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Creepy male behaviour growing up

62 replies

Elfandfairy · 19/08/2025 10:52

Just thinking back to how many creepy men I encountered growing up and wondering if this was a typical experience.

  • driving instructor who tried to make me park up in an abandoned industrial estate and 'go for a walk'
  • friend's dad (while I was 10) ogling me and making comments about my legs
  • boss in a smart hotel asking me about my bra
  • Postman calling his mate over to the desk to 'check out the tits on this' at 15.

Did this happen to us all growing up? I never told my mum or anything about this sort of thing, just swallowed it and felt vaguely ashamed/ violated.

OP posts:
HeidiWhole · 20/08/2025 08:33

I’m in my mid-50s and sleazy men seemed to be everywhere when I was a teenager; in the family, at work, teachers at school , driving instructors….the list was endless.
I have a daughter in her late teens who has never experienced the casual yet overt leering or groping (yet)
I'm not sure men have changed they just know they can’t get away with it quite as easily

Disturbia81 · 20/08/2025 12:01

GiddyDog · 20/08/2025 08:22

@Disturbia81 thank you for being so empathetic, sadly I'm not really a poor thing just a very average middle aged woman, most of us probably have similar and some a hell of a lot worse stories to tell.

It’s true but your recounting just felt even scarier for some reason, the way they spoke to you. Reminded me of serial killer personalities. It’s awful that we have to go through this from such a young age.
I’ve just remember my friend was in a taxi and the guy was looking at her in the rearview while wanking. FFS
Just yesterday I was in the bus station in my gym wear, mid 40s and a group of Eastern Europeans in their 20s/30s were just staring intently, no talking amongst them, no smiling, just creepy predator staring for a few minutes. It never ends, why can’t we just go about our day without feeling unsafe, without feeling watched?

Ataloss44 · 20/08/2025 12:10

Regularly groped in school in the music cupboard by groups of boys 😩teacher (male) did nothing at all to stop it 🙄. Had a boy grab my boobs in front of the whole class. On way home from school neighbours wife stoped me and had a right go saying stay away from my husband I was 14/15 he was in his forties 😩. That’s the tip of ice berg

zingally · 20/08/2025 12:20

Aged 12 in a English lesson in the mid 90s, I wrote a poem about a lost cat. In this poem I used the line, "I wonder where my pussy is?" Completely innocently. I was a sheltered 12yo in pre-internet times.
I took my work to my male teacher to be read. Then he asked me if I'd ever seen the tv show "Are You Being Served?" I'd never heard of it, shrugged and said no, and the conversation moved on.
It was only as an adult that I became aware of one of that show's poor jokes was people mis-understanding the use of the word "pussy" and making innuendoes.

ERGHHHH!
The thing is, 12yo me remembered that exchange with my teacher and how it felt weird and out of place. Some part of 12yo me knew it was wrong. And it was only when I was about 30 I realised just how gross it was.

Another time, I don't remember exactly how old I was, somewhere between 9 and 11, I got a pair of roller blades.
I was still getting used to them, and was out in them on a stretch of path about 30 seconds from my front door, but out of view. I happened to be wearing a skirt that day, and at one point I bent over to adjust the strap on one of them.
While I was bent over fiddling, this older man came up from behind me, and said something like, "oh, that looks fun" and then walked off. But something about the way he said it made me uncomfortable. Then I realised I'd been totally flashing my knickers. I hadn't just been bent over for a few seconds, but maybe half a minute or more, so he'd got an eyeful of practically my entire backside.
It wasn't so much what he said, and it may have been entirely innocent, but it gave me he heebiejeebies.

I never reported either of these events, just shrugged. But looking back at the first one, especially now I'm a teacher myself, it was just so wildly inappropriate, it would never pass nowadays.

neilyoungismyhero · 20/08/2025 14:42

AutumnLover1989 · 19/08/2025 19:12

Another thing I've kind of put to the back of my mind. The op mentioned a GP. I can't remember the reason,but the old Dr asked me to take my top off. He looked. Never touched me and I wondered why all these years later I was asked to do this. I just did what the Dr said because I grew up respecting my elders 😞

Same

AutumnLover1989 · 20/08/2025 15:08

neilyoungismyhero · 20/08/2025 14:42

Same

😔 I've been wracking my brain as to what could have been the reason for this. Was it something sinister or could it have been down to me being on the pill for my heavy periods possibly? Do drs look at your breasts when you're on the pill?

Chickenhorse · 28/10/2025 22:42

My DR had to feel my breasts for lumps when I was 15 I was on the pill for really bad acne, every three months I had to go to him for a new prescription. He also told me I had to have internal exams regularly. I was a very naive 15 year old.

Pieceofpurplesky · 28/10/2025 22:53

Headteacher who used to do special spellings and touch our knees.
PE teacher who used to run her finger down our naked spines to check we had showered and if dry would watch us shower.

tellmesomethingtrue · 28/10/2025 23:01

Chickenhorse · 28/10/2025 22:42

My DR had to feel my breasts for lumps when I was 15 I was on the pill for really bad acne, every three months I had to go to him for a new prescription. He also told me I had to have internal exams regularly. I was a very naive 15 year old.

I’m so sorry you experienced this. Do you know if he’s still practising as this is just awful. 🌷

tellmesomethingtrue · 28/10/2025 23:06

zingally · 20/08/2025 12:20

Aged 12 in a English lesson in the mid 90s, I wrote a poem about a lost cat. In this poem I used the line, "I wonder where my pussy is?" Completely innocently. I was a sheltered 12yo in pre-internet times.
I took my work to my male teacher to be read. Then he asked me if I'd ever seen the tv show "Are You Being Served?" I'd never heard of it, shrugged and said no, and the conversation moved on.
It was only as an adult that I became aware of one of that show's poor jokes was people mis-understanding the use of the word "pussy" and making innuendoes.

ERGHHHH!
The thing is, 12yo me remembered that exchange with my teacher and how it felt weird and out of place. Some part of 12yo me knew it was wrong. And it was only when I was about 30 I realised just how gross it was.

Another time, I don't remember exactly how old I was, somewhere between 9 and 11, I got a pair of roller blades.
I was still getting used to them, and was out in them on a stretch of path about 30 seconds from my front door, but out of view. I happened to be wearing a skirt that day, and at one point I bent over to adjust the strap on one of them.
While I was bent over fiddling, this older man came up from behind me, and said something like, "oh, that looks fun" and then walked off. But something about the way he said it made me uncomfortable. Then I realised I'd been totally flashing my knickers. I hadn't just been bent over for a few seconds, but maybe half a minute or more, so he'd got an eyeful of practically my entire backside.
It wasn't so much what he said, and it may have been entirely innocent, but it gave me he heebiejeebies.

I never reported either of these events, just shrugged. But looking back at the first one, especially now I'm a teacher myself, it was just so wildly inappropriate, it would never pass nowadays.

I had to reread our post as the exact same thing happened to my friend in class. We were year 9 in the 90s. He then started asking if she was going home to stroke her pussy. I knew it was ‘wrong’ but I didn’t know why until I became an adult. He was a creep who also used to shut us on the cupboard room whilst he stood with us in front of the door whilst telling us off.

Timeforabitofpeace · 29/10/2025 02:49

Friends dad and driving instructor, yes. Driving instructor’s haven’t changed, either. I’ve heard plenty of my dd and her friends over the years, and from my niece.

zingally · 01/11/2025 11:44

tellmesomethingtrue · 28/10/2025 23:06

I had to reread our post as the exact same thing happened to my friend in class. We were year 9 in the 90s. He then started asking if she was going home to stroke her pussy. I knew it was ‘wrong’ but I didn’t know why until I became an adult. He was a creep who also used to shut us on the cupboard room whilst he stood with us in front of the door whilst telling us off.

Did you go to school in Northamptonshire?

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