Creepy male behaviour growing up

[Elfandfairy]

Just thinking back to how many creepy men I encountered growing up and wondering if this was a typical experience.

• driving instructor who tried to make me park up in an abandoned industrial estate and 'go for a walk'
• friend's dad (while I was 10) ogling me and making comments about my legs
• boss in a smart hotel asking me about my bra
• Postman calling his mate over to the desk to 'check out the tits on this' at 15.

Did this happen to us all growing up? I never told my mum or anything about this sort of thing, just swallowed it and felt vaguely ashamed/ violated.

Yeah I got a lot it was constant and started at about 11 from men old enough to be my grandad. And it ranged from the odd wolf whistle to whipping out the penis and stalking at night. Men are wired differently. My dad said when he was a kid he was groped by a few older men. I think it's male sexual drive is turned up to 100. I will say though a few boys at high school were in sexual relationships with adult women. There was a dysfunctional mum of a girl in my year who slept with multiple boy :/ different time...? I hope

Hitching a lift to town one time when I was 18 , neighbour picked me up , same age as my dad , telling me how lovely my legs are & “ you know it’s the married men who never say anything “ 🤮

My aunts husband, my dads sisters husband ,always passing comments on my appearance & telling me how attractive I am when I was 15 & on holiday there for 2 weeks one summer with my grandmother , never when anyone could hear, he didn’t touch me but it made me feel very uncomfortable..
It’s disgusting, grown men to teenagers…

Waiting for a bus home from a nightclub one time , I was around 17 with my friend , 2 guys came onto us , we had zero interest, they seemed to have disappeared , then all of a sudden we were pulled off of wall we were sitting on from behind , they shoved their hands up our top , held onto our boobs & pulled us off of wall & ran of skitting laughing ..

A boss I had one time , complete creep always walking behind me really slowly, pretending to be looking at my work , so he’d stop behind me , but pressing into me from behind , sick fuck, didn’t stay there too long though ..

I think all women have these stories ..
A lot of what went on then though , thankfully wouldn’t be accepted now …

I really hope it’s true that it wouldn’t be accepted now but I wonder if it’s just evolved into different behaviours sadly

Yep my driving instructor felt up my leg. Ugh. I changed instructor after that to a woman. But your list of happenings is very similar to what I and many (most?) other girls and women have experienced. This kind of casual sexual harassment is one rare thing that has got better in society over the years.

@DrNo007 I quit my lessons after my incident and tried again eighteen months later with a female instructor. Lost all trust in being trapped in a car with a man after that lesson.

I have teenage daughters & we get on very well , chat about everything..
If they were getting this out & about & while living their lives , I’m pretty confident they would tell me …
I’m not saying creepy shit doesn’t go on , but it was accepted a lot more ..
Like the story of my old boss , there isn’t many who would risk their business to be brought up by their employee now on sexual harassment allegations..
Young women speak out now , we didn’t back then ..

@Missj25 that’s really reassuring to hear.

So many. Driving instructor putting his hand over mine on the steering wheel. On another lesson told me if I was going to a fancy dress party to go as a school girl. A bloke walking towards me in a shopping centre grabbed my crotch as I passed him. Another time getting drunk and the bloke me and my friend had been chatting to came into the loos while I was being sick in the sink (I was 18) standing behind me and putting his hands down the front of my knickers. Yuk. Man who came to fix my boiler brushed my breast whilst pretending to talk to my baby son WHO I WAS HOLDING AT THE TIME. After he left he then returned with another chap so he could “have a look” at me. I’m in my 60s now but I’ve never forgotten any of it.

Constantly from age 12ish, and no sign of it stopping in mid 40s. Still creepy men whispering things as they walk past, being followed, men shouting out of vans. Insidious stares feeling like a prey item. My mum got stuff until her mid 70s when she died, best friends of my dad barging their way into her home and kissing her etc

It never ends.

I grew up in the 80s and 90s (turned 18 in 1998) and yes, lots of experiences of being perved at/harassed while (very obviously) under age.

Yes another pervy driving instructor here ( me 17 him mid 40s) who thought it was appropriate to for us to drive to a lovers lane, I refused to stop the car and never used him again.

At 16 creepy deputy head stopped his car and offered me a lift no thanks!

12/13 creepy teacher used to feel girls bra straps as ‘guided’ them into class.

We also had a married neighbour who you used to watch me like a hawk when I was in the garden when I was a little girl. Then one day I noticed he was taking photographs, I just felt very uncomfortable but didn’t understand why. I never sat out in the back garden on my own after that. I was 8. He was supposed to be a ‘ nice man’ so didn’t know what to say to parents.

He had 2 daughters and one of them left home at 18 and never came back, his other daughter never brought his grandchildren round to visit.

Alarming number of creepy driving instructors!

I think a lot of them used to get into that job so they could be alone in a dominant position with a teenager. Same as I used to wonder why so many paedos in schools and church, until it clicked they chose those jobs for a reason.

Age 11 my 80 year old neighbour who was housebound (my mum even did the old bastards shopping for him) would stand at his window and wave when I was going to and from school. One day he hobbled out of his house in order to berate me for wearing trousers to school (it was winter) because he 'preferred my arse in skirts', in retrospect I'm fairly sure he was masturbating when he'd stand at the window.

Many many occasions of being groped or catcalled when working on retail and pubs.

As a young student nurse bending down to help an elderly man get his slippers on and having him forcefully grab my head and try to direct it to his crotch saying 'while you're down there you can deal with that'

The one that really sticks in my head is getting a taxi home from my boyfriends house when I was about 19. He lived quite rural and had to go to a funeral that morning so I was going home alone. The taxi driver asked why I was heading back so early so I told him, he stopped the car- on an isolated country road- leered at me in the mirror and said 'if I had you in my bed I'd be tying you to it and keeping you there not going to any fucking funerals'. It flashed through my head that my BF would be out of contact for hours as he was busy, my flatmates would think I was at BF house and my mum would think I was at my flat so I was completely at this creep's mercy and no one would miss me for a long time if he decided to harm me. Thankfully he just sat for a few more moments then moved on but it was fucking terrifying.
Especially since Iain Packer who drove taxis was later convicted of the murder of Emma Caldwell around the same time period and not a million miles away geographically from my incident.

@GiddyDog that’s terrifying

Sadly some of this is horribly familiar. It started when I was around 11/12, wearing school uniform, with middle aged men leaning out of cars or vans, shouting things like 'nice tits!' I complained to my parents and my Dad genuinely suggested I should take it as a compliment! My Mum agreed it was gross, but in a 'but what can you do?' type of way.

Aged 18-21 when working in shops, restaurants and pubs it was common for men (often older, but not exclusively) to make sexual remarks to me. They were sometimes in the company of other men and typically they'd all laugh. On only one occasion did anyone ever object on my behalf. I was silently thankful.

After university, I started work in office roles and casual sexism was rife. There were frequent conversations about the bodies of women in the office, suggestions that they go to a lapdancing bar after work on a Friday, laughing between themselves about staying late at work so that by the time they got home, their children would be in bed.

I must admit that the cumulative effect of all this made me struggle to trust most men, even the 'nice' ones. I'm over 50 now and I'd love to think things have improved, but I'm doubtful.

Oh, so many things with me too. It’s gross. From lewd comments to unwanted touching to being flashed at numerous times to friends dad’s having a grope to full on fighting a friend’s husband off. I’m 52 now and can’t believe it still happens. Don’t think it ever stops

Two policemen and a GP who were friends, and all members of a sports club i was in, constantly making lewd remarks and asking why I wouldn't sleep with their mate (one of the policemen). The GP even worked in the practice i was registered with, so quite scary when I had an appointment in case I got him.
I had a Summer job working for a relative of my best friend. I was a lone worker most of the time but the 'boss' would call in at the end of the day to collect the money. He tried chatting me up, told me he fancied me, asked why I wouldn't go out with him and even when I said

1. I don't fancy you
2. You're married (to my friend's auntie)
3. You're 30 years older than me He still persisted with his line of questioning.
   I made sure not to accept lifts home from him even though he lived quite near me - public transport was a much safer option.

I never told anyone about either of these situations at the time. Wish I'd reported the GP to his practice - although doubt anything would have happened as he was one of the partners and this was the 1980's when all the partners were men.

These are all so insidious, beyond creepy.. you poor thing.

Being grabbed by men at clubs was common place, during my clubbing days in the very early 90's. My Uncle (thankfully not blood related) has the habit of invading personal space. No one in the family likes him, he's tolerated due to his wife being my Dad's sister. I must have been 14/15 and him and my Aunt visited, she'd gone into the house. I was heading to the front door to meet my friend in town, and he stood in the doorway, so I couldn't get through. He looked right at my boobs (I'm big busted) and said 'Oh Sassybooklover, I didn't recognise you with those'. I was too shocked to say anything, gave him a 'death stare' and pushed passed him. I did tell my parents once they'd left, and they never left me on my own with him ever again.

Another thing I've kind of put to the back of my mind. The op mentioned a GP. I can't remember the reason,but the old Dr asked me to take my top off. He looked. Never touched me and I wondered why all these years later I was asked to do this. I just did what the Dr said because I grew up respecting my elders 😞

Primary school deputy head pinging my friend’s bra strap in year six.

I’m in my 50s and similar. Comments from parents friends about my breasts. Driving instructor. Music teacher. Teachers. Colleagues and bosses in early jobs. Horrific. I’ve carried the anger with me wherever I go. Distrust men mostly as it’s not just the odd thing that happened, it was almost that decent non pervy men were the exception. Not sure if it’s changed. Perhaps on the surface… suspect most men are pretty disgusting and perv over teenagers to be honest if the social disapproval wasn’t there.

A friend of mine got a job a weekend job at her father’s local golf club, apparently word got round among the men that the new 15 year old waitress had ‘ a right body on her’ Her mother was mortified when she found out, the father still attended the golf club unbothered.

@Disturbia81 thank you for being so empathetic, sadly I'm not really a poor thing just a very average middle aged woman, most of us probably have similar and some a hell of a lot worse stories to tell.