house sitter. She wanted a place to stay in London, and her mum found her a free house for 2 weeks via a work colleague. She basically had 2 weeks free accommodation in a city she was needing to be in anyway, in exchange looking after an outdoor cat! She saved herself hundreds by having free lodging, and then royally took the piss by drinking OP’s wine and leaving a mess. I’d tell her mum that I wasn’t happy, and I’d want payment for the significant amount of wine she guzzled. She was drinking more than double the safe limit for women.

@MidnightMeltdown but she wanted to be in London, and was having to pay hotel costs. OP did her a favour.

As I already said, I don’t think that she should necessarily expect to be paid professional rates, but she should expect to be paid! Of course it’s normal to pay for cat sitters! There are literally dozens of websites where people can offer cat sitting services in exchange for payment, and you don’t need qualifications and insurance either.

Shes not OPs friend doing her a special favour, she doesn’t even know OP. Why would you provide wine and a thank you gift? Why not just pay her for the service and let her buy what she wants? It’s not just putting food down either, it’s a responsibility. She has to be home every evening, if anything happens she’d have to take it to the vet etc.

But staying at someone’s house isn’t the equivalent of staying in a hotel. OP isn’t doing her a favour. She’s wanting free labour and for the house to left immaculate as if nobody had stayed there.

I would be tempted to send her a message with the receipt for the wine and your account details asking for payment. Mainly to make it clear that it’s not okay. While I understand the comments suggesting talking to her mum, I would be reluctant to try and leverage a work relationship like this, though I would be honest if the mum asked about it. The woman is an adult, deal with her but don’t expect too much and chalk it up to experience.

That’s not what OP has said she expected at all.

And the two of them agreed to the arrangement before the woman came to stay. She wasn’t forced or coerced into it. If it hadn’t been a deal for her on the terms OP set, she could easily have said “no, not without being paid”. OP was the one who was vulnerable to being strong armed in this situation.

Doesn't your dog have WhatsApp? 🤣

There is also lots of websites where people do it for free to stay in a nice location
It’s actually really common to pet sit in exchange for accommodation

Shes not OPs friend doing her a special favour, she doesn’t even know OP. Why would you provide wine and a thank you gift? Why not just pay her for the service and let her buy what she wants? It’s not just putting food down either, it’s a responsibility. She has to be home every evening, if anything happens she’d have to take it to the vet etc.

I sort of agree with this. Op has benefitted from a mutual friend for free years in the past, but this seems a completely different arrangement and should have been dealt with as such e.g a nominal payment for service. However, house being left grubby isn't good but I would consider a choice to make an issue or chalk it up to experience: particularly (if I wanted her to be my cost effective back up plan if I have to go away and my friend wasn't available to cover). Getting her for "free for bed and board" is very rare. You have only spent or are "down" £200- 240 for 16 nights wine plus a bit more. I personally do not like to have my pets in catteries or kennels (but understand that sometimes there is a need), but to have the animals cared for in their own home is for my own convenience. She shouldn't have snaffled the wine, you should have paid her a reduced fee to sit.

I was thinking the same. It seems like loads to me!!

£20 a bottle! I think I'm on a different planet.