Sent bereavement flowers but not had an acknowledgement?

[Lollylolo]

Close friend's partner's parent died recently. I am not close to their partner although they've been together about 15 years, but have been supporting my friend, meeting for walks and chats etc, to help her whilst she supported her partner and family.

She let me know on the day the parent passed and I offered condolences etc. I've been away so not been able to meet up, but I did send some flowers which should have arrived yesterday.

I've not had an acknowledgement yet. Their house is hard to find and I'm paranoid that the flowers might have either not been delivered, or left on the doorstep and taken, or left at the wrong house. Friend has not replied to my message of a week ago asking how they all are, so I don't know what's happening, when the funeral is etc and don't want to message at a bad time.

How long would you leave it before messaging to ask if they got the flowers? I don't want it to seem like I'm looking for thanks (which I am of course not), but I do want to know they got them. Would you call the florist first and confirm they had been delivered and handed over to an actual person at the address before messaging? Just not sure what to do at this delicate time

If she knows you’re on holiday she perhaps doesn’t want to ‘spoil’ it with talk of bereavement.

Just check with the florist. The recipients are, well, grieving.

They delivered to a person

I would not expect an acknowledgment. It’s a gesture that’s about them, not you. Confirm delivery with florist. I suspect they are at the struggling to eat and get dressed stage of grief, not the writing thank you messages one.

I only send flowers after bereavement in a water container (can't remember the proper name!), so that the recipient can simply plonk them on the side or pass them on.

I am sure your friend received the flowers and will contact you soon. My Dad has just died and I'm upset neither of my friends have sent a card or flowers - when their Dad's died I sent them both.

Why does it matter?

I think they have other things on their mind right now.

this....I know people mean such things kindly.......

Sending flowers is a lovely thought and will very likely be well received.

I know I was grateful when my parent suddenly died. We had a lot and they were signs of love and care.

People are always unusually snarky on MN, I rarely find it to be representative of the real world and often people enjoy an excuse to be especially unpleasant to an OP to vent their own spleen about something, so I’d take it all with a bucketload of salt.

I’m sure your friend, who knows you, will have received the flowers as meant.

Sorry, I really disagree. In the real world, most bereaved people I know did not like getting flowers, even if kindly meant! One person just binned them all immediately - but did keep any cards.

How rude and ungrateful!

You don’t get acknowledged for sending a bereaved persona message of support. The point of it is not to create more work for them.

OP you did do a nice thing and I think those berating you for sending flowers were unnecessarily harsh however I do also agree with the poster who said to send the flowers in a vase. When we lost our daughter we received so many flowers and of course we appreciated it but we did run out of vases! So I would also recommend sending flowers in a vase or pot.

I think the reason for the tone of some of the messages is due to your main question being about lack of acknowledgement when of course you shouldn't message them to ask and it would have been common sense to ask the florist first. I recently sent flowers to a bereaved cousin and I received confirmation of when they'd been received along with a photo.

Flowers after a bereavement is just so personal. When my sister died I did of course like that people cared enough to send flowers but of course the flowers then died which felt like an extra layer of sadness.

Some people love to receive flowers, others don’t.